Jamilton Oneshots :)

it could've been worse[Jamilton]

aka jamilton needs to get their shit sorted.
this is something new I'm trying out.
tw// depersonalisation, allusions to self harm, mentions of death,mentions of depression,very angsty
[open ending,up to interpretation!!]

alexander stares at the mirror.
a blink. he could've sworn he saw red.
liquid flowing in puddles,
resting in the crooks of himself.
did thomas know? another blink.
lavender covering small,red nicks on his arms.
a stare onto the ceiling.
could he have known that thomas would be there?
another blink goes by. more lavender covers him.
he could've been dreaming.
could he close his eyes?
alexander tries not to move.
a sharp pain flows through him if he did.
thomas.
if only he'd listened to john. or eliza.
now a camellia rests on his left eyelid.
a blink,albeit with more difficulty.
what if he'd never came home?
he tries to not notice the vibrancy of the bleeding hearts
starting to intertwine themselves to his leg.
will thomas see this? see him,like this?
he'll make sure he doesn't.
right?
another blink.
alexander feels more remorse ripping through.
he can't stay here for much longer.
if only he'd listened to lafayette and hercules.
another red line soothes his worries.
a lily sprouts through the red.
a blink. another blink. time seems to be irrelevant.
the floor below him starts to absorb his warmth.
coldness floods into his system.
more liquid flows through the crooks of his body.
he feels less and less
with every passing moment.
thomas. what would he have said?
alexander's head hurts.
morning glories flow through his heart.
constricting the flow of the blood.
his thoughts lose all meaning.
another blink.
this time with blackness around the corners.
alexander sees the silhouette of a beloved.
his thoughts are failing.
he lays, fallen.
covered with flowers that bloom bright.
it could've been worse,he thinks.
alexander thinks of thomas. he smiles.
thomas.
his eyelids flutter shut.

as if somewhere,a body is still falling apart.

yeah,this was a short and heavy one. i hope you enjoyed??? short angst while i suffer through my exams :)

some explanations because i think people are confused

because I'm a nice person I'll explain my intentions. if you guessed hanahaki boi you right. but this is freeform so it's not exactly very clear that he throws up the flowers(because he doesn't but it is still hanahaki) and alexander suffers from unrequited love because thomas doesn't reciprocate his feelings (I'll assume he's with martha and alexander's suffering) and so that explains the flowers. alexander slowly blinks because he is about to die and this fic gives really graphic details of it because i am like that :) thomas here is an implied playboy. john,eliza,hercules and lafayette all know about alexander's love and they all try to convince him otherwise,hence them being mentioned. as I've said in the warning before,depersonalisation and depression are key themes in this fic,so that should explain the red lines and him losing all feeling.

the "as if somewhere,a body is still falling apart." is because plot fucking twist,thomas has hanahaki and he died a few hours prior to this fic. and who does he have hanahaki for? ALEXANDER. yes these two need to fucking fix themselves lmao i told you they had communication problems :)

i hope that clears everything bye you lovely packets of green tea

[572 words]