V I X E N ~ june 25th, 2017
we didn't get to the roof, or i don't think at least. we were in the bathroom, the door was locked. i was sitting on gus' lap holding onto him, i was feeling fine i just wanted gus really badly. i just wanted to be with him. clinging to him. because he was stable while i wasn't completely and he was the person i trusted most.
"it's probably ketamine," he looks over at me.
"i am seriously fine gus, i want to go see the roof," i pull him with me off the floor of the bathroom. it wasn't the cleanest but gus and i didn't seem to really care.
i followed him clinging to his arm.
"not the mind this, but is this how the night is going to go?" he looked down at me. i had a big smile on my face.
he giggled and kissed before grabbing my hand and interlocking our fingers, he led me up the stairs and to the roof top. it was gorgeous.
there was a glass surrounding the roof to keep people inside.
i looked towards gus smiling. he pulled me back a little more until i was against him.
he wrapped his arms around me as we watched the city lights beyond us.
"omg! are you lil peep?" gus and i snap from our trance to see two teenage girls standing there.
gus moves away from me but grabs my hand to make sure i am okay.
"hello!' he smiles pulling me into his side he wraps his arm around my waist and my hand finds its way ti his lower back.
i didn't want to be this close with fans but i also wanted gus right there by my side.
"can i get a photo with you?" he smiles and nods his head.
i go to leave his side but he doesn't let me.
"can she be in it?" he asks the girl politely.
"can i get one alone first?" she smiles.
"gus," i try to peel his fingers off me.
i finally get them off and i stand by the girls friends as they take the photo. i smile but gus gives me a death glare the whole time he is taking the photo.
the girls thank him and he signs a few things before forcefully grabbing me. he smiles as he tightly holds me against his side.
"it's so nice to meet you guys," he smiles his hand running down from my lower back to my ass.
the girls hug him and walk away talking.
i look towards gus.
"i don't like you not by my side, you're too pretty and hot and someone else is going to come swoop you away from me and that's not fair," he squeezes my hip.
i smile and give him a kiss.
"gus you have nothing to worry about. i want to be with you. only you. i don't really see any of these other dudes as worth my time since i got you in my life. i wouldn't leave you, i am not going to ever. i am so happy that i get to call you mine and i wouldn't want it any other way," my hand finds its way around his neck to pull his face into mine.
"promise?"
"i promise i am not leaving gus," i kiss him before he question me again, he kisses back just as passionately.
we stay on the roof drinking the beverages he made me order with my ID.
"i'll be 21 soon," he smiles at me as he clinks his margarita against mine.
"soon!" i meet him in the middle and take a sip of the drink that was overly sweet but it was all the really sold here.
"i think i am going to go back on tour soon," he looks at me waiting for my response.
"when?" i sip some more of my drink.
"the label is saying september, i really want you to come," he pulls me closely into him so we are able to see eye level with each other.
"where?"
"it's a world tour, like germany and amsterdam, and london," he doesn't break eye contact for a second.
"that's far gus," my heart breaks a little because i knew i could go with him if i wanted to but i didn't know if i wanted to go that far. LA was really a stretch for me and it was mostly fine because esha and i could still get to each other in a few hours.
i would be far from her and that scared me. i would be far from the comfort lines i had, i would have gus but how long would gus like me for before he got bored?
"you're going to come right?" i can see his eyes start to gloss over as my uncertainty crosses my eyes.
"i mean september is really far away gus, i have time to think about it," i kiss him softly but i can tell he's hurt.
"why don't you want to come?"
"it's just really far and i am afraid you're going to end up hating me or cheating and i will be far away from esha to get help," he tightens his grip around my hips.
"that was one time vix, i won't let it happen again you can trust me. and if you're there you're going to be beside me at all times," he looks me deeply in the eyes.
i wanted to go with him so why was inner me telling me to not do it.
"i just am going to want to go see esha a few days before we go," i nod my head.
he nods his head and kisses me softly.
gus and i found our way into an uber a few hours later.
we smoked a little before we headed home.
when we got back to his apartment, we smoked more too.
we walked into his bedroom and both got undressed.
i climbed into bed in an oversized tee shirt and gus joined me soon after in his boxers.
"what happened to everyone always coming here?" i look towards gus.
"everyone's slowly getting madder at me," he cuddles into my neck.
"why?"
"they don't like how my label treats me, the label won't sign any of my friends so i am the only one making money so they are telling me i am changing and i am leaving them all behind me, plus i have you here now so i don't want anyone else here," he pushes me over and gets on top of me showering me in kisses.
i pull away.
"gus, jazz isn't mad at you right?" i hold his face in my hands.
"no, we are fine we are still making music. you saw him in the studio, people are just slowly falling off since i went off to london it's been happening," his lips go back down to mine and trail down my neck.
i grab his face and bring it back up to mine after he leaves bites all over my neck.
i kiss him roughly before we get tangled in the sheets.
