The Way She Wants It (Michael Jackson FanFiction)

..59..

"What?" I whisper in disbelief. 

"Are you relieved that you don't have to be a mother anymore?" he asks again and my heart shatters into a million pieces. 

"Get out." I murmur, rolling onto my back to painfully sit up again. 

"Abby, tell me the truth," he sighs, "I won't be upset, but please just tell me... are you happy?" 

"Of course I'm not happy!" I scoff, wincing a bit from the bruising of my ribs, "I told you I wanted this baby. Just because I had uncertainties, in the beginning, doesn't mean that I didn't want this baby."

"But, you were saying that you didn't want the press and your fans looking at you any differently then you are now." 

"Are you trying to convince me?" I snap, whipping my head back to him as tears roll down my burning cheeks. 

"Bee, I just-" 

"Get out," I murmur again, lying on my side, "Michael, get out." 

"I'm not leaving." he asserts as I face away from him. 

"Get out of my room or I'll call security to come get you." 

"Abby, I'm not leaving," he repeats, "I just want to talk about this." 

"Well, assuming that I'm happy my baby was killed is not a good way to start a conversation!" I yell, looking over my shoulder at him and his brows furrow. 

"That's not what I was trying to say," he sighs and I scoff, rolling my eyes. 

"Are you fucking kidding me? That's exactly what it sounded like." 

"Why are you pushing me away?" he asks softly, wrapping his arms around me from behind and I shiver under his touch. 

"I'm not," I sniffle as tears run down my cheeks and onto the pillow, "I'd just like you to leave." 

"A few minutes ago you only wanted me in here." he reminds. 

"That was before you started asking stupid questions." 

"I love you, Bee," he smiles, kissing the space behind my ear, making goosebumps on my arms. 

"Michael, please go," I sigh, shakily, as he runs his hand up the side of my thigh. 

"Now why would I leave my sexy girlfriend." he pouts, trying to redeem himself. 

"Because she asked nicely, and she doesn't want to have to get violent with you." 

"Fine," he sighs, kissing his teeth, "I'll go." 

"Good," I murmur as I feel him stand from the bed. 

"But, just so you know, I'm going back to Asia in three days. I have to, you know how it is. We can do anything you want in these three days, but I'm just letting you know that I do have to leave soon. You get it though." he sighs before walking to the door and closing it behind me. 

My bottom lip quivers and I break out into loud sobs all over again. 

How could he even question my want for this baby? 

Obviously I didn't want it to die. I never wanted my child to be harmed. Sure, I had some concerns in the beginning, but I had come to terms with being a mother and I was looking forward to it. Not only that, but a child would've also made our lives together perfect. 

And now he has to go back on tour, leaving me all over again. 

What am I going to do? 

"Why Michael," I cry into the sheets, "Why do you always leave me? Why does everyone always leave me?" I sob, creating water stains in the sheets beneath me. 

"Abby?" a soft voice asks, after a few more minutes of me bawling my eyes out. 

"Janet?" I sniffle, looking up through my blurry, tired eyes to see her sitting beside me. I must've been crying so loudly that I didn't even hear her come in. 

"What's wrong, babe?" she asks, placing a hand on my shoulder. 

"Michael thinks that I'm happy about this whole situation." I cry and her face falls. 

"What? How could he even say that?" 

"When I first found out I was pregnant, I wasn't excited, to say the least. I was worried about being a Mother because of the media and everything, and the fact that I've never had a good Mother myself," I sniffle as my explanation comes out muffled by my tears, "So, I guess he still thinks I never wanted the baby." 

"Abby," she sighs heavily and I look up into her eyes. 

"Janet," I choke, "I was ready to be a Mother. I wanted to have a family with Michael." 

"You still can," she smiles, a tear running down her cheek, "You and Michael will get through this. You can always try again." 

"I hope so," I mumble, wiping my nose, as I lay on my back, "I really hope so." 

"You don't think Michael wants to have a family with you?" she scoffs, "He's always wanted to have a family of his own." 

"Maybe," I shrug, "But I've come to learn that Michael and I are on completely different wavelengths." 

"But you guys," she pauses for a second to stare off into nowhere, "You guys always seem so connected... so in love." 

"We are," I nod, looking away to try and fight tears, "But I've never felt farther." 

I swallow the lump in my throat, only for it to return, and Janet sits in silence, not knowing what to say.

"I tried to leave him," I sigh and her brows shoot up, "He didn't tell you?" 

"I kind of knew he was being an idiot in the relationship, about a month ago, but I didn't think it was as serious as that." she murmurs, furrowing her brows. 

"I tried to leave him," I repeat, staring up at the ceiling, "But he's the love of my life. I hate him and I love him, and I want him, and I need him gone."

"Abs," she sighs, shaking her head, "Michael would do anything for you."  

"Janet," I sigh, looking towards her, "You, out of all people, know how difficult I can be. I'm not right for him. He will have a better life without me." 

"You can't decide that for him," she smirks, standing from the chair, "Just try and work it out." 

"What if I don't want to?" I ask softly, tears brimming in my eyes, "I'm so tired, Janet. I don't want to try anymore. I don't want this heartache anymore." 

"If you don't try to sort this out, that's all you'll feel." 

I look away from her as tears run down my face and the door to my room opens and closes. 

Janet left. 

I roll onto my side and curl up into a ball as tears consume my face and sobs emulate from my throat as I think about my baby girl, Michael, and the family that we could've had.