Famous (Lisa/You/Lauren Cimorelli)

Chapter 49 - "You tell me that you want me..."

Narrator's POV

"Y/N... please," Lisa sighed out, tired of chasing after her girlfriend.

The Y/E/C-eyed girl let out a sigh too and slowed down her pace to let Lisa catch up to her. The older girl hesitatingly slipped her hand in hers, but Y/N made no move to actually hold it. Her hand was just loosely clamming around Lisa's and she was on the verge of just letting go again. She just felt so uncomfortable showing any types of public affection right now.

They quietly walked the rest of their way to the restaurant. If you didn't know better, you probably would've thought someone had forced them to do this or that Lisa was holding the Y/E/C-eyed girl hostage or something right now.

Despite that the music producer wanted their relationship to stay as something intimate and personal just for the two of them, for some reason, every date she's gone on with Lisa would still make it to every tabloid the next morning. That was the only thing she's asked for, to have their relationship not become something superficial, yet that's the only thing it's turned out to be. At this point, she truly didn't know what to make of this relationship anymore. She was still so deeply in love with the blue-haired girl, but this was just... ugh.

Even though this was their date night, they hadn't talked much throughout dinner.

"Is it really that hard to hold my hand?"

Y/N shifted her gaze from the concrete up to her girlfriend and furrowed her eyebrows. "What?"

It was now after dinner and they were silently walking back to the music producer's house. And this was something that's been on Lisa's mind this entire time. Whenever they go out nowadays, Y/N would either stuff her hands in her pockets every time she tries to hold her hand or she'll just always find some sort of excuse to not hold it anymore.

Lisa bit her lip as she hung her head down. "Are you embarrassed to be seen in public with me?"

Y/N sighed and reached over to intertwine her hand with Lisa's. "It's not that," she said reassuringly.

"Well, it sure feels like it," the older girl muttered to herself. It felt like ever since their relationship had gone public, everything between them has only gone downhill. The Y/E/C-eyed girl didn't seem to wanna hang out as much with her anymore and it felt like she was always trying to keep her on some safe distance. She knew she had her reasons to not trust her after everything's that's happened between them, but she just didn't know what she can do to make it right again.

There were actually so many possible reasons for Y/N to be acting the way she is. Was it because of how she used to treat her back in high school? That could be a reason. If we talk about recently, when Mary sent the paparazzi to spy on them on their walk, Y/N had flipped out, so that's very well another big reason for her behavior. In all honesty, that time, she went out with the Y/E/C-eyed girl wasn't for the sake of her manager, she did it because she wanted to blow off some steam and then suddenly they ran into this supermodel that most probably had slept with her girlfriend, so her jealousy just went the fuck off. She didn't mean for her girlfriend to feel uncomfortable over it. Thinking about it now, maybe the Y/E/C-eyed girl thought she was too clingy too.

And then there's also the foremost and most obvious reason, she really doubted her girlfriend was over Lauren just with the snap of her fingers.

The more she thought into it, the more she felt like a horrible girlfriend. She just wanted to feel loved, but it seemed like she was doing it in all the wrong ways. First she made her feel played, then she broke her up with who could have been the love of her life and she's still continuing to stop them from being together, and now she probably made her feel used and made her scared to get close to her again. No matter how innocent her intentions were, she wasn't innocent.