Worth It

(7) She Likes Me Not

(Song is called Girls Like Girls By Hayley Kiyoko. Thought it went along with the mood of this chapter! Hope you like it! Don't forget to comment and vote! (: Thanks you and happy reading y'all!)

June

I don't know why I'm going into my dorm. They might not even be in there and if they are, so what? Why should I care? She obviously doesn't want me.

I don't even know why I wanted to audition for Corners anyway.

Oh, right! Because Shane suggested I'd audition. Said I might be good at it. Said I certainly had the body for it and I foolishly assumed that she was flirting with me.

What is wrong with me? Why would anyone that sweet ever want someone like me? Cold as ice?

I finally reach my dorm room and just as I am about to enter, I stop myself.

This was a bad mistake. I mean, what if they aren't even in there? Or worse, what if they are and she is doing God knows what to Cameron?

And that's when I hear Shane's voice.

"Not whatever. What are you doing?" Her voice seems startled. So, they aren't having sex?

"I'm eating a sandwich. What do you think I'm doing? I'm taking my shirt off." That deep voice is definitely Cameron. Sarcastic and annoying as ever.

Wait! Did he say he was taking his shirt off? Why the fuck would he be doing that? I thought they weren't having sex? Are they going to? Did whatever the hell he's got going on in their turn Shane on?

"Whoa, Cam. No way. We aren't doing that." Thank the Lord! I look up to the ceiling, pretending it's the sky and put my hands above my head in thanks.

Some people passing me by on the way out of their dorms stop for a moment, giving me a weird look to which I hiss at them and they promptly rush away. Good. It's not like what I do is any of their business anyway. If I want to pray like a loony bin out in public, then so be it. Freedom of practicing my religion, right?

"I just wanted you to get away from Zara." Shane says finally. Who's Zara? Does she have a crush on Zara?

That's it! I don't care what they think of me. I can't let this (whatever they are doing) go on any longer. I have to put a stop to this.

So, I turn the knob to me and Shane's humble abode if you will and their eyes immediately go to me. Good thing I'm studying to be an actress. Show time! "Oh!" I say, feigning surprise. My eyes immediately turned to Cameron's.

I hate him. I hate him so much and I barely know him. All I know is that he wanted to use Shane for sex just like he does to all his other girl's and that alone is enough to make me hate this guy.

No one is going to hurt Shane. Not if I can help it and then I get an idea.

Maybe I can make him want me. I mean how do I even know that I just like girls in the first place? I never had sex with a guy. I could be bisexual. Maybe I could kill two birds with one stone here. Make Cameron leave Shane alone and see if maybe I could like guys too.

Then, maybe I could stop obsessing over my roommate. I hate that I got Shane as a roommate for the second time around. It really messes with me. Knowing she could never feel the same way for me as I do her.

Welp, alright then. Here goes nothing. Let's see if he takes my bait. Literally.

"I didn't mean to interrupt. I'll just go now. Sorry!" I say as I make my way to leave, poking out my butt a little to try and peak his interest further.

"That's okay. You weren't interrupting anything, actually. I bet I can make red head leave and we could do something worth interrupting. You in?" He stops me with the most sleaziest line I've ever heard and believe me, I've heard a few. It's like he's not even trying to have sex with me. Does he want me or not?

Who cares if he wants me or not. I don't want him either. I'm just trying a bit of an experiment here. I remind myself.

"Okay." I reply quietly, hating myself for saying yes when all I want to do is pull Shane into my arms and never let her go.

"Cameron Moore!" Shane squeaks out his name in what seems to be disappointment. I wish she were saying my name that way. Then at least I'd know she was upset and I wouldn't have to try this stupid experiment. "Really?" She questions him.

"Really." He answers her as he makes his way over to me and drags me to the bed. "Now get out before you see something your virgin eyes can't handle." He tells Shane, as he kisses me. He tastes weird and his grip is too strong. I don't like this at all nor do I like the way he is speaking to Shane.

"Unbelievable." I hear Shane mutter to herself as the door closes.

"Finally. I thought she'd never leave." I feel myself burst into a fit of giggles out of nervousness and he leans into me, kissing me on the lips once more. I hate his lips. They are way too puffy. They practically engulf mine. He smells like my father would. Cheap cologne.

I know I'm going to regret this after it's over, but I can't bring myself to stop.

I can't bring myself to care.

I need this. I need to make sure that I don't like guys. If I don't like this sex, then I know for sure that I am a lesbian. But I have to make sure.

He starts removing my shorts and I help him. I just want to get this over with. I doubt I am going to enjoy this. Maybe doing this though, will help me get over Shane and I desperately need that. I mean, all the girls are always going on about how great Cameron is in bed. Maybe I could enjoy it.

I don't care for what he's doing now, but maybe once it's done, I will.

And that's when his dick decides to make an appearance and I feel my eyes go wide. "Holy shit!" I can't stop myself from saying those words. He's fucking huge and I'm a virgin when it comes to guys! He's going to rip my vagina open and then I'll never be able to have sex right with girls ever again!

He flips me over so that I am on my hands and knees on the bed before I can even blink. I hear what I'm assuming is a condom unwrapping somewhere in the background and then before I know it, he shoves the thing deep into my asshole. "Fuck!" I scream and grab my pillow.

I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I really fucking hate this!

Once he is done, he doesn't ask if I am okay. Doesn't even see if I have finished, which I didn't. He didn't fucking care! He zipped up his jeans. Did God knows what with the condom and then left.

So that was Cameron in bed? The guy girls brag about bagging in bed?

He was terrible! He didn't even take off the rest of his clothes or mine for that matter. That was terrible. He was terrible, I can't help but think to myself for the second time. He really hurt me. I feel so sore and he didn't even finish popping my guy cherry because technically my girl cherry has already been popped, since I've had plenty of pussy in my life.

Well, I don't intend for any guy to ever finish that job. At least now I can be sure that I will never ever like guys sexually. I am a lesbian through and through and fuck do I want Shane. How am I going to change that?

Maybe me auditioning for Corners will make Shane like me. Maybe we can bond more. She probably thinks I'm a bitch for what I did to her. If only I could tell her, in a way I did what I did for her.

I got him to get away from her and she clearly didn't want him around. I hope she'll see it that way.