always...

chapter 24 - bokuaka

akaashi stood inside of his walk-in closet, pulling on a pale yellow hoodie and some faded black jeans, when bokuto came up behind him and reached for his waist.

as soon as akaashi felt a presence behind him, he flinched, not realizing it was his boyfriend.

"kaashi, you're extra on-edge today...are you okay?" bokuto asked gently.

"bad dream last night...i-i'm sorry," he whispered, before turning to his beloved and wrapping his arms around his waist.

"keiji...if you're still having bad dreams and reacting like that every time someone comes near you...i just...i really think you should see a therapist. i know you're against it babe, but you've been like this for years and i think it could help you," bokuto said quietly.

"i don't want help, kōtarō," akaashi insisted.

"why won't you try? a few sessions at least? kaashi, you can't even stand it whenever someone mentions that you're rich because it reminds you of-"

"i don't want to," akaashi cut him off.

"...please? you can't go on like this forever...i care about you keiji, and i think you need this. please? three 1-hour sessions. will you at least try? for me? for yourself?" the ace pleaded.

akaashi thought for a moment, but then zoned out. all of his trauma came rushing back to the surface of his mind.

akaashi's mother owns a modelling agency, which akaashi had worked for since he was a kid. and as he grew older, his looks became increasingly attractive and he became one of his mother's most popular models.

*trigger warning: sexual assault, emotional/physical abuse*

his father had passed away from cancer when akaashi was only 6. when his mother started up her modelling agency a year later, she started dating the main photographer: eiko otsuka.

he didn't know what it was at first because he didn't understand what was happening. but it started when he was 8.

"keiji-kun, come pose for me alright?" eiko asked. akaashi was doing a shoot while his mother was out grocery shopping, but doing shoots alone was normal to him.

akaashi followed eiko's instructions, posing how he was asked. after all, he trusted eiko and he had started looking up to him as a father figure the more time he spent with him.

"no, no, keiji. put this arm here...then stand like this..." eiko placed his hands on the inner part of akaashi's thighs, the young boy looking visibly uncomfortable.

"like this...otsuka-san?"

"not quite...you look like you're trying too hard to pose," eiko answered, as he continued adjusting akaashi's body.

the man groped akaashi's butt and his fingers grazed akaashi's front, to which the boy flinched.

"what's wrong, keiji?" eiko asked.

"that feels weird...could you stop?" he mumbled.

"keiji-kun, i'm just trying to get you in the right pose for the shoot. relax, son," eiko assured him.

it had started with touching, young akaashi being convinced that it was just to get the right pose. but eventually, eiko started being rougher with him as he grew older.

by the time he was 9, eiko had fully handled akaashi's privates to which the young boy objected. however, the loving man he once saw as a father-figure had changed and become short-tempered and violent.

when he was 12, eiko had him do another shoot alone while his mother was meeting with a few fashion companies who were interested in the models from the agency, akaashi included.

akaashi hesitantly followed through with the shoot, only for eiko to drug him.

it wasn't until he woke up 3 hours later, his ass and thighs sore, bruises all along his torso and neck, that he realized what eiko had done.

but when akaashi tried to confront eiko, he was shut down.

before he was even able to get one word out about telling his mom, eiko backhanded him across the face, sending akaashi stumbling to the floor.

"if you breathe one word about this to her, i promise i will personally make sure you suffer and i will break up with her, do you hear me? your mom is finally happy again and she loves me. do you want to see her unhappy again? crying everyday like the pathetic bitch she is?" eiko hissed.

akaashi clutched his face. "i hate you! you deserve to-" he started, before eiko promptly kicked him in the stomach.

"try talking one more time and we'll see what happens next," eiko retorted, his tone deadly and final.

it went on like this until akaashi was 15. by that time, he had been repeatedly beaten bloody and used by eiko. he had been manipulated and threatened into silence and submission.

when he started high school, he met bokuto. it didn't take them long to get together as they both instantly took a liking to the other. in fact, bokuto was the first and only person that akaashi opened up to about his situation. and it was bokuto who convinced akaashi to finally quit his mother's agency to get away from eiko without telling his mom anything.

but quitting the agency had its drawbacks too. as soon as eiko heard that akaashi was done, he made up some bullshit excuse about moving across the country and dumped his mother, leaving her heartbroken yet again.

akaashi was finally free from the monster that had broken him, but his freedom had a price.

eiko stayed true to his promise of making him suffer. seeing his mother crying everyday just like after his father died was enough to make him regret ever quitting at all. at that point, it was too late to change anything.

akaashi hates being reminded of his wealth because it all came from his mother's successful agency. and all of that success stemmed from the "brilliant photographer, eiko otsuka" otherwise known to akaashi as the monster responsible for both his and his mother's suffering.

"keiji? please? will you please try?" bokuto interrupted akaashi's painful memories.

"i-i'm sorry...everything just...came back...i zoned out...i'm sorry-"

"kaashi, you don't have to apologize for anything, okay?" bokuto said, his voice soft.

"okay...and yes. i-i'll give therapy a try...but only for you," akaashi murmured.

"thank you, keiji. i love you...don't forget, it's you and me, remember?"

"you and me against the world."