a/n this is one of my favorite photos of him! awh he looks so cute okay enjoy now x
V I X E N ~ june 5th, 2017
gus woke me up early to get ready for the studio. it was only him and i that were going.
he worked for only a few hours, he got in at nine and worked until eleven before he told me he wanted to go somewhere.
we went home and both changed into sweatpants. i kind of just copied what gus was wearing. i changed into a long tee-shirt with some biker shorts with lace details at the bottom. i added some chains and put my hair in a high messy pony-tail.
gus took me out past the city of london.
he took me to a park that had an abandoned structure on it. he grabbed my hand and took me towards a trail.
we started walking it.
"why don't you like to talk about your family?"
"i just think reflecting on the past when you can't change it is purposefully trying to make yourself depressed," i was embarrassed of my family.
"but they can't be that bad?" he looks towards me.
"they're pretty bad," i shake my head.
"can you tell me what they're like?" he squeezes my hand.
"well my mom had my eldest brother when she was fourteen, the next sixteen, and me at eighteen. she was a druggie, a crack addict, she did everything. cps was called to our trailer home when i was two because my mom was selling pornographic pictures, she was charged with child neglecting and we were put in the foster care system when i met my real dad," he squeezes my hand again for support.
"my dad agreed to take us all in. i lived with him until i was 6. he was extremely abusive and he raped me repeatedly. we were put into the foster care system again and we were all split up for the most part, i got terribly treated, i was raped, abused, neglected, everything. until i was 14, my brother was 18, he bailed my other brother and i out."
"my other brother had a lot of mental issues, he was raped as a little boy by a male foster parent and he had never been the same. he was 16 when he got out and he was a little insane. he did every drug in the book, my older brother walked out when i was 15, he left for two years where my other brother was falling deep into the trap of drugs. when i turned 17, he died in my arms to a fentanyl overdose. so my older brother came back, he told me he came to mourn my brother. he lived with me for a few months gradually stealing money from me. when he left i gave him over a thousand dollars, he disappeared again and i was living all by myself. in that trailer park, in the middle of nowhere in new york."
"but your brother came back when you were 19?" he looks at me trying to piece things together. i shake my head.
"my mother came to the trailer park when i was in my senior year of highschool. she had a four year old daughter and she told me that she was going to therapy over here, i could come if i wanted to see her progress. i took her in mostly for the little girl she had, i basically became that little girls mom, i cared for her and fed her, that's where i learned to cook mostly. my mom was never home, esha did some research one day and found out my mother was still doing crack and hard drugs. i called cps and they found out my younger four year old sister had been raped already by one of my moms dudes. i moved out of the trailer when i finished highschool, i moved to the city."
"with esha, i moved into a different apartment. my brother came back, he stayed with us for a bit, our house got robbed three times and i was raped twice, esha was raped on another occasion too. he told us he had no association but was the first to find us each time we disappeared. he stole over ten thousand dollars from both us and left a week later. we moved and nothing touched us again. and then recently. he comes when he needs money because he knows i am weak and will give it to him," my brother was a criminal.
