"it's your fault! it's always been your fucking fault!!" she screamed, throwing a plate at his head. "you're the reason why he left us two years ago! you're worthless!"
the third year ducked, trying to avoid getting hit in the head, but still ended up with two small cuts on his jaw from the broken shards of glass.
great. more scars to make up excuses for...
"he left us because he's a useless, homophobic drunk! it's not my fault, and it never has been!" he yelled back.
"you know what?! i never cared about your sexuality!! you can fuck whoever you want for all i care, but why couldn't you just act straight until you went off to college?! do you expect me to pay for all your expenses by myself without help? god! you are so inconsiderate!"
the teen trembled ever so slightly, trying not to show his fear and weakness to his mother. even though he always tried to defend himself, she always found a way to put all of the blame on him.
"i don't even know why i put up with you anymore! you're never home anyway and when you are, all you do is start shit with me!" she shouted.
"i hate being here anyway! all you do is sob and complain like a little bitch about how you wish he stayed and that i should have been the one who left instead," he retorted.
she paused, shocked at her son's disrespectful words.
"how DARE you insult me! you have no right to talk to me like that you fucking fag! he wouldn't have left us if you weren't such a man-loving whore."
it took all the strength he had not to burst into tears right then and there. his relationship with his mom hadn't always been like this. in fact, he had quite a normal childhood with two loving parents who gave him the world.
it wasn't until he came out to them that his father showed his true colors. he hated that his son was gay. in his mind, it wasn't right and he refused to accept him. at first it was snarky comments, but eventually it turned into verbal abuse and full on slurs.
his father would drink almost every night, and after he did, he'd always throw the glass at his son's head, the jagged shards leaving small cuts all over his cheek and jaw, and spewing every foul word he could think of.
his mother never defended him. she loved her husband and would side with him always, and frankly, she blamed her son for being the reason of why her husband left them.
he couldn't stand living in the same house as someone he considered a sorry excuse of a son, and one night he packed up his things and left without a trace, leaving his wife heartbroken and angry.
two years later, and she still blames him and his sexuality for being the reason why their lives had gone down the gutter.
more and more bills piled up every week. eviction warnings. late bank statements.
"i'm leaving," he finally muttered, his eyes glossed over with tears.
"hah! you'll be back tomorrow like always. you know you can't live without me to pay for your school and for volleyball, let alone everything else," she retorted.
"no. i'm done. i'm leaving, permanently. i'm done with your bullshit," he replied, a certain finality to his tone.
"fine. good riddance," she muttered.
the boy quickly ran upstairs to his room and stuffed as many of his clothes into a duffle bag as he could along with anything else of importance.
tears slowly dripping down his face, he grabbed a few more essentials from his bathroom and tossed them into his bag before pausing in front of his reflection in the mirror.
it's not your fault. it never has been. it's not your fault. it's not your fault...you need to get away from her.
he shut the lights off and took one more glance at his room, making sure not to forget anything because he wasn't ever planning on coming back. finally, he turned and slammed the door shut before racing down the stairs and immediately out the door without a word to his mom.
he ran down the road through the dark, the soft glow of the streetlights marking his path. he turned the corner and stopped at the crosswalk before collapsing to his knees.
i'm free...i did it...i got out...
at long last, he let his tears flow freely as he choked out several sobs. he sat back on his heels and rested his head against his thighs, finally allowing himself to release all of the agony that had built up over the last two years.
he looked up at the night sky and let out a heart-wrenching cry, his voice breaking slightly.
i can finally be free...
he got back up to his feet and pulled out his phone to look up walking directions to what hopefully would be his new home.
this will work out...right? he loves me...this will work...
the cool nighttime city air blew harshly in his face as he made his way through the streets under the stars. the only sounds were his own uneven breathing and the occasional car speeding by. after 20 minutes of walking, he finally spotted his destination just two blocks from him.
the tall glass building reflected all the city lights creating the effect of a mirror. the top floor was the only one with the lights still on.
he took a deep breath before continuing on towards the building, his duffle bag slung over his shoulder and high hopes in his heart.
please god...please let him save me from my suffering. please...
