SAVE ME ||A Kim Taehyung Fanfiction||

⫣10⫦ Letting Go

The fire is already crackling when we join the others and Taehyung comes back, packed with blankets.

He shoots me a wicked grin, takes my hand and pulls me down onto one of the sofas.
I sit and watch him fill a cup.
Then he offers it to me with a raised eyebrow.

"Care for a drink?"

The others watch too and I eye the cup for a moment, fully knowing this is a terrible idea. Alcohol makes people do stupid things, my father always says.

I only tried it once when one of the girls from my old school sneaked in some expensive, red wine.
It tasted awful and bitter and I swore myself never to drink again.

But this is different.

I already jumped off a cliff today- how bad can it be to drink a bit of alcohol?
Before I can question my decision, I take the cup out of his outstretched hand and take a good long sip.

The others hoot and cheer while Taehyung just watches me with a humored expression.
I taste the dormant taste of Cola and another, burning substance.

It feels warm and hot as it goes down- but not bad.
More like I swallowed a sweet piece of burning sugar.

"Not bad." I let out with a smile and take another sip.

"This is just a taste, princess. Today we'll just give you a little preview of what it can be like."
Taehyung tells me with a grin, then fills himself a cup too.

Suga turns up the music then, and a loud chatter begins to fill the darkening night.
I take more sips from my cup as I listen to them and laugh at their jokes. Their bantering and teasing.

For a while I am just content watching them.

Jin is balancing three cups on top of each other while Suga is busy throwing everything into the fire he can lay his hands on.

RM tells a story of one of their nightly adventures and J-Hope tries to bottle flip on another bottle, with little success.

Jimin and Jungkook are perched on one sofa and I cant help to see their knees touching again.
While Jimin is focused on drinking and listening to RM, I can see the stares Jungkook shoots his Hyung every once in a while, like he can't help but watch him.

I remember it was because of Jimin that Jungkook got out of that other gang.
I have no trouble believing that he admired and was unbelievably thankful for that, explaining the admiration I can detect in his eyes.

My thoughts are starting to blur, my skin feels ticklish and I start giggling for no reason.

At one point, both J-Hope, Jungkook and Jimin got up and started dancing around the fire, keeping up with the fast beat of the music.
Jin laughs out loud and it reminds me of the wind shield of a car, causing me to crackle up too.

RM gets up to move too, and his movements are so funny and yet awkward at the same time that I laugh out loud again.

Suddenly Taehyung stands up and looks down at me, holding out a hand.

"Dance with me," he says but I shake my head violently.
It makes me feel like the word is spinning, not my head.

"I can't dance."

He smiles like he expected me to say something like this.

"First of all, it's not about being able to dance- it's about feeling the rhythm and just letting go. And secondly, I doubt someone with your athletic abilities doesn't know how to move her body."

I try to find another reason to refuse- and then realize there isn't one.
I place the now empty cup on the sandy floor and take his hand.

"Wohoo, get those hips swinging, Lian," J-Hope calls to me over the fire, joined by some other encouraging yells from the others, even Suga.

I stand there, a little uncomfortable.

Then I let out a surprised yelp when something dark covers my eyes.

"Shh, no worries. I'm just helping you let loose a bit," Taehyung's voice says somewhere close to me and I realize he must have bound my eyes with something.

The alcohol is making me feel all warm and dizzy already, but then I feel the soft pressure of Taehyung's fingers on my hips and another sort of dizziness overcomes me.
More effective than the alcohol.

The music is loud in my ear as he swings my hips to the beat and leans in close.

"Stop thinking so damn much and just feel it.
There is no reason to be embarrassed or uncomfortable.
You are by far the least fucked up here, trust me."

There are so many things I want to say as a respond, but I don't.
Maybe it's the effects of the alcohol or something else, but I stop thinking and just listen to the beat of the music and the feel of Taehyung behind to me.

The feeling is intoxicating.
I never danced like this before.
I didn't even think I could.

I start to twirl and twist and the blindfold falls off at some point, but I keep on moving- keep on laughing too.
I become one with the music, the beats controlling the movements of my body, leading it flying over the sand floor.
I feel sweat staring to run down my body and my breath comes out in fast huffs, but I don't stop- almost like something else has taken over my body.
Like I am possessed.

I look at all of their faces and see my joy mirrored in theirs.

So this is what it's like: to really have fun.

I never want this feeling to stop.

I feel weightless and free, my feet moving almost on their own, the sand still warm beneath me.
I don't know for how long I dance circles around the fire, but eventually my feet begin to hurt, my breathing sharp and snappy and I drop myself on a sofa, breathing heavily, but still grinning like a fool.

My head is swirling, but not enough to make me feel sick- after all, I only had one cup.

"I have to say- you're really something."

I turn my head to my left where Suga is sitting.

I haven't even noticed him.
Out of all the others, he's the only one I haven't spoken to much.

"I thought you didn't like me," I blurt out, no more sensor between my lips and brain.

He smiles at me- and I remembered how Momo told me he never smiled.
I'm glad to find out she was wrong.

It turns his face into something sweet and cute: almost like a little cat.
Absolutely adorable.

"That's before I knew you were like us."

I shoot him a confused look and he sighs, taking a long drag on his cigarette.

"I know RM told you about us- and what happened to us."

He doesn't sound mad- just matter of factly.

"It's true that our pasts have driven us to this kind of life- living on a junkyard and leaving us all damaged in some way or another."

His face darkens for a fraction of a second, but then that smile returns and he nudges his head in the direction of the other's, still jumping and joking around in the warm summer night.

"But who we are is not because of what happened.
We just learned that living life in the moment is the only life that matters, because you never know when it might end.
We seek the thrill and give a shit about rules not because of the crap our families put us through, but because we accepted who we are and what we want and we will never apologize for it.
Life is precious.
And it should be celebrated each day."

I stare a him, the flicker of the bonfire making his face dance with an inner light.

"And who are you, Suga?"

He lets out a humored laugh and takes a sip from his cup, before throwing it into the flames.
He turns back to me just as the fire screeches with the alcohol it has been fed with.

"Danger makes us feel alive and misbehaving makes us feel powerful.
In societies eyes, that makes us the bad guys.
If so, I suppose we just love being bad."

"And you think I'm like that too?"

His answering smirk is all that I need to know.

Yes.

And maybe- just maybe, he's right.