always...

chapter 79 - oikawa

"it's off! oikawa, cover!!"

oikawa ran under the ball to set it to iwaizumi who had already started his approach.

damn it, my finger slipped.

iwaizumi spiked the ball down on the other side of the court, however it landed just outside the back line.

"that's my bad!" oikawa cringed.

iwaizumi cursed under his breath and shot oikawa a nasty glare.

so he's still ignoring me...guess suga's approach didn't work.

practice continued like this for the umpteenth time in the past few weeks ever since iwaizumi walked in on oikawa and suga at the wrong time.

iwaizumi barely even looked at oikawa and the only time he said anything to him was when he was checking who would open the gym the next day.

oikawa was sick of it.

i've given him enough space, haven't i? maybe letting suga talk to him wasn't a good idea.

oikawa made a mental note to never let suga handle his problems ever again and then decided to end practice an hour early.

"guys! wrap it up! i'm ending practice early. we're just not working well today and i think we need a break," the setter announced.

"you sure it's not because of other reasons," hanamaki commented, earning a shove in the shoulder from matsukawa.

oikawa shot them both a look that could kill before they backed off and went to help shag the balls.

so the tension between us is that obvious, huh?

"first years get to mop the floors today! get to it!" oikawa ordered.

oikawa watched over his teammates as they cleaned up the gym while he packed his stuff into his bag. he scanned the room looking for iwaizumi before his eyes landed on him changing shoes by the gym door.

i need to talk to him.

the captain shoved the rest of his gear into his bag and slung it over his shoulder before rushing to the door to get to iwaizumi before he left.

"iwa, wait up!" oikawa shouted.

"what?" iwaizumi spat.

"i need to talk to y-"

"i have nothing to say to you."

iwaizumi turned away and stepped through the doorway as oikawa grabbed his wrist.

"let go," iwaizumi yanked his arm from oikawa's grip.

"iwa, i-i just...i'm...nevermind...i just wanted to check if you were opening the gym tomorrow or if it's my turn," oikawa panicked.

"it's your turn. goodbye," iwaizumi answered flatly, his tone cold and final.

iwaizumi walked away from the gym leaving oikawa standing there in the doorway. the setter let out a frustrated groan and slammed his fist on the wall.

"someone seems pissed," hanamaki jabbed.

"shut it," oikawa hissed.

how am i still such a coward?

pathetic.

oikawa slammed the door shut and walked to his car. he stepped in the vehicle and drove off, speeding all the way home.

he entered the house and made a beeline straight to his room, shutting the door behind him.

he jumped on his bed and screamed into his pillow, cursing himself out for ruining every opportunity he had to make things right with iwaizumi.

there was a gentle knock on the door followed by the slow creak of its rusty hinges.

"tōru? are you okay?" his mother asked gently.

oikawa turned over in his bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"i'm fine...just frustrated. sorry i didn't say hi, i didn't realize that you and mom were home," he mumbled.

"we got back a few hours ago while you were at school," she answered, "are you sure nothing's wrong?"

"just...a misunderstanding with hajime...i don't really want to talk about it."

"alright...we're always down the hall if you need us," she answered, shutting the door softly behind her.

oikawa sighed and turned on his side to face the wall, his eyes focusing on the picture frame that sat on one of his shelves.

he stood up from his bed and walked towards the shelf. he picked up the photo and traced his finger around the frame, reminiscing of the easier days when him and iwaizumi were just kids.

when they were still...just friends.

when oikawa hadn't fallen in love with him.

oikawa blinked a few times, not realizing that tears had formed in the corners of his eyes. he watched as the droplets fell from his face, forming a tiny puddle on the glass of the picture frame.

the brunet reached up and wiped the tears from his face, scoffing at his sudden vulnerability.

it's your fault.

you had so many chances to fix this and yet here you are...

crying over your own cowardice...

pathetic.

"aaaggghhhh!!" oikawa angrily threw the picture frame to the floor, the glass shattering and covering the photo with tiny sparkling shards.

shit...what have i done??

oikawa quickly knelt down and tried to clean up the broken glass, wincing as the pieces left small cuts on his fingers.

his tears fell faster now, streaming down his cheeks and dripping onto the now, exposed picture. he picked up the photo from underneath the glass, leaning back onto his heels.

he wiped the droplets from the image, trying to stop his own tears from falling onto the picture, but to no avail.

"i'm sorry hajime..."

how will i ever clean up this mess?