always...

chapter 16 - tanaka

after practice, tanaka greeted his other teammates goodbye besides nishinoya and ennoshita. the three of them walked to tanaka's car, nishinoya and ennoshita tagging along to catch a ride home since tanaka was the only second year that could drive. kinoshita and narita always walked home, so the other three grew closer as a result of countless car rides together.

"ryū, when are you going to dump her?" noya asked suddenly.

"yeah, i asked yachi out and noya asked yaku. you're the only one who hasn't done anything yet dude," ennoshita added.

"god, i know i know...you both know i'm not that confrontational though...how do you even break up with someone?" tanaka answered.

"just say that you're breaking up with her and be very clear about the reason why," ennoshita said.

"and do NOT take no for an answer. you can't afford to be a pushover, otherwise you'll get trapped in that toxic relationship forever," noya finished.

tanaka simply nodded, trying to internalize what his two friends had just advised him to do. with that, the three boys stepped into tanaka's car. tanaka inserted the key into the ignition, the sound of the engine starting up followed by music starting to play from the speakers as tanaka's bluetooth automatically connected.

they drove in silence for a few minutes, the only sound that filled the space being tanaka's playlist on shuffle.

"okay. i'll do it today. i have to go pick her up from niiyama anyway and drive her home as well, but i'll drop you two off first," tanaka decided.

"alright you do that and don't forget to text us after," ennoshita replied.

nishinoya nodded in agreement as tanaka pulled into ennoshita's driveway, the future captain getting dropped off first. noya's house was the next street over and soon he got out of the car too, leaving tanaka alone as he began to rehearse in his head what he would say to his future ex-girlfriend.

okok...kanoka, i'm sorry. i'm breaking up with you...no, no that's too blunt. you and i are over...? no, that's worse...tanaka shook his head in frustration, slamming his palm on the steering wheel as he sat at the next red light.

finally, he arrived at niiyama, pulling into the parking lot closest to the volleyball gym. it wasn't hard to spot kanoka since she was one of the tallest girls there, but at the same time tanaka wished he didn't see her because he was already panicking about what he would say to her first.

tanaka unlocked the car doors as kanoka approached, the popular wing spiker waving goodbye to her teammates as she got in the car.

"hey babe," she said flatly, kissing tanaka on the cheek almost only out of habit.

"hey," tanaka muttered.

"ugh, i'm so drained...i had to play at 120% for all of practice because the nationals team coach was scouting me today. i don't know if i can do it again tomorrow since i still have more scouts coming," she said, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"wow, i'm so sorry for you," tanaka answered, turning his head towards the window as he rolled his eyes.

not that kanoka didn't notice his sarcasm, but rather she decided to ignore it. she didn't want to get in another argument with him since their last one hadn't really been resolved yet either.

the couple stayed silent for the entire car ride to kanoka's place.

dump him. dump him. dump him...michimiya's words echoed through kanoka's mind.

michimiya was one of kanoka's close friends, regardless of being at different schools and michimiya being a year older. it was actually daichi who introduced the two of them when kanoka first visited tanaka at karasuno during their first year. they clicked instantly, bonding over volleyball and music taste, even though those were about the only things they had in common. kanoka admired michimiya for several reasons, the number one being how considerate and generous yui always was.

when kanoka told yui about how her and tanaka had been having problems lately, yui never faltered with giving sound advice.

"dump him. it's simple. sure, you guys have been together for years, but the relationship has obviously grown toxic. the best and healthiest thing for the two of you is to break up. it's not worth it, feeling stressed and frustrated all the time about your relationship," yui had told her.

dump. him.

"noka?"

"yes, ryū?"

"can we walk around for a bit? i just want to talk..."

"um...okay sure. let me just put down my stuff inside and we'll go,"

kanoka ran inside quickly, and dropped off her bags then met tanaka back outside. the couple started walking down the street, the sun setting in the distance.

the blue sky faded into reds, oranges, and yellows, a faint crescent moon beginning to appear in the distance. they walked in relative silence, each of them trying to sort through their thoughts quickly.

"look, noka...i-"

"ryū wait..." she cut him off.

they stood there on the side of the street in silence for a second before tanaka spoke again.

"it's okay...you go first," he nudged.

"listen..." she began. "we've had so many problems lately that all end up in petty arguments that almost never get resolved. we never see eye to eye anymore on anything and i feel like we've both been tearing each other down..."

"wha-what are you saying?" tanaka replied.

is she doing what i think she's doing?

"i'm breaking up with you."

"oh."

there it is, tanaka thought to himself, feeling a dull ache in his chest all of a sudden.

"i-i...i don't know how else to explain this...i think that with going to different schools and both of our busy schedules and with where we are right now...it's not working, ryū. our relationship has gotten toxic and i don't think it's healthy for either of us anymore," kanoka rambled. "please understand, i really don't mean any harm," she finished.

tanaka paused for a moment. well...at least now i don't have to break the news i guess...

"i-i get it," tanaka stated. "it's not working out between us and things just aren't the same as they were before."

"yeah...exactly," kanoka mumbled.

they walked back to kanoka's house, the sky darkening into night. the stars were dim and the air felt harsh against tanaka's face. he walked with her up to her front door before kanoka said one last thing.

"i'm sorry ryū...i really am..." she pulled him in for a quick, yet warm hug. "maybe one day...we can be friends again like when we were kids?" she suggested.

"yeah...maybe i guess," tanaka muttered.

she pulled away and gave him a quick nod before turning on her heel and heading inside, leaving tanaka standing there. he wasn't sure how to feel if he was honest with himself. he wasn't sad, but he wasn't happy either. he knew it was for the best and frankly, he was planning to dump her too, but in the end she beat him to it. again.

she's always ahead of me, huh?

the rest of his night was uneventful. when he arrived home, he ate dinner, texted the guys, and showered, then got ready for bed. he laid there for a few hours, staring aimlessly at the ceiling, his mind blank. it wasn't long before tanaka finally drifted off to sleep, completely numb and unbothered.