Hisoka X Illumi - Mission Possible [a Hunter X Hunter fanfic]

36. I thought you were American

Chrollo POV:

After a half-assed security check around the mansion, Pakunoda, the dog owners and I were all escorted out of the estate by a somewhat intimidating guard.

"Hey Pakunoda, the guard escorting us is pretty cute..." I mumbled.

"You think so?" She said, clearly not agreeing with me.

"I'm going to go talk to her." I stated, my eyes glued onto her.

Pakunoda slightly grabbed my shoulder. "Boss, please excuse me, but I think we should focus on our current task."

I usually go for feminine women or masculine guys. But a masculine woman? It's tempting.

But I feel I need to respect my spiders.

Ah... Decisions decisions...

I probably shouldn't, the other members are likely already at our designated meet-up spot. Especially since Shizuku is driving.

Surprisingly, the mansion had very low security and not enough people to follow the Troupe, on top of that, they had pitiful communication so backup didn't even show up after we left.

Right after leaving the property, Pakunoda got a call from Machi so I waited by the garden's side gate with Mike.

"Hey." A deep voice greeted.

I turned around to see the cute guard from earlier.

"Oh hello!" I smiled.

She laughed a little nervously, however still remaining on guard. "I was watching the dog training today and saw you-"

"Chrollo-san!" Someone called from behind me.

Fucking Zepile.

"I'm so upset to be leaving you so soon... There's still so much I want to learn about you- like that book you carry around..." He rambled, completely ignoring the woman next to him.

"Excuse me." She boomed.

Zepile jumped back in surprise of a woman actually standing up for herself. After seeing her, he completely switched personalities.

"Hey pretty lady, did it hurt?" He 'flirted'.

The guard gave an annoyed sigh and shifted her weight to the side, hand on hip. "Did what hurt." She grumbled.

"Well you fell from heaven, obviously!"

"Men like you are the reason I don't like them." She snided.

Oh I guess she wasn't asking for my number.

"Back to what I was saying." She turned her back to Zepile. "I saw you dropped this and wanted to give it back." She produced my phone from her pocket. I saw she had to take a double take at it before handing it to me.

Wow I'm lucky, if I lost this, it could've been bad. I don't have numbers saved and I delete my call history but not being able to communicate would be bad for any amount of time.

When she handed it back to me, I also had to do a double take on the lockscreen.

Why is Hisoka's ass on my phone?

Whatever.

****

Me and Pakunoda simply took a taxi to a hotel near the meet-up spot.

Once the taxi drove away, we started our walk down the alleyways and eventually to the Troupe members.

As per usual, they all rose and bowed, revealing the merchandise behind them.

"Wow good job guys!" I gleamed. "I'm a little underwhelmed though... Who knew it'd be that easy?"

They all nodded their heads in agreement.

"Oh! Before I forget- Where's Nobunaga?" I asked.

"He got a call from Meteor City right before we went in." Phinks replied.

"It seems we didn't really need him anyway." Machi stated. "We got everything worth something."

I chuckled at her statement. "Well I can't argue there... Alright. Can Phinks and Franklin please find places to sell these items, Pakunoda and I will do an inventory check while Machi and Shizuku will estimate our profit." I ordered and they swiftly got on with their tasks.

****

As the day went on and the night neared; I couldn't bring myself to return to the caravan. For a lot of reasons actually...

Seeing how annoyed Illumi was, and knowing his personality, he is definitely making Hisoka sleep in the living room, in fact maybe even outside. I can't deal with the complaining.

Due to my plan, Hisoka wouldn't be able to get his next supply of Bungee Gum. I don't know how much he's stolen from the mansion but I just know he's upset about not getting more.

And my plan did kill their dog that I paid for.

AND I didn't tell them about it to begin with.

Needless to say, I slept in the temporary hang out. It was a little cold and definitely not as comfortable as the caravan but that's understandable.

****

47 missed calls and 7 voice messages- all from Hisoka's number...

I'd just woke up and sleepily opened the voice messages to hear a tipsy Hisoka.

"It's because of you Illumi kicked me out!♠️"

"Answer my calls.♠️"

As each message progressed, his speech became more and more slurred.

"Illumi is so so mad at me.♣️"

"It's it's it's your fault Chrollo.♠️"

There was a half hour pause between the first four messages and the final three.

"iM ALL AloNE om daBeaCh~♦️" He sang.

"ILLUMI DeAr~ WhY arE yOU hErE!♦️"

The final voice message was Hisoka's loud sobbing and Illumi's muffled voice, complaining about Hisoka's drunk ass.

So I guess his substitute for Bungee Gum is alcohol. That's gonna be problematic later down the line.

****

A/N shit I think it's gonna finish tomorrow lmao