V I X E N ~ october 23rd, 2017
rolling loud was fun but now it was onto the next place which was cleveland. the boys wanted to get tattoos so esha and i tagged along. i contemplated getting a new tattoo to remember this tour, maybe even just the date i met gus behind my ear or something.
as gus was getting something covered i held his hand beside him.
"you should get something," he looks at me running his fingers over my knuckles.
"what should i get," i look at him waiting for a response.
"my name, i'll write lil peep on a piece of paper and you should get it tattooed right under your tits," he smirks at me.
"i'll gladly hold your boobs while he tattoos," he giggles.
"thank you gus, i am not tattooing under my boobs though," i shrug.
esha laughs and shuts off her phone screen.
"vixie this is a once in a lifetime experience, get the under boob tattoo, we are on fucking tour with lil peep," she looks at me with a titled head.
"get it with me then," i smirk at her.
"fine, let's do it, gus write it out, we will both get your name tattooed under our tits," esha stands up and grabs a pen and paper handing it to gus.
"no, i want only vixen to have it," he frowns.
"then i will get a design," she shrugs handing the stuff to gus.
he takes it and writes it out.
i was pretty numb to the pain of a tattoo after getting my whole arm covered in flowers with a thin black ring around the skin close to the wrist. the design was simple but cover my biggest scar.
going under my boobs wasn't that bad. as gus said he would, he cover my tit closest to him with his hand. his cold rings against my nipple felt good, i am sure he knew it too.
when i was done i had the word LIL PEEP out lining the curve of my left side boob.
i looked at it in the mirror in the parlor.
"i like it," i smile as i turn to esha who is looking at her barcode. she did the date we moved into the city. she said it was a time when her life finally started to feel enjoyable.
gus ran his fingers over my tattoo all day long under my shirt, he would grin every time he would fill the slight indent in my skin of his name.
gus and i landed up in a diner alone getting some food at around 3:30.
"you ok gus?" i noticed his eyes were bloodshot and he looked tired.
"you know i'm off the xans right now," he shook his head as the food came to our table.
i look down.
"do you actually want to get better or would you rather just die?"
"i want to get better, i want to live a long time with you but at the same time it's really hard for me to manage life and my emotions and i've become so in love with the feeling i can't stop being this high all the time and it's all free in this industry," his head falls onto the table.
i grab his extended hand and rub it.
"please just stay alive, i really need you," i sigh.
"I need you more than you could ever know," he sits up and looks down at his food. he pushes it to the space next to my plate and slips into the spot right next to me.
he wraps his arm around me and starts to eat with his other hand.
i smile watching his every movement, he was beyond perfect. we eventually finished and paid for the food and made our way back to the bus and the venue.
i watched the show from side stage like i usually did. the night was fine for the most part, it was nothing special. the days were really morphing together on tour, it was cool to be in a new city everyday but most of the time we were busy or we didn't know what to do in the city.
