Into My Own League

Chapter 42 (Max)Maximum Confusion)

I wake up to a banging on my door . I get up a little scared to see who it could be . When I open it is the most scariest and yet the most sweetest person I know it is my mom .

" Max why didn't you go to school ?" She asks

It had been a few days since all that went on with Mia . I really just needed time to think . I have been trying to Protect her and yet some how she still got her and that is something that will stay with her .

" I just didn't feel like it ." I rudely say

She crosses her arms and gives me a look and I know a lecture is coming on .

" You can't just not go to school because you don't feel like it , I know you are not sick , so you should have went ." She yells

I sit on my couch and rub my knees .Then I say

" Mom please I will go tomorrow."

The look on her face is worry and I don't know why , she could not know what is going on with me .

" Max tell me what is going on ." She demands

But I stay silent . I hate to see concern in her eyes but I don't want to lie to her and I can't tell her the truth .

She sits down beside me . She puts her hand on mine .and says

" I know something that will cheer you up your car is ready I was going to pick it up "

As much as I want my car , it don't help with this sadness this emptyness .

" Come on let's go pick it up " she begs

I can't refuse I can tell she is worried .

She keeps trying to make small talk but I can't participate I know I should my mind just ain't letting me . I am not even comprehending what she is saying .

" Max is someone bullied you ?" She asks

I heard that one I can also hear the worry in her voice .

" No mom" I answer

I can't believe she would think that , I can hold my own .

" This pain is self afflicted." I state

She pulls over . And turns off the engine . And says we are not moving until you tell me what is going on .

" It is nothing I am fine " I yell

" There is something going on I know you this is not you actually you have not been like yourself since you got back from the summer , I didn't even know You and Mia had broke up ." She says

And that is it at the mention of her name I start to cry . I am talking head in my hands crying , my mother is in utter shock and so am I .

" Please Max just tell me ." She begs

" Mom I didn't mean to hurt her . I love her and since I love her I had to let her go because I am bad for her I would have somehow ruined her , but then she got hurt anyway . I was miserable this whole time and still am but she still got hurt and I just don't know ." I say all while crying .

I can tell my mother don't understand so I explain everything how I thought Vicky had my baby , How I went to dad and he told me this kind of stuff would always happen and how I needed to break up with Mia . And I told her about all the books my father had me read on how bad boys ruin good girls then I get to Mr. Mathis assault and how my sweet Mia got her hurt and I couldn't help .

I can tell my mother worry has faded into anger .

" Listen to me " my mother says and holds my face in her hands , and says

" You did all you could . You actually fixed it . He will not be around her any longer I personally think the jerk should have went to jail but I see Mia's point of view not wanting to go threw court . And as far as you not being good enough that is it not true . You have the best heart . And your father shouldn't had told you that but you know why he did it because she is a distraction he did it for your baseball career ." She say

I know she is right on some level I thought it my own self . But I didn't want to take a chance and ruin Mia's life .

" I guess that is why ." I say

" Max you was happy when you was with her ." My mom says and she is right

" And she could go on and be with someone but she couldn't be with anyone better than you . And you and her deserve to be happy and I think if she had a choice she would chose you . And really look at how far you have come I mean you cried over a girl . " she says and we both laugh

My mother is right and I have not so much as looked at another girl since Mia been in the picture . Maybe I could handle it .

" Do you think I have changed ?" I ask my mom

" I know you have ." She answers with a smile

" I just don't want to hurt her ." I say

" Is there anyone else who could love her more ?" She asks

No there is not , I know there is a lot of guys better than me , but they way I love her I don't think anyone can .

" No " I say after coming to that realization

My mother smiles and then hits the steering wheel . And then says

" Your father was so out of line for putting this in your head ."

" Mom please don't be too mad at dad I don't want you all to divorce ." I plead

" We are not going to divorce but I will tell him he is wrong , I tell you what I will go easy on your father if you explain everything to Mia and tell her your feelings . " she says

I am scared of the thought but I kind of have to .

I pull up to the school and wait for Mis who don't know I am here to pick her up I called her mother and begged her to let me . It feels nice to be back in my car . It is now 15 mins after school lets out but I know the principal called her in to tell her about Mr. Mathis leaving . I am so nervous I know this could go either way she could be over me I mean expect for what happened New Years , she been cold toward me she might have moved on . Or she could think what I did was a chicken way out . But it was because I care so much about her . I see her walk out . She looks helpless , her hair is stringy , her complexionis white she is still beautiful but just weak looking . She looks around I guess she looking for her mom , I toot the horn , she see me and looks surprised , but she walks toward me . My nervous is jumping but I have to find out .!!!!!!