Worth It

(57) Come Back to Me

Cameron -- Two weeks later (the day before Thanksgiving)

She still hasn't opened her eyes. Or moved a limb and I should know. I have not left her side once since she's been in a coma.

The doctor said that her vagina had been treated too roughly by somebody. That it would heal within a few weeks.

Her burns are starting to clear up, but her body is still filled with scars. Her face has one scar right along her cheek that might never clear up.

Her lungs were ruptured and recovering, but her voice box was really damaged. The doctor's said she might be able to talk.

But it won't be like she used to. She will never be able to raise her voice again.

She damaged her vocal chords too much.

All I want is for Zara to come back to me. I don't care what form it is in. I need her in my arms again.

I can't lose her.

She is currently in a coma. The doctor's don't know when she will wake up or even... if she will.

I look at her comatose form. Her eyes closed. Her hair flowing and golden as ever. Her skin tan.

I scoot my chair closer to her if that is even possible and take her hand in both of mine. "Please get better, Zara. Keep fighting. I need you." I feel tears start to graze my cheeks. I quickly wipe them away with the back of my hand.

I hear a throat clear. I look back and see my mom in the doorway, holding a garbage bag in her hands. She smiles to try and conceal her worry. It doesn't work. I can see it in the bags underneath her eyes.

"I brought you some fresh clothes." She holds up the garbage bag in her hands and walks over to the window sill, gently placing the clothes there.

"Thanks." I say as I go back to looking at Zara. I hold her hand in mine and kiss it gently.

"You should come home." There she goes. The real reason she came here. "You need to get some rest. A home cooked meal. Take a shower. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving." She reminds me, to which I roll my eyes.

"What could I possibly have to be thankful for mom?" I snap.

She doesn't flinch. Instead, she just takes a deep breath. "You're still breathing. You still have friends that care about you. You still have me." Mom whispers softly.

Mom comes to stand by my chair. She kneels at my feet and takes my hand. The one not currently holding onto Zara's. "When your father died on me just before you were born, it was the hardest thing I ever had to go through." What? Why is she talking about that?

I yank my hand off of hers like it was burning. "I don't need you talking about that. Not near Zara." I say. "So, if that is all you came here to say, you can leave."

Mom gets up off the floor. I hear the door opening. "I just don't want you to get hurt again. I know not all those scars are from the fire. They're too old looking. Don't let her be another Jenna because you can't fix what's already broken."

And with that my mother leaves.

I take a deep breath and let it out in a frustrated sigh. "That's my mom." I fill Zara in, on the off chance that she can still hear her surroundings.

"I promise she's amazing. You'd like her." I explain softly to Zara. "She's really warm-hearted, yet she has this fierce mama-bear shell around her. She's hardened herself, kind of like someone else I know." I joke.

"But, once you get to know her, you'll see how amazing and full of life she really is." I whisper, gripping her hand tightly, not sure if I'm still talking about my mom or not.

I take a deep breath. "I bet you're wondering who Jenna is, right?" I ask, knowing she won't answer and hoping she does.

"I never really told anyone this before, other than my mom so this is kind of hard for me to say. But you've shared so much with me and I know I can trust you and not just because you're in a coma." I kid.

"Sorry. That isn't funny. I'm just a little nervous about what I'm about to tell you. That's all." I explain.

"She was my first girlfriend. I never had any after her. Well, except you. We never said that we were dating, but I think it's kind of obvious." I smirk, trying to make light of this heavy conversation.

"I was a terrible boyfriend to her. I only came to her when I was drunk from going to parties all night long. I never invited her to them because she could be a little awkward around those types of scenes. It wasn't like she asked me if she could ever come, either." I find myself defending.

"Well anyway, one day I go to her place drunk as usual. Climb up to her window and don't see Jenna who is usually always waiting for me with a glass of water in one hand and Advil in the other, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"At first I don't think it's anything out of the ordinary because I don't know. I wasn't thinking straight. I call her name a few times and she doesn't answer. So, I check on her in the bathroom. She has a bathroom in her bedroom which is convenient. If she ever had an accident, she didn't have to go far.

"Anyway, I knock on the door and don't get an answer. I call her name a couple of times, but still nothing. So, I decide to open up the door just to make sure."

I gulp, trying to work up the courage to tell her something no one really knows about me. "I found her in the bathtub." I whisper.

"Her neck was cut open. A knife lay against her thigh. Her body is lifeless."

I pause, too in my thoughts. "What really hurt was knowing that in that moment I had no idea she even hurt herself." I admit. "I was that much of a shitty boyfriend that I didn't even know she cut herself. Until it was too late."

I close my eyes, trying to make my tears go away. It still hurts to talk about it, but in a way it is also freeing to get it off my chest.

"It's okay." I hear somebody whisper. I open up my eyes immediately and to my shock, I see Zara's emerald green eyes wide open staring at me with the most beautiful expression on her face.

"I still love you." She whispers and I grin. I take her in my arms, trying not to squeeze her too much for fear I might hurt her.

I feel her arms come around me and her lips softly graze my cheek.

"I love you." I whisper to her, as I lean back just enough to kiss her.

I feel her kiss me back fiercely and sweetly all at the same time.

"I love you too." She says and I have never heard anything more sweet in my entire life.