Okay, so I'm in kinda a big situation. You see, I'm in a relationship for almost a year now and it's been amazing. His name was Max and his amazing. He shows me love and care and I love him, honestly.
"Hey, you okay?" I snap out of my thoughts and look at kairi. Kairi, his been my best friend since 6th grade and I can't imagine life without him. "Yeah, I'm fine." I laugh. "Alright." He smiled. Here's the thing, I've gotten a small liking to kairi, but I'm in a relationship and that makes it wrong. I can't have feelings for someone if I'm in a relationship. I noticed I started liking him when me and max kiss, I don't feel it. Whenever me and kairi hug, I feel safe and warm. See the difference? I'm falling for kairi when I should be falling for max.
I was hanging out with max, today since the past few days I've been hanging out with kairi.
"You know, I love your friendship with Kai." He said. "Me too?" I laugh. Why are we talking about kairi. "No, I'm being serious. Your friendship is honestly the best." He said. "Okay, what's up? Why are we talking about kai?" I ask. "Nothing's up. Just saying." He shrugged his shoulders. "What's your deal? Why are you talking about him?" I ask again. "I don't know, maybe because you have feelings for him." He said. "W-what? I don't have feelings for him." I say. "Tell me you don't ." He said. "I just did." I say. "No, look me in the eyes and tell me, you don't have feelings for him." He said. I looked him in the eyes, "I-" I felt myself pause. I can't say it, I tried saying it again, but my mouth wouldn't let me.
"That's why I thought." He mumbled. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall for him. You know how hard i tried to stop myself. I couldn't control my feelings." I felt my voice break. "I can't stop you for feeling a certain way for someone else. I can't control it and neither can you." He said. "Thank you for the past 11 months. I enjoyed them, now go get your mans." He laughed. I laughed with him and hugged him, "I'm so sorry." I say. "Don't be, it's good be in love, but it can't stay forever." I nod my head and left his house.
I was nervous to tell kairi. I was over thinking, maybe he doesn't like me? What if I made a huge fool of myself? What if the feelings I had for kairi for fake? Maybe I love max and kairi was a distraction. I need to talk to Alex.
y/nnn🥺😁: hamid, carlito! I need your help
blesiv bitch😠❣️: what? are you okay?
CARLOSSS🤮💕: what's going on? are you hurt?
y/nnn🥺😁: maybe? i don't know? i broke up with max because he realized I like kairi. I don't know if I do? I'm not sure, I can't help but think that maybe kai doesn't like me or maybe I'll make a huge fool of myself or maybe kairi was a distraction and I really love max? y/nnn: help
blesiv bitch😠❣️: if you love two people
CARLOSSS🤮💕: at the same time.
blesiv bitch😠❣️: choose the second.
CARLOSSS🤮💕: because if you really loved the first
blesiv bitch😠❣️: you wouldn't have fallen for the second.
y/nnn🥺😁: okay, I'll do it.
blesiv bitch😠❣️: and if all else fails, you know where I am and we'll be sad bitches together :)
y/nnn🥺😁: what would I do without you guys?
CARLOSSS🤮💕: probably be a dumbass
blesiv bitch😠❣️: stfu bitch, good luck y/n
CARLOSSS🤮💕: GOOD LUCK😁👍🏼
I arrived at kairi's house. I knocked on the door and kairi opened it. "Oh, hey y/n. What are you doing here?" He said, smiling brightly. "I came to talk to you." I say. He opens the door and lets me in. We go to his bedroom and I sit on his bed. He sits next to me, waiting for me to speak. "So, I broke up with max." I say. "What? Why?" He asked. "Because he found out I liked someone else. I don't know if I'm making the right decision." I say. "Okay?" He asked confusingly. "I like you kairi. I liked you for a while now. I tried to stop myself but I couldn't. I tried not to let my feelings get in the way, but they did. I'm possibly ruining our friendship, but I like you kai." I say.
"I don't know what to say." He said. The room falls into silent, I could hear my heart beating as kairi was silent. "Shit." He whispered. "You know, I think I'm going to go. I'm sorry for saying anything, I'll see you tomorrow." I said backup away and leaving his room. He didn't come after me, he didn't call after me and that's how I knew he didn't like me back.
3 WEEK LATER
Kairi hasn't talked to me since I told him I liked him. I don't blame him, I mean I ruined our friendship by liking him and I ruined my relationship. I haven't felt the same or been the same. I hardly talk anymore, I wear mattia's or alejandro or even kairi's hoodies all the time and I don't even go out. This was the 10th time crying this week over a movie. I wipe my eyes when I heard the doorbell. I pause the movie and go to open the door before looking at myself in the mirror. Kairi's sway hoodie, spandex, messy bun, and puffy eyes with dark circles, love that.
I opened the door and it revealed kairi. "Hey, y/n." He said. "Hi." I let out as a whisper. "Can I come in?" He asked. I opened the door for him to come in and I closed the door once he was in. He sat on the couch and smiled, "see you like the hoodie." I look down and realized he was probably here to ask for it back. "Shit, sorry." I said taking it off. "What are you doing?" He asked. "Giving it back." I say putting it next to him. "What? No, keep it." He said. "It's yours." I said. "And now it's yours." He said back. "What are you doing here? Not trying to be rude, but what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with the boys?" I ask.
"I came to talk to you." He answered. "I like you too." He said. "You don't have to say you do, it's okay if you don't. I'll get over it." I say but it came out as a whisper. "But I do. Y/n, I like you." He said. I felt a tear roll down my cheek, "Kairi, you don't have to say you do." "God damn it y/n, I like you!" He said shaking my shoulders. "Calm down, asshole." I said. He smiles, "there's the y/n, I know and love." I look down softly, "Kairi if your fucking with me." I say. "But I'm not. I like you." He said as he leaned in. I leaned in softly and our lips connect.
It felt right, like this was how it was supposed to be. I pull back and kairi looks at me smiling like a idiot. "Please be my girlfriend?" He said. "Sure, Kai. I'd love to." I smile.
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________________________________ made: 06/15/2020 word count: 1252 this probably wasn't even sad but 🙃🥰.
