V I X E N ~ october 10, 2017
this week had been beyond terrible. it was definitely the confrontation with my mother that caused me to be in such a pissy mood over the last three days. no one brought up my mother, they knew right away that i was mad about it and i didn't want to talk about it.
gus tried extra hard to show me affection and be there for me but i felt bad because i was pushing him away not wanting to drag others down about my shitty family life.
gus ended up not waking me up this morning like he usually did when i slept past him. i woke up shaking with the chills. i grabbed a sweatshirt.
i was confused when i woke up to only me in the bunk we had on the bus.
i climbed down from where we slept and found my way around the bus trying to find gus until finally i found a note that he had left for me on the table we usually had breakfast on. i shake again being cold from nothing.
i open the note.
babygirl,
today is really stressful for me. i have a show in LA and everyone is going to be there, including record labels, my managers, people from our label. i am so busy i have to run out early in the morning baby. i am sorry i didn't wake you up, you looked so peaceful sleeping and i know you didn't get like any sleep last night because you were upset. it's going to be ok darling, trust me. we will find our way through this wicked world. one thing i've learned on this tour is that as long as i have you beside me, the world doesn't seem so hard to manage, i hope you will open up to me soon. i'll be here forever.
ur daddy ;)
hehe it's gus
i smile and tuck the note into my suitcase as i go to get ready for the day. i was shaking from how cold i was feeling. but why? i was literally fine. i didn't have a warm forehead.
i did my makeup, very simple look because i was shaking so much i didn't trust myself doing anything else.
i then went to go get dressed, my chills were the worst i ever had them. i was barely able to hold my body correctly.
i grab some oversized 90's black sweatpants, i put on some nike socks underneath. i had the chills. it was so bad.
i grabbed a crop top that was long sleeve with a turtle neck. it was angel print, i didn't like that print. but my brother got me the shirt so i made due with it.
i grabbed a black lil peep come over when your sober shirt and then grabbed the black XL off white sweatshirt i thrifted and threw it on over.
my chills were causing me to shake so i hid them under the cuffs of my sweatshirt.
i slipped into some black and white jordans i painted because did you think i had money? nah.
i went to the back of the bus and went to my texts.
peepers ♡:
hey baby, good morning 🙈 text me back when ur up plz i miss u already.
vixen:
daddy :( leaving with out me
peepers ♡:
had to, bryant came to the bus pulled me out of bed and forced me into the studio bright and early. can i get u an uber to me rn?
vixen:
wasn't doing anything anyways
peepers ♡:
uber will be there in 2 minutes
i wait in the booth by the front because it was hard to stand straight with my chills. it was all over my body, i felt like i needed to just sit in bed and never move again. i needed a million blankets over me and i needed to sit still.
