Mileven One-Shots

Flashbacks

(EXTREME TRIGGER WARNING: Suicidal thoughts, talk, and actions. PTSD. If you or someone you know needs help, please call the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255. You aren't alone. Your life is precious and beautiful. You are worth it.)

El had been struggling lately.

A lot.

Every day was a new issue. Nothing big was going on in her life. It was her own mind causing her problems.

She had flashbacks. These flashbacks brought on anxiety, which led to panic attacks, and eventually she'd break down sobbing in a corner pulling at her hair until it was over. Not even Mike was able to help her. He'd try, but she'd use her powers to throw him away and he'd sit, helpless and heartbroken, and have to watch until it was over.

Today, El was feeling pretty good. She was leaning against the wall, on the phone with Mike, figuring out when he was coming over.

"I'll be over this afternoon around 4:30. And my mom said I could stay until 10 or so," Mike said. El felt herself smiling.

"Hop is going to have dinner sent to us," she said, twisting the phone cord around her finger. Then she felt a familiar sense of panic in her chest; a pressure coming from the inside out, signaling the onset of a flashback. Then it hit her head and she dropped the phone and grabbed her hair, screaming and crying.

"El? El!" Mike shouted through the phone. He could hear her screaming and he knew what was happening. He hung up and ran downstairs and snatched his mom's car keys. He didn't even have a driver's license, but El was more important to him than the law.

"Mike what the hell!" Karen shouted.

"El is in trouble I have to help her, NOW!" He said and ran out the front door. He jumped into the car and sped out of the driveway and down the road.

Meanwhile, El felt the flashback fade from her head. She sat back against the wall and started sobbing. She could barely breathe. She didn't know what to do. The pain in her heart and her mind was so strong, she could barely function. She rose to her feet and everything felt surreal. She wanted to take a hot shower, but everything was spinning. She guided herself along the counter and to the sink, gulping down a glass of water.

Then she remembered a movie she watched with Max once; a sad one. The character escaped the sorrows of her life by taking an entire bottle of pills at once. El wasn't sure how that worked, but she wanted to do it. Maybe death was better.

She dragged her feet into the bathroom and started the shower with ice cold water. She opened the medicine cabinet and found several bottles of Hopper's prescribed pills. She grabbed two of the fullest ones and then shut the door to the cabinet and caught a glimpse of herself. Her face was red and puffy, as well as her eyes being bloodshot. Her lips were dry and chapped and she had nearly black circles under her eyes from sleepless nights. She wondered what Mike still liked about her at all. Then she screamed again. As best as she could with her raw throat. She punched the glass as she screamed, busting her knuckles open. Finally, she didn't have to look at herself anymore.

She grabbed the pill bottles and climbed into the shower. The cold of the water felt like pin needles on her exposed skin. She was wearing shorts and a t-shirt to combat the heat outside. She desperately untwisted the caps from the pill bottles and dumped a handful into her mouth, drinking the water from the shower to get them down. She repeated this action until both pill bottles were in her system. At first, she didn't feel any different. So she started to cry hard. But after a couple minutes, she felt the effects. She felt her airway close up, and it was hard to breathe. She felt extremely nauseous. She started to gag, trying her best to keep them in her system. Her fingertips were turning blue. Her consciousness was becoming fuzzy, and every sound she heard echoed and every time she moved it was like real life lag. Every movement of any part of her body made her feel sick. The sound of the front door bursting open sounded like a gunshot.

"El? El!" Mike's voice echoed. She turned her head slowly to the door and could make out Mike's face.

"El on my god! El what happened what's-" he started. Then he saw the empty pill bottles. The heartbroken, terrified look on his face made El instantly regret the decision she'd made. She couldn't die.

"Jesus El hang on..." He gasped and ran to the phone. He dialed Hopper's office phone number.

"What?" Hop asked when he picked up.

"El...El just tried to kill herself...get to the hospital now! I'm going to take her, she'll die if we wait for an ambulance!" Mike said and hung up, leaving no time for Hop to ask any questions. He ran back into the bathroom and turned the water off.

"Mike...I'm sorry..." El murmured as he scooped her up, tossing her arms around his neck. She was barely conscious and her eyes were starting to close.

"Don't worry about that right now just...please...dear god...don't die..." he cried as he ran her out to his car. He laid her in the back seat and drove 80 miles per hour down the road to the hospital. He skidded to a stop in front of the emergency room doors and scooped her out of the car.

"Help! Please we need help!" He shouted. He was met by nurses pushing a gurney, bombarding him with questions. He didn't answer any of them. He was following them as they rushed her in and then they stopped him.

"I'm sorry sir I can't let you pass!" The nurse said. Mike watched as they went around a corner with her and a nurse came to ask him questions.

"Who are you to her? What happened? Did she ever lose consciousness?" The nurse asked.

"I'm her boyfriend. We were on the phone and then I heard screaming and crying and immediately left my house to see her and I found her in the shower overdosing on pills...she was awake when I got there but she might've passed out before..." he cried. The nurse nodded and wrote what he said on her clipboard before walking away, telling him to take a seat. That's when Hopper walked in the door.

"What the hell is going on?" He asked Mike.

"El tried to kill herself...we were on the phone and I heard her screaming and crying so I took my mom's car to get to her and when I got there she was in the shower with two of your empty pill bottles..." Mike cried. Hopper pushed him aside and tried to see her, but even the chief of police couldn't invade on the medical procedure. Mike sank down in a chair beside Hopper. He wasn't crying anymore; he was shocked. But when doctors began to run frantically in the direction of her room and he heard the words "clear!" Being shouted, he knew what was happening. He got up and ran in that direction and was stopped by two doctors.

"El! El!" He screamed. Hopper grabbed him and pulled him back and hugged him tight. He sank to his knees and begged for her life.

"Please don't die please...I love you..." he sobbed. Hopper pulled him up off the floor and that's when the others came into the waiting room. Joyce hugged a crying Hopper. But Mike was hyperventilating with tears and his friends circled him in a big hug, all crying too. They remained like that for what felt like forever, when the doctor came out.

"Which one of you is Mike Wheeler?" The doctor asked. Mike stepped forward and wiped his tears.

"Me..." he croaked.

"She's awake. She asked for you immediately," he said. Mike turned around to Hopper, who had expected that, so he didn't care. Then he walked forward and the doctor took him to El, who's eyes were half open and she was staring at the doorway.

"Mike..." she mumbled. She held her arms out weakly and he walked into them and leaned over her, his face in her hair as he cried and she hugged him close to her.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." she cried. Mike sat up and ran his thumb across her cheek.

"I'm just glad your alive..." he cried. El started sobbing and pulled him back down to another hug.

"Me too..." she sobbed.