I Am Me When I'm With You (COMPLETED)

Kabanata 35

I failed. I failed on making my heart cold. I made everything to be strong and brave the past three years. Lumaban ako sa lahat para ipakita na hindi ako dapat inaapi-api. Nabansagan pa akong fierce lady dahil sa ipinakita kong ugali sa lahat. Isa akong bastos, palaban, at magagaliting babae sa US. Pero nag-iba na ngayon. May tumunaw sa malamig kong puso. Lahat ng harang na binuo ko ng ilang taon, nasira niya ng ilang segundo lamang.

But I don't regret anything. This failure should've made me sad and disappointed but I feel happy. It's as if hundred needles were pulled out of me.

I'm always wondering. What's with Zane? Why does his simple presence makes my heart leap? Anong mayroon sa mga ngiti at tawa niya at gumagaan ang loob ko? Anong meron sa mga salita niya na napapakalma ako kahit nasa mahirap na sitwasyon? Hindi ko alam. Probably it's because I love him. Is this true love? Actually, I can love anyone else. Someone who will not make things complicated for the both of us. But I won't. My heart refused. It has decided to chose its owner. And it's not me. It's already on someone else.

"Why did you do that?"

Lumingon ako kay Zane na nakasimangot na naman. "Hmm?"

Narito kami sa sofa. Nakaupo ako habang nakahiga siya sa hita ko. Ako ang tumapos ng mainit na pangyayari kanina. Matagal yun at kung hindi ako titigil, hindi siya titigil. Ngayon lang ulit kami nag-usap dahil mahabang katahimikan ang bumalot samin. Parang hindi naman siya naiilang, ako lang. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nahihiya sa kaniya.

"Earlier. Matapos mong yumakap sakin, hindi mo na ako pinansin. You act as if nothing happened." He laughed sarcastically. "You think for me nothing happened? I'm pissed. Really pissed."

Anong magagawa ko? Nahiya ako dahil narinig nilang lahat yung sinabi ko. Pati pag-iyak ko, narinig nila. Halatang halata ako.

Ngumuso ako. "Bakit ba? Nahiya ako eh. Narinig nilang lahat yung mga sinabi ko. Para ko na ring pinakita ang kahinaan ko."

"What the? Yun talaga ang inalala mo? Hindi mo man lang ba naisip na nasaktan ako?" Bumangon siya at humarap sakin. "So their opinion of you is more important than my feelings? Really Sapphire?"

Napalunok ako sa tingin niya. "S-sorry." Yumuko ako at tumingin sa mga daliri ko. "Akala ko lang, hindi dapat pinapakita ng leader ang kahinaan niya sa members niya. Na dapat laging malakas. Nahiya ako dahil narinig nila ang pag-iyak ko. I was told not to show my emotions 'cause it will bring me down."

"Hey, hey." He lift my face for me to look at him. "Nothing is wrong in showing your emotions. All you have to do is to use it as your strength and not your weakness. I'm here. You can fight with me. I don't care about your plans. I just want you to be safe. Alright?"

Tumango ako. Inalis niya ang luhang namuo sa mata ko at hinalikan ako sa noo. At least now, I'm not fighting alone. He's now with me.

"Don't do it again, okay? Don't think about them. Just think about us."

I smile at him. "Opo, engineer."

"Come on, ihahatid na kita sa suite mo." Bigla niyang ginulo ang buhok ko kaya agad kong pinalo ang kamay niya.

"Stop!"

"Why?" He tilted his head. "You shouldn't look beautiful outside. You might attract men. And I hate that."

"Tapos ikaw?" I scoffed. "Madaya ka! Gusto mong pangit ako pag lalabas pero gwapo ka pa rin? You might attract women. And I hate that."

"Baby," he sigh. "I told you. Wala na tayong magagawa sa mukha ko. Gwapo talaga ako."

"Bahala ka nga." Nauna na akong lumabas sa kaniya.

Yeah right. Wala na kaming magagawa sa mukha niya. Gwapo talaga siya. Kahit yata pagsuotin ko siya ng maduming damit, makukuha niya pa rin ang atensyon ng ibang babae. He's just so beautiful. To the point that I want to lock him inside my room and hide him from the eyes of others. But I can't. Zane is man who can't control. He'll do what he wants and I'm willing to support him in everything.