Guardian Angel \\ l.h.\\ Luke Hemmings

Chapter Nineteen: Sorry, Save Me

WARNING: If you have any suicidal thoughts, I urge you to skip this chapter. Also, please know that if you need anyone to talk to, I'm here for you. xx

The only sound between Silvia and me was a tangible, knee shaking silence. We were the only two in the room as Silvia had dismissed Luke claiming that "his tutoring would not be needed today" and sent him home. Yet with my knowledge, he was in my room on my bed, probably twindling his thumbs.

I wonder if he knew that Silvia was waiting for me or if he knew what this chat was going to be about. Luke was a bag full of secrets, and I was willing to learn all of them. However, it did fully surprise me to learn he knew my future, he knew what was going to happen to me in the end.

Of course, I was dying to know, would there even be a future for me?

When I was little I had my future set. I was going to be a photographer just like my father. But then growing up happened and as it became harder and harder to pay the bills and as my mother pushed for a different path for her only daughter, my dream dwindled. And with my father's death it was practicallly already buried in a hole, never to be re opened again.

But then Luke happened.

Luke is the side of me that was the dreamer, the positivity, the light. And I was the clashing doubter, the negative, the darkness. It's funny how sometimes the darkness is more soothing then the light, sometimes it's just easier to be sad then happy.

If happiness was such a good concept then why was it so hard to be?

The rain was  against the large windows in the living room creating a rhythm to which my foot could tap too. I wanted this talk over with already, I wanted to go upstairs and not have to deal with my life down here.

But Silvia being the evermost dramatic queen, was simply taking her sweet time, as if other people (meaning me) didn't have to be somewhere, sipping her stupid steaming tea. I wanted to slap the cup over and have it stain over her satin skirt and matching blouse. The way she wore expensive pearls irked me to no end especially since my father gifted her the set on their anniversary.

She took another long sip, her black eyes staring at my blue orbs, criticizing my every single move.

"Stop tapping your foot. It's un lady like." She order after she blew her tea, deciding it was too hot for her tastebuds.

I instantly stopped, I was exhausted from school and walking in the rain to start another fight with her. "What did you need to talk about?" I asked with a surge of impatience; I had homework to do and a college to get to.

"Right about that." She set her tea on her beloved coffee table, "I went into your room the other day-"

"You had no right to do so." I stated cutting her off, "That's invasion of my privacy and isn't this house molded by the rule of solitude?" Silvia never, ever let me interrupt her when she was doing her work or making any meals, she often told me I was invading her privacy, how hypcritical of her.

"Well it is my house, my rules." She firmly stated, crossing her left leg over her right.

"What were you even doing there?" I questioned, trying to keep my voice at bay.

"I was checking to see what a mess your room was, God knows you live in a pig sty." I bawled up my hand into fists, I was never one for confrontation but Silvia seemed to have brought the absolute worst in me.

"And I found this." She grabbed behined her a white sheet of paper and placed it on the table. I peered over, it was my application to NYU.

"Photography?" She asked in disguist, she must have read what major I was applying for, "Photography will get you no where Cayden. The chances of you making it into photography is the chances of getting struck my lighting."

"That may be true but Luke-" I started off but she interrupted, "Luke? The boy that tutor you? Is he the one filling your mind with this nonsense? You know I have been thinking about it instead of Luke tutoring you, Lea co-"

It was my turn to cut her off, "Don't you dare finish that sentence." I am in seething rage by then, "Luke is a great tutor and friend and he's just trying to help me be happy for once in my life."

"You rather choose happiness over security in your future? Cayden, I have seen your photos they are nothing better then a six year old's drawings. Maybe it's best you go into the medical field like Lea." The way she said that made my heart shatter and my fury rise. The one thing I was sure I was actually decent at was completely destroyed my step mother and I felt numb.

"Wh-why are you acting like you care for once? Wouldn't you happy that I'm out of the house? Far, far away?" I pushed, my voice loosing the edge it had in the beginning.

"I'm just trying to give you what's best for y-" I slammed my hand on the table which made her slightly jump but she never lost her true, devilish composure.

"What's best for me?!" By now, I was screaming with raw anger at her, the world, me, everything it was all coming out. "You don't care we both know it. You rather see me on the streets dead then help me. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of you trying to control my life and comparing me to Lea, this is ridiculous. And how you dare try to claim that you want what's best for me,  just stop. Stop trying to being a mother figure to me. You will never, ever be a mother to be, you're just the witch of a woman that I got stuck with."

"You will not be using that vile language and disrespecting me  in my house again." Silvia's voice raised, almost matching mine, "And you certainly will not be applying for this college. Why would they waste their precious time on somebody like you?"

I tried to grab the application but her hand beat me. "Let go." I demanded but she poured her hot tea on the paper.

The I etched my finger back and watched as the paper drowned, ripping while ink smudged and glided off the paper.

I stood up, aware that tears I never felt before, were streaming down my face like a flood, "I hate you." Was the last words I said before I ran toward the bathroom.

Luke must have heard the noise as he poked his head out through the door, concern took over his face. "Cayden." He reached for me but I dodged him shooting toward the bathroom. I heard footsteps follow me but I slammed the doro and locked it.

"Cayden!" He yelled, banging on the door. "Open the door sweetheart!" The knob was jingling but I didn't budge.

I turned on the shower, making sure it was the hottest it could go. Steam immediately rose out and heat was radiating off the deadly water. My fingers lightly touched the liquid, I winced at the murderous temperature. It was beauitful, not the water, but the thing I wanted most, death was right before my eyes and all I had to do was step in.

I quickly stripped my clothes and wiped a few tears off my cheeks, ready to leave the world. "I'm sorry Luke." I whispered. My left arm was the first to feel the pain, I whimpered at the burns starting to form but before my full body could feel the desirable pain, I was yanked out.

Large hands wrapped around my waist and I completely lost it as I bawled into his white shirt.

The patting of the shower stopped and he wrapped a towel around my bare body. His arms lifted me from under as he carried me toward my room, my head rested in the crook of his neck.

He silently closed the door to my room. My arms wrapped encaused his neck while he sat down on my head. I didn't want to let go.

"I'm so sorry Luke." I sobbed, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Shhhh, it's okay sweetheart." He rocked my body back and forth, attempting to soothe me.

Then I said the words that would completely changed my life,

"Please save me Luke, please."