The Way She Wants It (Michael Jackson FanFiction)

..58..

"What?" I ask slowly, not able to process what the doctor has told me. 

"Abby," he sighs, "I'm so sorry for your loss.... your baby has died," he repeats as I stare off into space and Bria breaks down as Michael wipes tears from his cheeks, "There was just too much trauma and stress for them to survive." 

"Her," I sigh shakily, looking back into the doctor's eyes, "My baby was a girl." I murmur as a ball forms in my throat and I look down to my stomach. 

"Bee," Michael croaks. 

"Is there anything else I should know?" I ask shakily, knowing I could cry at any minute now. 

"If you need to talk to someone, I know many people who can help with this sort of situation. I know that this is probably hard for yo-" 

"Are there any other medical concerns I should know about?" I interrupt, needing him to leave as soon as possible. 

"No," he sighs, looking down to the clipboard, "No, there's not. Just a lot of rest for a good recovery. I've prescribed medication for you to take. It's on it's way to you," he sighs, walking to the door, "Again, Abby, I'm so sorry for your loss." he says thoughtfully before walking out. 

I nod, looking out the window as tears brim in my eyes and the ball in my throat grows to the point where I know I won't be able to swallow. 

"Fuck," I grit as tears run down my cheeks and I quickly snatch my hand from Michael's to wipe them away. 

"Abs, I'm so sorry," Janet sighs, taking a seat beside me, "I know that this is going to be tough, but I'm here... and of course you have Michael and Bria as well. We're all here to help you if you need it."

"Bebe," Bria sniffles, crouching next to me, "I'm so sorry. I just... I feel like somehow this is my fault." she sniffs and my brows furrow as more, silent tears run down my cheeks. 

"It's not your fault," I murmur, wiping them away, "This has nothing to do with you." 

"But I just feel like if I had been there, this wouldn't have happened," she explains, making me confused. 

"Were you supposed to be at my house?" I snap and her eyes sadden. 

"No, but-"

"Then this has nothing to do with you." I grit, pressing my hand to my chest. 

"I know you're hurting," she murmurs, standing up, "So I'm going to let that slide, but I'm just saying, I wish I had been there." 

"I bet a lot of people had wished they were there, but they weren't," I croak, looking up at her through watery eyes, "This happened, and there's no way to turn back time. Stop wishing that you could've been there or that someone was there to stop them because it's over. My baby is dead. That's it." I sob as tears consistently stream down my face. 

"I'm still sorry," she sniffles. 

I shake my head, looking away to nothing as Michael wipes his hands down his face. 

"I need to be alone right now," I sigh, "Janet, Bria, Steph... please leave." I sniffle, looking up t the three of them. "I love you all, but right now I'd just like to be alone with Michael." 

"Of course," Janet nods as Steph and Bria scoff.

"What?" Steph asks, clearly astonished, "You need us right now." 

"I need to be alone," I cry, wiping my eyes, "Please leave." 

"But-" 

"Come on guys, let's go," Janet nods, shuffling them out of the room. I nod to thank her and she winks, closing the door behind her after they walk out. 

"Bee?" Michael asks hesitantly after a few moments of silence. I look over to him and into the eyes of the man I love and I completely break down. 

"Michael," I sob, holding my face in my hands as I cry from the back of my throat and tears continuously roll down my hot, burning face, "Michael, what did I do?" I sob and he tries to shush me comfortingly.

He slips off his shoes and climbs in beside me to hold him tight to his chest as I cry hysterically. 

"Michael, this is all my fault," I sob. He rubs my back lightly, kissing the top of my head, and I feel his tears fall onto my forehead and scalp. 

"No it's not, baby," he sniffles, holding me tight in his loving embrace, "This is not at all your fault. Your parents are terrible for doing what they did, especially to their daughter and granddaughter." 

"I shouldn't have let them in," I bawl, "I should've known they wanted to hurt me."

"Bee, this is not your fault." 

"Fuck," I grit, hiding my face in his chest, "Fuck, this is all my fault." 

"No, it's not baby. You're okay, this has nothing to do with you." 

"Of course it does," I cry in hysterics, "First I don't want the baby and I think it's going to ruin my career, then I actually want the baby and think I'm going to be a great Mother. Then my parents come and kill the baby that I wanted to have! This is completely my fault. I'm such a bitch." 

"Bee, we're going to find your parents and they will be held accountable," he sniffs. I know he's still crying, "It's okay. Our baby girl is in a better place now." 

Michael continues to hold me against his chest as I sob my eyes out for the next half-hour without relent. 

I can't believe my baby girl is gone... and her grandparents were the reason for that. 

God, what kind of crazy life am I living? 

"Do you hate me?" I sob, looking up at him through my wet lashes.

"No," he says with a pained look on his face, "No, of course, I don't. I could never hate you. This is not your fault. You didn't ask for this to happen." 

"I'm sorry, Michael," I cry, holding his shirt in my hands, "I know how much you wanted this baby." 

"Bee, it's okay," he reassures me, brushing a curl behind my ear. 

"I'm sorry," I apologize profusely, "I'm sorry you're not on tour." 

"I'd rather be with you anyways," he sniffs a smile and I press my forehead to his chest.

"Michael, I love you," I cry, "Promise you'll stay with me." 

"I promise, Bee," he sighs, holding me tightly, "But tell me one thing." 

"Of course," I sigh, looking up into his deep brown eyes. 

"Are you relieved that you no longer have to be a Mother?"