always...

chapter 33 - daisuga

suga slowly opened his eyes, his vision still blurry. he could barely make out the figure in front of him, but he could feel his arm still stinging.

he tried sitting up before an arm barred him down, keeping him in the same position he had woken up in.

"just stay there, ko-chan...i'm almost done."

"...tōru? w-what are you doing here?" suga muttered, his voice still shaky.

"asahi and kiyoko called me since seijoh doesn't practice on fridays...they said something happened with daichi and that you left practice without saying anything," oikawa explained.

the setter held a damp towel in his hand, carefully cleaning up suga's bloodied arm. suga winced every time the cloth touched the wound, but it was nothing he wasn't already used to.

"what happen-ah! ouch..." suga asked, slightly confused as he rubbed his throbbing temple.

all i remember is staring at the mirror after using the glass...and...right...he doesn't love me anymore...

"i got here and you were passed out on the floor, kōshi. it looks like you hit your head on the way down or something...i'm going to get some ice, okay? can i trust you to take care of the bandaging?"

"...yes. i'll do it..." suga answered quietly.

oikawa stood up and went downstairs into the kitchen, leaving suga to tend to his forearm. he took out the gauze and medical tape, carefully wrapping the wound and securing it. he cleaned up the blood on the floor then headed to his room and threw himself on the bed.

"i couldn't find any actual ice packs, so just use this for your head," oikawa said, tossing suga a bag of frozen peas as he walked into the room.

"thanks."

"suga...why didn't you call me? i know you have my number on speed dial," oikawa questioned, sitting down on the end of the mattress.

"i...i just didn't want to burden anyone? i don't know...sometimes i just feel like i should suffer alone," suga mumbled.

"no one should ever have to suffer alone, kōshi. talk to us...we're your friends and you won't ever be a burden to us, i promise. after all, it's the least i could do for making you listen to my incessant whining about iwaizumi all the time," oikawa laughed.

"i just feel like...i feel like someone as pathetic as i am doesn't deserve the friends that i have," suga started.

"i hate myself, tōru...i hate my life, my body, my personality, my conscience...i hate feeling like this and i just...i don't want to feel anymore," suga confessed, his tone harsh and cold.

oikawa laid down next to suga, the two setters staring up at the ceiling.

"honestly...me neither...but you have to stay strong ko-chan. better days will come, i promise you," oikawa assured him.

suddenly, the seijoh setter sat back up, startling suga out of his blank trance.

"BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?! since you're insecure i'm gonna hype you up! suga, you are quite LITERALLY the most intelligent person i know. you have the best playlists, a HOT bod, and anyone would be lucky to have you. daichi is a dumbass hoe and does not realize the grave mistake he made, but that's his loss not yours," oikawa ranted, crossing his arms.

suga was quiet for a moment before he sat up next to oikawa, a small chuckle escaping from his stoic expression.

"and what's it to you tōru?" suga giggled.

"alright fine! fuck it. i'd smash, but i love iwa so," oikawa shrugged.

suddenly, suga keeled over and grabbed his sides, his laughter filling the room. the mere sound of his laughter was enough to bring a smile to anyone's face, especially since it was rare to hear these days.

oikawa looked up at his friend and smiled.

it's nice to see him like this. he deserves to be happy. his smile should be considered one of the 7 wonders of the world, honestly.

"you're-you're hilarious trashykawa! god! i love you, tōru, thank you," suga wheezed in between chuckles.

"don't make me regret saying any of that ko-chan!" oikawa replied, lightly smacking suga's shoulder.

"okok geez! i'll stop!" suga exclaimed, rubbing his arm.

"you make me think that i'm just horny and desperate."

"bitch, you are, and honestly i am too."

the two setters shared another laugh, before laying back down on the bed. suga folded his arms over his stomach and stared back up at the ceiling.

"tōru?"

"yes?"

"do you think we'll ever be truly happy soon?" suga asked softly.

"god, i sure fuckin' hope so," oikawa answered, rolling his eyes.

"then you should tell iwa already."

"pffttt! you think i don't know that? i was actually gonna try to sabotage his relationship with kaede, but i finally decided against it because i don't want him to hate me," he explained.

"okay, but when are you going to tell him that you like him?"

"probably never...i'd rather stay friends and suffer than risk ruining our friendship."

"bullshit. you should tell him tōru," suga insisted.

"nope," oikawa replied, popping the p.

"oh c'mon!"

"i refuse."

"fine! you can be single forever for all i care," suga pouted.

"why thank you ko-chan, how kind of you," sarcasm evident in oikawa's voice.

"i can't hear you. i'm asleep, come back during normal operating hours," suga responded, turning over and facing his back to oikawa.

oikawa sighed and remained at suga's side until he actually did fall asleep. careful not to wake him, he got out of the bed and tucked suga in with one of the spare throw blankets that was lying around in the room.

oikawa walked over to suga's desk and decided to write him a note before he left. he picked out a bright purple pen and a sheet of paper.

he scribbled out his message, the pen gliding smoothly across the surface. when he was done, he took the note and a piece of tape and tiptoed out of the room, closing the door slowly to make sure it didn't squeak.

oikawa stepped inside suga's bathroom and taped the paper onto an unfractured section of the mirror, hoping that the next time suga felt like breaking down, he'd read the reminder he left him:

kōshi,

you are NEVER alone and you are NOT a burden.

please call me next time, okay? i will always be here for you.

better days will come, i promise.

~ tōru <3