I've lost everything. I've lost my family, my life. I've hurt the one person who NEVER did me wrong. I've failed as a husband and a father. My girls will probably be happy without me. As much as it hurts to say this, but I think this is what's best for us. I can't hurt them any more.
I was sittin my living room, watching tv.not given a dam about the world. I'm gonna be a miserable man my entire life.
"Hey baby" Christen cheered
"I wish that was Jade's voice instead" I thought.
"Hey" I said with a weak smile
"What do want for dinner" she asked
"Anything... I'm gonna go outside for a bit" I said and walked out.
I walk out to the car. I'm surprised Christen didn't notice. But I do need to take my name off the title and send it back to Jade. It's already paid off. I went in the car, I found a picture. It was a family photo. It was a wallet size. I stuck it in my wallet. I look in the backseat. There was a book. I opened it and it was a scrap book. It started off when we first started dating. It went all the way to today's world. We had a lot of memories. God, I miss them so much.
At the end it read "We'll always love you daddy". It had Jade's and Kylie's hand print at the bottom. How can I be so blinded? My family were all I needed in this life. I've lost them. I left the book in the car. I hid it under the seat. I looked for my phone and it was in my jacket pocket. I popped up my photos and it's filled with family photos. A tear fell. I wiped it and took a walk to the pasture.
She loved. I didnt. She cared. I didnt. She was faithful. I wasn't. She tried. I failed. She did right. I did wrong. She made me happy. I made her sad. She's done everything for me and I never returned. Why am I always screwing myself over?
I look out in the pasture, and I see cattle grazing. I also see a perfect Oklahoma sunset. This view right now, reminds me of Kylie's room. Oh my sweet little Kylie. I'm so sorry I failed.
I walk back to the house. I don't know what do from here on out. Today was our first anniversary. We ended up signing divorce papers. She wanted me to join the joint custody if it came to this. But I didn't want to. Because I couldn't give Kylie the life I want her to have. I was thinking away, when my phone rang. It was Jade?
"Hey... you ok" I asked
"Umm.. yeah.. Kylie and I are heading.. I was wondering if you want to see her.. before we head out"
"Sure.. where should I meet you guys at"
"Well I'm fueling up at the Love's.. we can wait here"
"Ok.. I'm on my way"
I got in the car and headed out. I must see them. For some reason a smile appeared on my lips. But I know it's only for a moment. But hey, anything to see my little girl.
I pulled up and they were waiting in the truck. Jade got out and brought out Kylie. I walked up to them and she handed me Kylie. She looked and smiled at me. Oh I'm gonna miss her smiles and dimples. People say she looks like me but I see more of Jade in her. I leaned my forehead against hers. I kissed her forehead.
"Uh... can you give us a second Jade" I asked her
"Sure" she said walked into the store.
I see walk into the store. Kylie watched her mom. She reached her hand out.
"Kylie... I know you can't really understand... but I'll always love you and your mom.. daddy just did something wrong.. just know that... ill visit you as much as I can... but first I have to ask mom.. ok.. I'm not good at good byes.. but.. uh.. I love you with all your heart..."
I looked and Jade was coming back with snacks.
"I'll always love you both... and I'll see you soon.. ok.. my little cowgirl" I said and wiped my tears
She returned with a smile. I hugged her. I handed her back to Jade. I didn't even recognize it but I see Luke sitting shotgun. I waved at him and he returned one.
Jade closed the back door. She stuck her hands in my pocket.
"So uh...guess this is it" she said
"Yep... but umm.. let me know when you guys make it back home"
"Ok.."
"Oh... can I visit Kylie"
She smiles. "Larry she's your kid... of course you can see her... I'm not one these stingy mom's around here.. she's gonna need you sometime.."
"Ok.. safe travels" I said
I hugged her. The last time she'll be in my arms. Then she got in the truck and off they went back to Texas. I waved and my heart slowly ached.
*Jade's POV*
"Jade are you sure about this" Luke said
"I don't know Luke.. I mean it all can happen all over again.. look what happened.."
"Yeah.. but what about Kylie"
"I'll let him see her.. whenever he wants.. I'm not stingy.. he is her father.. I can't take her away from him.. she will need him along the way"
"Well I got your back though"
"Thanks"
Luke and I headed back to Decatur. It's gonna feel weird without LJ there but will get use to it. It's just a matter of time.
*five in the morning*
I got up when we pulled into the house. Luke was driving the rig top the stalls. But first he dropped Kylie and I back at the house. Then he drove to the stalls. I took Kylie into her room. I left the stuff packed, because I'm tired. I walk back in my room and yes, I did text LJ.
"Good morning... we made it back home" I sent it
As soon I sent it, he replied right away.
"That's great... ;) give Kylie and you a kiss for me.. ;P"
"Lol I don't know about me.. but I will for Kylie"
"Aww.. your no fun"
"Quit it.. I'm going to sleep.. morning"
"No.. don't go to sleep"
"Larry I am... ill talk to you later"
"Bye ;) <3"
I plugged my phone in and went to bed. I heard Luke walk into the guest bedroom. I went to sleep in no time.
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Chapter one is up!
Well least they're on good terms... ha!
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