Worth It

(17) Confessions and Non-Successes

The picture above is of Tigress! A hognose snake. Aren't they adorable? I do not own the picture or the snake (sadly), but I thought it would be a nice visual in case you didn't already know what hognose snakes look like. Now you know. Your welcome! The song is called Issues by Julia Michaels and I don't own that video either. I hope you give it a listen, though as I think it kind of goes along with the chapter! Thank you for sticking with my story! Hope you like this chapter! Don't forget to hit that like button and comment! I really appreciate the feedback, my peoples! Happy reading! <3 <3 :)

"Get the fuck out of my room, Cameron!" I yell, as I quickly try to re-clasp my bra. Why is it giving me such a hard time? Maybe if my hands weren't so shaky.

Cameron comes around to my back and puts his hands on mine, gently pushing them off my bra. "Here, let me." Cameron whispers into my ear as if he's being a gentleman, even though both of us know that he isn't because instead of helping me to clasp my bra, he unclasps it. The opposite of what I wanted and since it's a strapless bra, he tugs it off easily and takes the bra in his hands before I can get it back.

This isn't good. How did I go from being giddy about Melia to being naked in front of Cameron? Again?

"Cameron!" I wish my voice didn't waver at the end of saying his name. Dammit! What is he doing to me? I need to control myself! He's just a guy.

His hands go to both my shoulders as he grips them firmly. "You're rather tense." He murmurs into my ear, bringing an involuntary shudder out of me. "Let me help you with that." His hands start moving as he massages my shoulders, earning a moan out of me. "That feels good, doesn't it?" He leans into my back, so that I feel his pecks, even through his shirt and something poking my ass... 

Yeah, he may be a guy but he is anything but 'just' I'm afraid. "Why did you come here, Cameron?" With great strength, I peel both of his hands off of my shoulders. My skin is growing cold without his body heat. What the hell is happening to me?

I turn around, so I can look at him and when his eyes zero in on my chest I realize that I'm completely naked. I let out a curse as I go to my closet and grab the first thing I see. A black nightgown that reaches just above my ankles.

He clears his throat as he puts his hands in his hair out of frustration, which just makes me want to put my hands in his curls. I take a deep breath and wait for him to answer me. 

"What are you doing here, Cameron?" I ask him again, when it is clear that he isn't going to answer me.

"I just," He starts to say, then he stops. His eyes cast downwards, not wanting to look me in the eye. "See the thing is," He meets my eyes as he stops saying what he was about to say, yet again.

I let out a frustrated breath. "Spit it out, Moore!" I yell. Patience is clearly not my strong suit.

"I'm jealous, alright!" He yells back. His eyes flaring. 

I feel my eyebrows furrow and my eyes grow wide. Of all the things he could have said, that was not something I was expecting. 

The room is suddenly quiet as both of us try to figure out what to say next. Why did he have to confess that? Why did I practically force him to? 

I didn't know he was going to say that!

I feel my heart start to beat rapidly and my hands grow clammy. I'm nervous all of a sudden. Why am I nervous? 

"I didn't like seeing you with Melia today." He begrudgingly admits as he stares at the floor, as if it's too painful to meet my eyes. "Or the other day." He half shrugs as if what he just admitted to feeling was not a big deal. His eyes look around the suddenly cramped room, searching for something to latch onto, so he doesn't have to look me in the eye.

"I don't know why or what that means exactly." He continues and I wish he would just stop talking! I can't fucking breathe! My throat is constricting. The air is growing stuffy.

"Stop talking!" I yell at him. "Just stop talking." I repeat myself, this time more quietly. 

Before Cameron can do or say anything else, the door flies open and out pops Jo. "Ugh!" She groans, not seeing Cameron. "College life can be exhausting!" She complains. "It's times like these when I wish I could bag that professor. It would be entertaining if nothing-"She stops abruptly when she sees Cameron, her eyes growing wide. "Else." She finishes wearily. "I wasn't aware that you'd be having company Zara." She tells me. "I'm sorry. I'll just be leaving now." Her hand goes to the door, but Cameron stops her before she can turn the latch.

"No." He tells her. "I was just leaving, anyway." He meets my eyes just as he goes to leave. I know he wants me to say something. Wants me to stop him and some part of me aches for that too.

But a bigger part tells me not to get attached. Tells me that if I do, he'll end up just like my parents or worse. Like my brother who has all the potential in the world, but ruined it just to help me. I don't want him to end up like that too, so instead of following my heart, I say nothing.

Cameron takes a deep breath and then leaves.

I feel my legs start to buckle beneath me and I fall to the ground in a heap of my own tears. If I made the right decision, then why does it hurt so much?

Jo

As I turn around, I'm stunned to see Zara on the floor cradling both of her legs in her arms as she rocks herself frantically back and forth. Her tears staining her nightgown. 

Oh gosh! I knew there was something between Zara and Cameron, but this? This is worse than I thought.

I go to Zara and gently move her head to my lap and she lets me as her tears keep falling. I run my fingers through her hair as I soothe the poor girl.

"It's going to be okay." I repeat these words over and over, until the tears stop falling and her breath becomes labored. Only then do I move her to her bed and put a blanket on her. I kiss her forehead gently and then get ready for bed.

I feel my phone buzzing and I pull it out just as I was about to change into my PJ's.

It's a text from Dylan or should I say booty call. I'm sorry. 

That's what it says. That's all it says. Not an explanation. Just an apology, as if that's just magically supposed to fix everything.

Well, it's not and it is not going to, I think to myself as I turn the phone on silent and tuck it under my pillow. 

His frat brothers humiliated me and he did nothing! He didn't even stick up for me. Didn't join them, but just froze as if that was all he could do.

So, no. An apology isn't going to fix this. So, he can just take that apology and stick it up his ass for all I care because I am done with redheads. I don't even like redheads!

As I look in my dresser for some PJ's to wear tonight, I see Tigress's head peeking out of her tank. Ah, my hognose snake always seems to cheer me up. I feel myself start to smile as I take Tigress off her tank and her body goes to wrap around my arm as I pet her.

"You would never let mean guys demean me, right?" I ask Tigress and she hisses. I take that as a no and I smile a sad smile as I put her back in her tank. Closing her in all the way. "I thought not." I murmur. Tomorrow will be better. It has to be, right?

P.S. my dudes, sorry if the font is messed up. The format was giving me a hard time for some reason, but anyway, hope you liked the chapter and are liking the story so far! I know that this chapter was a bit sad, but bare with me, please! It will be worth it. I promise, ya'll! <3 <3 :) Please send my story some love if you think it deserves it and if you don't... *starts crying hysterically into her pillow. Mascara and eyeliner dripping off her eyelids, smearing off her face and onto her grandmother's white pillow* that's okay too! Thanks for reading anyway!!