V I X E N ~ june 10th, 2017
gus took me out to lunch today after we went to the studio. we spent most of the morning in the studio until at two he dragged himself away to go get food with me.
we ended up in a little breakfast and lunch pub in a booth seat waiting for pancakes to come out. well gus was waiting for waffles.
"esha and bexey seem to like each other," gus says after he takes a sip of his water.
"they do but esha doesn't really do relationships, i don't know if she sees a future with bexey more than just a hookup buddy," i look at him.
he looks tired.
he had a long night last night.
he went to the studio with bexey and another one of their friends and didn't return home until four am where he just knocked out. i could tell he was off bars last night because he mumbled and slurred his way through sentences and slept immediately.
i did hate when he was off shit. it was hard to deal with him because he came a child, he would fall in your arms and then be sad, he would question everything you say and put words in your mouth to make situations seem worse than they are.
regardless i loved gus, even if he was suffering with his addictions. i think part of him getting over it and living a longer life was realizing that people didn't like to deal with him when he was that high.
i mean bexey didn't talk to him for most of the morning and i was pretty annoyed when we woke up.
"i am sorry about last night," he grabs my hand and puts our interlocked fingers in between us.
"it's okay, i thought you were trying to sober up though gus," i give him a sad smile.
"i am still trying, it's just hard because my whole career has been drug induced," he frowns.
"it's okay, but i think people would love you a lot more if you were able to sober up. your fans would get to enjoy you for longer because your life would flip around and hopefully you would find more purposes to stay clean."
"you help me stay clean that's why i never touch shit when you're sitting there because i am trying so hard to impress you but when i go to the studio at night and you don't want to come that's when i take too much. i need you there to remind me to stay sober."
"i really don't want to be holding you back from music."
"you really don't. you make it so much easier to go through life and having you here makes everything better.
gus and i ate our brunch together and walked the city a bit being tourists about all the cool buildings and stores.
we went back to the studio for a little bit and at around 6pm bexey brought pizza over with esha and makonnen.
gus devoured two slices of it as the boys talked about some kind of label party they had to go to tonight.
esha and i were really interested in going to another one because apparently the first one was rocky for both of us. she told me bexey got with another girl, i told her that gus got so high he passed out when we got home sitting at the table while i was making him food to sober up.
i knew since gus was with makonnen he wouldn't do any substances which meant i really didn't have to go. i could trust him to be sober tonight. maybe a few drinks but mostly sober, mak didn't take xans.
"you're coming to the party right?" gus interrupts esha and i's conversation.
"i really don't want to but if you really want me to," he shakes his head and walks out not waiting for me.
