Rose & Dagger//Harry Styles Fanfic

Chapter 38.

Rowyn's pov:

"Are you okay?" I ask him.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Everything is fine." He rushes out.

"It doesn't seem like it." I try to be soft with my words hoping it might calm him down.

"Because it isn't!" He bursts, yanking his fingers into his hair. He slides down to the ground against the wall.

I quietly sit down besides him pulling his fingers out from the tangles of his hair. Brushing them with my own. "I promise it's going to be okay."

"I don't believe in promises." He sniffs harshly trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

"And I don't believe in love." I whisper under my breath. Apparently he heard me because he looked up slowly.

"You don't mean that. How could anyone love a monster like me."

"That I don't know. God I'm so stupid but I can't help falling for you there's something pulling me towards you but what I do know is you're not a monster." I explain to him.

"Yes I am. You don't know half of the things I've done."

"I know enough." It's true I know enough yet I'm still here.

"No you don't. You don't know half of my story."

"So tell me." I urge him on. If he thinks he can scare me away he can't.

"If I did you wouldn't look at me the same. The things I've done."

"I know enough to know you'd never hurt me."

"I could....hurt you though."

"But you wouldn't." I say grabbing his hand and squeezing it. He wouldn't ever hurt me purposely...right?

"You don't know for sure. Neither do I. I could slip up and forget to take my meds, they could stop working. The point is you don't know."

"What meds?" I try to get him to tell me more even if I already know the half of it.

"My bipolar meds and my anger meds."

"Oh..." I trail off. I've already heard the bipolar meds before but not the anger meds, this must be new.

"I have to take them everyday. There's been a couple of times I've forgotten and people have had to pay the price for my mistakes. Even if they didn't deserve it."

"I'm sorry Harry." He's done things, I know but that doesn't mean he's a monster. It means he was programmed to be this way. Everything he's suffered adding up to push him over the edge. He's had to suffer a lot on top the the bipolar and anger issues. It's no surprise he's here now.

"You shouldn't be sorry. I've done awful things this is my way of paying for it."

"It doesn't mean you deserve it though." I try to convince him. It doesn't seem to be working. He's still in the same position his knees up to his chest with his arms wrapped around them his head buried in his knees.

"I do. You know my life wasn't the easiest life, it wasn't the happiest life, it wasn't even the best life but it was my life so I was okay with it but you, you make my life so much better. Ever since you've got here even if I don't show it." He looks up from his knees but avoids eye contact with me.

"I know you mean good Harry. Even if you don't show it or don't even know how to and that's okay. We can work it out together if you'd just let me help."

"I don't know how to ask for help." He admits finally making eye contact with me. His blurry green eyes staring into mine.

"You don't need to. I know you need it." I sympathize for him.

"Thank you."

"You didn't seem to respond so much earlier and I just wanted to say that you don't have to love me." It's true he doesn't but I needed him to know my feelings.

"That's the problem, I do love you. I shouldn't I'm bad news for you. You could get hurt because of me or worse I could hurt you myself."

I tried to hold back a smile once he said he loved me. "Then we can get out of here just you and me. Start over somewhere safe and sound away from all of this where no one would ever find us."

With tears running down his face he laughed "I can't we have to finish what I already started besides I have enemy's all over the world baby. There's no where safe for me and as long as we are together there's none for you either so it's best if we don't start anything together because it won't work out the way you want it too."

"What we have, it's not love. Not romantic love anyways. It's comfort."

"Well whatever you want to call it it's not going to work." He stays harsh on the answer not letting up. He deserves better. I want to take him away from all the bad things. Shelter him in a safe place.

"Is this what you do? You think it's so hard for someone to genuinely like you or even love you so you push them away because you think you don't deserve that person? You try so hard to imprison yourself in your own mind that you don't even care how it affects other people." He seems to do this every time he opens up. He immediately puts his guard back up after like it had never happened in the first place.

"Yeah it is what I do. I've done it most of my life. Do you expect me to just stop because it's you?"

"No, but I expect you to try, Harry. Come on it's just me let me in. Please." I beg him to open back up.

"I already did. Much more than I have let anyone else in a long time."

"Okay, fine. We can deal with this later. You need some rest, we both do." I guess this will die for now. Until then we are both exhausted and I have no more energy in me to argue anymore with him right now.

"Thank you. For being here for me I mean. I'm trying, I really am trying even if it doesn't seem like I am. I'm stubborn I'll admit it but I do care. I just don't know how to show it. I've been bottling up my feelings for years so I don't know how to express them right."

"Yeah, I know but it's okay. I'll reach you." I say and he chuckles slowly undoing his arms from his knees. I hold out my hand to help him up. He gives a small smile and I speak again. "Come on. I'll walk you to your room."

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Hope you enjoy vulnerable Harry but don't enjoy him to much because vulnerable Harry doesn't come out often.
I enjoy writing vulnerable Harry but I enjoy writing bad boy Harry even more sorry not sorry xx