V I X E N ~ june 23rd, 2017
three days later they arrested my brother for drug trafficking over the london borders. it was better of that he was arrested so he would stop harassing everyone in my life. a lot of other people from his group, including ronnie, were arrested too from the home break in investigation.
today i was traveling back to LA with esha and gus. there wasn't much room in gus's house for esha so she was going back to manhattan to go live with larry.
i wanted her to come to LA but she told me it wasn't her home and she wanted to go home now. she even told me she wanted to see her sister who was severely autistic in a home.
i let esha make her own decisions and at the airport we hugged goodbye. i shed a few tears as i walked one way with gus and she walked the other.
gus squeezed my hand for support but leaving esha was like leaving behind a family member you really loved unaware of if or when you'd see them again.
we got onto our flight, i slept for most of it. by the time we were landing i was exhausted.
we went back to gus's home, it was empty, something that was rare for his home in LA. we slept a whole entire day away, when i woke up it was june 25th.
gus was asleep but jazz was sitting there. he smiled at me. i waved politely and climbed out of bed.
"you two have been sleeping forever," he rolls his eyes.
"jet lagged from london," i roll my eyes.
"wake your boyfriend ass up," he hits gus's back but he doesn't move.
"gus," i shake him and his eyes roll open.
"jazz is here," he smiles at jazz and sits up to talk to him.
i grab some clothes and go into the bathroom. i was going to do my laundry today.
i washed myself up from my long days of rest. i cleaned up my face a little which was kind of dry and broken out from the stress of traveling and my brother. i felt a lot more relieved knowing there was little if any of his gang working to find me.
i dressed myself in some baggy jeans and a vintage nike sweatshirt with a small swoosh in the left corner of the shirt. it was thrifted and faded but it was comfy. i topped it off with some chains and my nike air force 1s.
when i walked back into my room gus told me he was heading to the studio, he didn't invite me he just kissed me goodbye and walked out with jazz.
i took both of our clothes to the laundry. i put mine in first and sat back going through instagram.
i click on post a new photo and tap onto the photos from the night of post malone.
i include a photo of me alone with the city in the back, esha and i hugging in the same background, and then another one of just me.
vixen: jet lagged 😴
i tap to post the photo and read some of the comments flowing in.
the first one is gus.
lilpeep: when ur photos together didn't make it but were really cute 😪😳
lilpeep: my gf is so hot
yungcortex: u stole my bf @Lilpeep 😑
i tap onto my instagram story and post a picture of my shoes next to the laundry.
' in a bad mood, send me some dms <3 '
i tap post and click on my dms refreshing them. a few come in so i tap onto them.
witchhbladess: <3 thank u for helping gus and being so amaing.
i like the message.
vixen: <3 he loves every single one of his fans more than i can describe
i click onto the next message
lilpeep: why baby?
vixen: idk
it was because i wanted to spend time with gus and i had a feeling he would come back later really fucked up and it was a lot to deal with and sometimes i just wanted the real gus not the lil peep rockstar version.
lilpeep: i told everyone i don't want to do anything tonight because i wanted us to do something tonight are u still down?
i smiled and liked the message.
vixen: <3 thank u daddy u make everything better. i am so down
lilpeep: good baby ;) cya soon
i click onto the next message.
sky.sallow:
heard ur in la, let's link mamas
vixen: please omg i need a girlfriend i didn't know u were in the area. text me mamas.
two seconds later i get a text from my highschool friend skye.
i click onto the message.
skye: send me addy i'll come rn with weed.
i giggle and send her my location. she tells me she will be here in five minutes and like she promises, she appears five minutes later.
she passes me my own blunt and we smoke it in the gus's house moments later.
"so tell me, what's it like dating one of the hottest rappers," she rolls her eyes at me lighting the end of her blunt as i do.
"it's literally insane. sometimes i look at gus standing in front of me and i am just like this is not the life i deserve," i giggle inhaling some of the smoke, i exhale a few seconds later.
"i fucking love his music, and it's so weird because his unreleased stuff is totally about you and it's just so cool to know you," she shakes her head and lights it hanging out of her mouth.
i do the same thing and exhale.
we hang out for a little while as i finish up the laundry i had to do. we were high and usually we always had the best conversations like that.
she told me about how her ex felix, she said he was abusive but skye loved to play victim, she would turn even the best situations around to find some bad to get peoples sympathy. it sucked because i didn't know when what she was saying as true anymore. but i listened and offered advice like it was true even if it wasn't.
she left around 4pm when i finished my laundry and gus's. i put our stuff by the closet in separate baskets to put away.
i then wandered to the kitchen. i decided to make some waffles, i made the batter and poured it into the maker making some for gus when he got home. by the time i cleaned everything up, gus was home.
he smiled sitting down at the table with the waffles.
"waffles for dinner is a dream come true," he looks down at the plate of waffles.
i sit across from him.
"yeah, i was just feeling waffles," he smile as he digs into his food.
"how was the studio?"
"it was hard, everyone was really fucked up and i was aching to take pills but i am really trying to be clean for you," he puts some of his waffle in his mouth.
"i am proud of you, if no one said it today. i know all your friends probably really wanted you to go party with them but gus i don't want to lose you," i take his hand from across the table.
he squeezes mine.
"and you wont."
