always...

chapter 77 - bokuaka

bokuto and akaashi had finally arrived back at the penthouse after several hours on the train back to tokyo from miyagi.

the two of them were both exhausted as they wordlessly dragged themselves up the stairs and into their separate adjacent bedrooms.

the couple had the same idea as they each decided to shower first before bed in their own respective bathrooms.

akaashi turned on the faucet in his shower, hearing the muffled water running in bokuto's bathroom as well.

why can't we just shower together like before?

the second year setter stepped under the hot water, his expression blank and pale as he thought back to the last couple of weeks.

bokuto had stopped sleeping over in akaashi's room ever since the night semi had kissed him.

they still ate together and went to school and practice together, but they usually remained silent with their only conversations being about what time bokuto would be home from seventh heaven whenever he had shifts.

akaashi knew that things were still tense between them even after they talked and apologized about their own respective mistakes.

but frankly, akaashi was frustrated and lonely.

he missed bokuto's warmth next to him as he slept and he missed talking and joking around with him. he missed bokuto's energy and comfort and he missed how close they were before.

it felt like they were growing apart, like there was a rift between them; a deep, dark chasm of tension and mistrust created by a simple lie and an emotional mistake.

akaashi rested his head against the tile wall, his wet hair dripping down his forehead. he slammed his fist against the cool surface, letting out a short yell of anger.

he heard the slight squeak of bokuto's faucet next door followed by bokuto's heavy footsteps.

akaashi finished up his shower as well and changed into one of bokuto's old t-shirts and a pair of boxers.

wearing bokuto's clothes to bed had become a habit of his ever since bokuto started sleeping in his own room because having his boyfriend's scent close helped him sleep just a little bit better.

slowly, akaashi trudged towards his bed and laid down, leaning over briefly to switch his lamp off.

he laid there for a few moments, turning his head to the side and reaching across to the unfamiliar empty space beside him.

when will you forgive me? when will we really forgive each other?

tears formed in the corners of akaashi's deep turquoise eyes, gently rolling down his cheek and onto his pillow.

goddamn it...

before he knew it, akaashi had gotten out of bed and made his way to bokuto's doorway.

the ace had his back to the entry and the lights were already off. bokuto's usual spiked up hair laid flat on top of his pillow, still a bit damp from his shower.

he's asleep...i shouldn't bother...

akaashi hummed for a moment before turning on his heel.

"keiji...i know you're standing there," bokuto half-whispered, turning his head to give akaashi a sideways glance.

"oh...um...i-i'm sorry. i'll just go to bed," akaashi stammered as he stared at the floor.

"keiji...just come here," bokuto mumbled softly.

akaashi was taken aback for a moment, but listened to bokuto's instruction. the dark haired teen went over to the side of bokuto's bed and sat down on the edge.

bokuto turned around to face him, his hand reaching up to touch akaashi's cheek.

"lay down," bokuto murmured, patting the empty space on the mattress.

akaashi complied, pulling the covers over his body as he set his head on the pillow and met bokuto's gaze.

the third year's golden eyes were bright enough to pierce the looming darkness of the bedroom, drawing in akaashi's full attention.

bokuto brought his hand up to move a stray strand of the setter's dark locks away from his face, his thumb lightly brushing akaashi's forehead.

"i'm sorry," akaashi muttered, his voice beginning to shake as his eyes watered yet again.

"for what?"

"you know what..."

"kissing semi? 'kaashi, we talked about it already didn't we? you don't have to apologize anymore," bokuto assured him.

"b-but...we've been so distant and i feel like it's all my fault," akaashi quivered.

"i know...i was upset, just as much as you were because i didn't tell you the truth about my job."

bokuto stroked akaashi's hair, trying to calm down his quiet sobs.

"i miss you kōtarō," akaashi sighed, "i don't want us to be like this anymore."

"i miss you too...i'm sorry for lying to you for so long."

"i'm sorry for overreacting and being reckless."

"i thought i told you that you didn't need to say sorry," bokuto reminded.

"yes, but you were apologizing too and i-i still feel b-bad," akaashi stuttered in between cries.

"hey...hey...shhh..." bokuto pulled akaashi into his chest, rubbing circles into his back as akaashi continued crying into the ace's broad shoulders.

"i just want us to go back to normal," akaashi shuddered, hugging bokuto tighter.

"shhh...we will. i promise," bokuto pulled away for a moment trying to meet akaashi's eyes.

bokuto wiped away a tear from akaashi's cheek, still trying to calm him.

"it's you and me against the world, remember?"

akaashi nodded.

"stay with me tonight, okay?" bokuto asked softly.

"okay," akaashi sniffled, turning his back to bokuto as the ace wrapped his arms around his waist.

"i love you keiji, that will never change."

"i love you too."