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God, I'm an idiot

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God, I'm an idiot. Why did I kiss her? I thought she was feeling it too. I feel so stupid.

A couple of hours pass and I can't decide if I should text her or not. I don't want to make things worse but I feel like I should apologize.

📱Avah I'm really sorry please don't hate me. I got caught up with the day and I'm an idiot.

I hit send and and stare at it for a minute. She hasn't read it. I lay the phone down and cut out the light. The tv is all that is lighting up the room.

I close my eyes and remember the kiss and her soft warm lips on mine. I really want to do that again but I messed up and she may never come back to even help with therapy.

I roll over on my good hip and close my eyes when my phone beeps.  I fumble around in the bed to grab it.

📱Levi, I don't hate you, and your not an idiot. I did feel something and that's why I ran. I'm scared and any relationship I've been in just didn't work and so I run. I'm sorry for doing that.

I read that a few times over again and again and smile.

📱Does that mean you may want to kiss me again?😁

📱Really Levi? But maybe. 😜

📱Sounds good. Drop by tomorrow if your bored and want to help Mr. Broken hip out. Goodnight Avah sweet dreams. 😉

📱Goodnight Levi! I may just see you tomorrow. 😴

What a relief she's not mad. Maybe now I can go to sleep and hope she comes over tomorrow.

I throw my phone on the bed and doze off to sleep. The next morning my bladder wakes me up and so I manage to get up on my own with my walker and go to the bathroom.

When I make it back over to the bed and sit down I'm tired. I pick my phone up to see if any messages when Gray walks in.

"Hey! I just wanted to check on you and bring you breakfast." He said.

"Thanks, Gray I just now made it back to bed," I said rubbing my hand over my face.

"I know this shit sucks but you seemed to enjoy your time with Avah yesterday." He smirked.

"I did and I really enjoyed her watching her mom have fun. From what she said her mom was staying in the bed and has no life to her." I said.

"That sucks. Looks like the kids brightened her up though." He said.

"Ruthie was all over her and she loved that. Turns out Remi's parents live near Avah's." I said.

"Remi mentioned introducing them," Gray said.

"I appreciate all Remi did yesterday and the way you guys have been taking care of Violet for me," I said.

"It's no problem but umm really I came over to get the scoop on you and Avah. I saw the way you two were looking at each other." He smirked.

"I'm not sure man I thought I messed up whatever was going on between us but she said I didn't. I kept my hand on her leg for most of the evening feeling it out then when she came in to put me to bed I kissed her." I said.

"What? you kissed her?" He asked leaning against the dresser.

"Yeah she was standing between my legs and I moved my hands up her legs and well she didn't stop me so I pulled her down for a kiss. Was a short peck and then she pulled back but then she pulled back in and I kissed her again then she got all weird and rushed to leave." I sigh.

"So how do you know you didn't mess it up?" He asked.

"A few hours later I texted her telling her I was sorry for being an idiot and I must of read the signals wrong," I said.

"And has she responded?" He asked.

"Oh yeah said she was feeling the same way just scared. So I invited her over today." I chuckle.

"Look at my brother go. I knew you liked her from the first day you went to progressive therapy." He smiled.

"I do like her. She's gorgeous and caring and she likes you guys." I smile.

"I'm happy for you brother," Gray said.

My phone pings. I reach over in the bed and smile when I see it's from her.

📱I'm going to take you up on that offer. I'll see you around lunchtime with food.

📱Sounds good Avah! I can't wait.

"Looks like she's coming over at lunch." I smile.

"I like the smile, Levi! I'm going to take the kids back down to the beach to make sandcastles so I'll keep Violet so you can have your date. She did tell me last night she liked Avah and hoped you had babies." Gray laughs.

"That damn Sierrah for saying we were making babies. I almost died." I laugh.

Gray laughs... "I have no idea where she got that from. Probably a movie."

"I don't think my little pony talk about making babies." I laugh.

"Do you want me to help you clean up and put clean clothes on?" He asked.

"Oh, yea please then I can eat this. I may smell and well I can't put any moves on her smelling like a banshee," I said.

"Didn't think I would ever sponge bath my brother but what the hell," Gray said walking into the bathroom.

Once the bath was over he got me out a pair of nice sports pants with snaps up the side and a black V-neck t-shirt. I fixed my hair and put on deodorant and cologne.

He grabbed my shoes and put them on and then helped me into the living room in my recliner and brought me the breakfast Remi made along with my meds.

"I appreciate it, Gray!" I said as he walked out the door. Now the anticipation of her arrival is another whole feeling of nervousness.

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