SAVE ME ||A Kim Taehyung Fanfiction||

⫣13⫦ Hidden Anger

We sit in the cafeteria, eating our lunch.
I keep quiet, lost in my thoughts while they chatter away.

I wondered, not for the first time, if the person who I thought I was had always just been the true act.

My mother taught me that I needed to be the image of grace and kindness at all times. No one likes a rude girl.
If I want to be liked, I have to be pleasing to others.
Calm and quiet, elegant and understanding.

My father nurtured my hate for breaking the rules and laws and always preached to me about how I needed to keep my image and reputation clean.

It does make me wonder now..

How many times had I actually acted nice and kind out of my own volition and not because I thought it was expected of me?

How many times were the words leaving my lips not the same as those in my head?

And how often had I found myself apologizing for things that weren't even my fault, just because that's what I have been taught to do?

Honestly, I have no idea.

And if it weren't for meeting Taehyung, I might have never wondered about it.
About who I truly want to be instead of just living for others.

Did my parents ever ask me what I wanted?
About which job I might want to do one day.
About hobbies I want to pick up.

With a sharp pang of pain, I realize they never have.

They just always told me what to do, and being the good little girl that I was, I had done it without questioning.
Or perhaps, I simply saw no reason to defy them.

I had nothing to lose.
But now I do.

"Hey? Are you still thinking about what happened earlier? You're so quiet."

I look up to see Momo and the others gaze at me with concerned faces.
I shake my head, but then frown.

"Why do you think Taehyung and Jungkook are the way they are?"

Nayeon sets down her cup of water and looks at me over the rim of her round glasses.

"Who cares about them, Lian?
They are little more than some troublemakers with no future.
They'll probably end up on the streets or in prison anyway.
You shouldn't give them the satisfaction of thinking about them.
They're nothing."

I nod even as my teeth hurt from clenching them together so tightly.

"You're probably right.
It's just that I really can't understand what they get out of being so mean."

Tyuzu smiles sweetly, playing with her long hair with perfectly manicured nails.
I know all of us come from equally wealthy households and for the first time, that bothers me.
The way everything with them just seems so... shallow.
Empty.
Cold.

"They probably just want to make themselves feel better by bringing others down."

"Hmm, I'm not so sure," Momo throws in.
She looks uncomfortable as our attention falls on her.

"What? You think they are secretly just sad, young boys looking for love?" Nayeon spits sarcastically.

Momo shakes her head and for a moment I don't think she's going to say anything else.

"It's just that before the thing with Lian today, they didn't really bully anyone outright.
They usually keep to themselves and only stir up trouble when it's first brought to them, like what happened with Lisa last year."

I look at her questioningly.

"Lisa? You mean the class president? That Lisa?"

She nods and puts down her fork to lean forward, talking quietly as if she doesn't want to be overheard by others sitting close by.