Into My Own League

Chapter 38 (Long December)

/////////////////////////////////////Mia ////////////////////

The weather has gotten colder . I am trying to get pass what I did at the indoor party , I walked away , I didn't want to it was hard , but I had to have self respect . For so long I feel low on myself because he would make out with me then he would tell me He used me to sleep with me , but he would hook up with me . So I focussed on my school work . I still helped Mr. Mathis even more so because I was trying to not think of Max . Max text me a few times and 3 days after the indoor party he walked over to me .

" Can I talk to you ? He asks

" I have to go on a errand for Mr. Mathis . " I say and leave him looking like a lost puppy dog .

I was going to run a errand for Mr. Mathis but I could have easily talked to him , I had time . But I need to break away from all the stupid drama he don't want me not really he used me and now I don't what is real . I guess he is fake . I never thought he was . Even years ago I thought he was real Raw player boy . On December 15 Bethany had her baby he is cute , she named him ( Xander ) I spent a lot of time with them and I am very fond of that little boy . I had a nice family Christmas , I love seeing Lee and Kylie together , but I am lonely . But I know it is better be alone right now I am not going to hook up with someone who I don't like again . The rest of the month is me trying to figure out what it is I want .

//////////////////////////Max//////////////////

I am literary hurting from the fact that Mia turned me down . Not at 1 st but she did and it was something very different about her . I don't blame her I really have been putting her threw it not meaning to but I have . I want her to have a happy life and I am very scared her being with me in the long run will caused her to be unhappy and will hurt from even trusting a man in future . I could not stand it if I somehow made this sweet beautiful girl into a bitter woman . I broke down and texted her a few time she never replied . All I said was what u doing . My plan was to apologize and tell her she is amazing and I could never be good enough for her . Finally I got the courage up to walk over and talk to her . She would not she gave me a lame excuse and left like there was a fire . I feel so sad and lost . I continue playing baseball and somehow get better . My dad has watched me play is thrilled with my performance . I went to a few partys I never seen Mia At one . Michelle tried to hook up with me at one . But I wouldn't . Pier was there and he could not believe it . I know of this was before Mia I would have , but I had no interest in her what so ever . My Christmas was spent with my family and it was lovely . Another than school and baseball and a few partys I spent most of my time at our place without Mia of course . I would feel closer to her when I was there almost like we did happen . Because babe don't even look at me anymore it feels like it was not real . I feel like I am be depressed at least a little bit . Tomorrow is New years eve but I am not going out it don't make me feel happy if anything I feel even Bader . I am just going to our place with take out and maybe read a bit . !!!!!!!!!!!!

////////////////////Pier /////////////

I still go around Casey and Shyanne , it is not as hard as I thought it would be . I have to accept she loves him . I think about how Max and Mia were did she love me and just attracted to him . But it couldn't be cuz she broke up with me . It really is not worth thinking of . Hillston and me hook up with different girls on the weekends . I don't want to be the disgusting player I had turned into I realize I was not happy like that either but I am a man so I still do it but I have myself a rule not on school nights . I would like to find love but that seems even further away .I am busy with school my art all of the classes . So really no time for love I suppose. I go back home from the holiday I spend most of the time with my Family . I meet Mia for coffee once and we caught up . I went to a party with Max and it felt like nothing changed girls still throwing thier selves at Max but he has changed he wouldn't touch them . I seen Liv she seems over me , and I am glad she deserves to find some one who wants her . Hillston flew out here for New Year's Eve so tonight I am taking him out and hopefully we will have fun .!!!!!!!