balloons are deflated guess they look lifeless like me we miss you on your side of the bed, mmh still got your things here they stay with me like souvenirs don't wanna let you out my head
"Come on babe, you need to get up." Dess tells me as she came into my room. I shake my head and buried myself in my covers. She pulls the covers off of me and sits down. "You have to get up. This isn't healthy for you, you haven't showered or done anything since he left."
"Not sure. I've cried." I smile weakly. "Yeah?" She laughs. "Come on, Alex is expecting us to be at his house. So, shower, brush your teeth and get dressed, and if you aren't in that shower when I come back in here; I will shower you myself."
I nod my head and she kissed my forehead before leaving my room. I got up and felt a little lightheaded from always laying down.
I looked at myself in the mirror and man did I look dead. The flowers on my nightstand were dead and the balloons were deflated. Everything in this room looked dead and dull. I touched his side of the bed and could feel the warmth of him. I grabbed the pillow he would always use whenever he spelt over and smelt it. It still smells like his cologne.
The hoodies on the chair and some of his sweatpants that I knew I would have to give back eventually.
I went to the bathroom and started my shower.
-- just like the day that i met you the day i thought forever said that you love me but that'll last for never
"Hey, how are you doing?" I hugged Alex tightly, "I'm doing better. Dess finally got me out of bed." He chuckles, "Well enjoy yourself here. We're about to have a huge movie night and Carlos is bringing multiple snacks along with the other snacks." I nod my head and set my jacket down.
Kinda having déjà vu right now. I meant Alejandro at Alex's house 4 years ago.
Also the same place he told me he loved me. We had went out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our one year and he told me he loved me in front of Alex's house when he dropped me off.
I thought he was my soulmate for now or for never. -- it's cold outside like when you walked out my life why you walked out my life?
i, get like this every time on these days that feel like you and me heartbreak anniversary
5 months later
It felt kinda gloomy today. It was raining and whenever it stopped it got cold outside. It's always cold outside whenever I'm in a gloomy mood.
I only ever get like this whenever I feel sad about our breakup. Why did you leave me? What did I do? I hear our songs play only on days like this. It reminds me of you.
Why did you decide to walk out of my life? I just want to know the answer please.
i'm buildin' my hopes up like presents unopened 'til this day i still see the messages you read, mmh i'm foolishly patient
"i'll find my way back to you. i always do." Was the last thing he ever said to me. How foolish of me to still be waiting for him when he isn't waiting anymore.
I got my hopes up too high and now I'm waiting. I go over our messages sometimes whenever it's those days. I don't know why I do, it's weird right?
How I can't stop thinking about your lips on mine or how you hugged me so tightly and carefully. I don't want you out of my head, but I know you have too.
'cause i, remember every time on these days that feel like you and me heartbreak anniversary do you ever think of me? 'cause i think of you.
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y/n.y/l/n: heartbreak anniversary.
comments:
dessxmx: my baby :(
devynkohl: angel.
carlosmena: ilyyyy
noahshcnapp: imy.
corbynbesson: 🖤🖤
y/n: remember when we used to go out in the rain and dance and get sick?
alejandro: yeah i remember.
y/n: remember when you kissed me under the moonlight because i told you i wanted it to be how ariana grande described it?
alejandro: of course, i remember that. that was my first kiss.
y/n: or when you snuck out of your house when you were grounded to see me?
alejandro: i remember it all. why are you telling me this?
y/n: because im finally doing it. im letting you go now. i've loved you for so long. and i still love you. you were my first love, i will always say alejandro rosario was my first love. i will never forget you and i hope we can be friends later on. thank you for the memories. i enjoyed them. i love you.
alejandro: i love you too. i always will.
y/n: forever.
alejandro: n' some. i remember.
________________________________ made: 02/07/2021 word count: 587
the weeknd is preforming during half time and that's the only reason i'm watching the super bowl 😭😭. like the weeknd is so fine stfuuuuuu.
AND can we just talk about giveon. that come on man 🥺😻.
