Persphyni : I am Darkness

51

I stood watching Clarke leave the drop ship. Her words rang in my ears.

"Then we kill him."

I turned around and met Murphy's worried eyes. I slowly crouched beside him and dropped my voice to a whisper.

"That isn't going to happen. I won't let it." His eyes held tears as they looked into mine.

"What if you can't stop it?" His voice breathy as he whispered.

"I think I'm stubborn and maybe a little bit crazy enough that that isn't an option." I gave him a smile before standing up.

"I'll be back shortly." I directed towards Murphy, grabbing my stuffed pack in hand. "If anyone touches you, verbally abuses you, or anything at all towards you, let me know." I directed my gaze towards Connor and Derek.

"If I find out that anyone has been near Murphy besides you two, you both will pay." The two shared a glance and nodded. I shouldered my pack and walked passed Finn and Bellamy. The latter trailing after me as I walked to the water tent.

"Why were you defending him?" I heard him swing his gun over his shoulder as he matched my fast walk until he was right next to me.

"Because." I didn't have to answer to him. I didn't have to answer to anyone.

"That's not an answer." His tone was aggressive and deep like he was trying to intimidate me.

"Look, Blake." I stopped and turned to him. "I have my reasons, just as you have yours. Do me a favor and stay out of my way until you don't have to worry about it anymore." I walked into the water tent and started to fill my flask I would be taking up. Followed by two cups, one for me and one for Murphy.

"No, you don't get to say that." Bellamy stormed into the tent as I finished putting the flask in my bag. Closing it up quickly so he wouldn't see what was inside.

"I can say whatever the hell I want to." I closed the water as the second cup filled. Grabbing it and heading back outside. But I was stopped when Bellamy grabbed my pack and pulled. The water spilling on the floor as he tugged the pack from my shoulder.

"Blake," I had dropped the cups and grabbed one side of my pack as he held the other, "let go." My voice was dangerously low. Bellamy pulled on the pack, automatically making me pull harder.

"What is your deal?" I shouted as we played tug of war on the makeshift backpack. I tugged hard, my momentum pulling me backwards. And unlike the last several times, I didn't have any tug from Bellamy's side as he let go.

I landed on my back as the pack flew out of my hands and a few feet from my head. I rolled on my stomach attempting to stand when Bellamy's body weight tackled me back onto the floor. The surprise and the fact I landed flat on my stomach knocked the wind out of me. I couldn't move as he kept me pinned, his arms reaching for the bag as I tried to throw him off.

"Bellamy, get off!" I tried to push up with my arms but I only got so far. I clearly needed to get back into my training program. I watched my bag get picked up and placed on my upper back as Bellamy sat pinning my hips and lower back to the floor. I reached a hand back to grab my pack but he swatted it away.

"Be good and stay still." I felt my body tense and freeze.

"Go float yourself, I'm not a dog." I growled as I fought to move my limbs. But I was stuck on the ground.

"That growl tells me otherwise."

"Shut up, Fake. Give me my damn pack."

"So impatient." I could hear the smirk in his voice as he began to open the pack.

"Bellamy, I'm not playing around. Get off and give it back." I heard him pull the flask out and set it to the side. I remembered the order I packed everything. Tent was at the very bottom, then the tarp of my cot, then two of three blankets, some rations and the flask. I heard the plastic bags of rations being set on the ground.

"Bellamy, cut it out." But he wasn't listening. If anything my worried tone made him go faster as he set the first blanket to the side.

"Why do you have this stuff?" I heard him set the second blanket down. I didn't answer as I felt him still after he tossed my folded tarp on the floor and began to pull out my tent.

"No." It was barely a whisper. But I heard it. I set my forehead on my hands and just laid there waiting for him to get off of me.

"You were going to run." I didn't answer.

"Persphyni, answer me." I still didn't. Which infuriated him.

"You were going to leave tonight weren't you? I bet you were already halfway out of camp when you found Murphy." He threw my empty pack down, his eyes staring at the back of my head. "Why? I thought you were going to stay?" I held my tongue.

"Answer me!" He shouted, honestly I wouldn't have been surprised if someone can barging in at the noise. I felt a hand at the back of my neck as he got off me and knelt to my side, lifting me up to face him.

I went for my dagger, but I couldn't find it. And when I went for my gun, it was gone too.

"Why?" He asked calmly as he placed my dagger to my throat. I scoffed, as I met his eyes, my face ice.

"Go float yourself, Fake." He pressed the blade further to my neck.

"Why?" I felt my resolve crumble as I stared into his brown eyes. They were soft and comforting hidden deep behind the hard and aggressive outer shell. I looked into his eyes fighting myself as I tried to shove the iron back into wall around myself.

"Because, you lied. People don't need souls to live and fight." Bellamy continued to glare at me as he slowly let go off me. I caught myself as I fell to the ground, my hands on the ground to brace. "How can you be something to someone when you don't even have it yourself?" I didn't look at him as I sat on my knees.

"You can't." He answered, I turned to look at him and saw his face fall. We were silent as we looked into each other's eyes.

"That's why." I grabbed my backpack and started to repack everything. I had gotten my tent, and cot tarp before his hand stopped me. I was reaching for my blankets when he set his hand on top of them, making my hand grab his.

"You have a soul, Persphyni. Everyone does." I took my hand off of his.

"Even monsters? Killers? Murderers?" I whispered looking into his brown eyes seeing him scan my face.

"You're not a monster, Persphyni."

"You didn't answer my question."

"Didn't I?" I eyed him skeptically. Since when is Bellamy an intellectual?

"Look," he sighed, "you've been fighting and surviving your entire life. Only this time you're not alone."

Not alone.

Not alone.

Not alone.

"You're wrong." I whispered looking down at my pack.

"No, you're wrong. You have Clarke, Octavia, Monty, Jasper, Finn, Raven, the 100, they all are there to help you. And they need you." I slowly looked up at Bellamy, a small smirk on my face.

"Aren't you missing someone?" Bellamy met my smirk with a laugh.

"I guess Murphy may need you too." I rolled my eyes as Bellamy let another laugh.

"Listen," Bellamy got serious, "we need you, all of us. I need you. We need you to be our soul, the camp's soul. The heart, head, and soul." I stared into his brown eyes, searching. For what, I wasn't quite sure.

"Okay." I whispered as I looked back down at my pack. "Okay. I'll stay, but only because I have to keep your ego in check." Bellamy smirked, giving a laugh as he stood up.

"Whatever makes you stay, Queen. Whatever makes you stay."