Can We Fall, One More Time?

Chapter 27: Dream

Tomorrow will be the day and here I am at Lucas place. Sumobra na yata talaga ako sa kabobohan at ako na ang pumunta sa kanya but I need him, masyado akong kinakabahan.

"I'm really nervous, how can I perform?" Naka hakbay siya sa akin habang yakap ko ang bewang niya. I love it here.

He put his palm on top of my head. "The first time you walk on stage, didn't you felt nervous?" he asked. Bumaba ang tingin niya sa akin galing sa TV.

"I felt like dying, it was almost impossible for me to get in there." Ngumiti siya habang nilalaro ang buhok ko.

"But you did it." hinalikan niya ako sa noo bago ibalik ang tingin niya sa akin. "And I'm sure you'll do good tomorrow. Ikaw pa?"

"Manunuod ka?" I asked. Ayaw kong sabihin sa kanyang pumunta siya para manood because it will be risky, gusto ko lang malaman kung interesado siya. "But if you're not going, okay lang. Naiintindihan ko naman." tinitignan niya lang ako.

"I will." He said. I notice hesitation when he gulps and blink his eyes countless times.

Sa ilang ulit na pag si sinungaling niya sakin, kabisado ko narin kung kailan siya hindi nagsasabi ng totoo. That's how he act exactly when lying or hesitant but i chose to ignore it again.

Nakatitig lang siya sakin habang hinahaplos ang mukha ko, parang ka kawala ang puso ko kaya kakalas sana ako sa pagkaka yakap pero bago ko pa man magawa yon, he claimed my lips. Agad na gumalaw ang labi niya and I respond to his kisses.

I sigh when we're about to enter the stage. A lot of local big bands are here and we're the last group to perform. We're excused from our school and the principal even said that it would be nice if we would bring the name of the school with us but we decided not to. We don't wanna drag down the school with us if we fucked up.

"Here," Inabot sa akin ni asher ang stress ball but instead of getting it, hinila ko ang magkabilang kamay niya dahilan ng pagkalaglag ng bola.

"Kaya natin to diba?" tanong ko sa kanya. I want to see courage in them, sa ganun na paraan ay kumakalma ako.

"Of Course we can. Ilang beses na ba tayong umakyat sa iba't ibang stage at kinakabahan ka? But you still did great, i'm a hundred one perfect sure that you'll do good."

Asher knows how to calm me down, we've been competing together and I could say that with him, mas lumalakas ang loob ko.

"Come here." Narinig kong sabi ni Ethan.

He is standing beside me, offering me a hug with a warm smile on his face. Ngumiti ako at niyakap siya. A few minutes later, naramdaman ko na sumali na rin ang iba.

We stayed together, holding each other's hand until we heard the MC mention our band.

There are a lot of students. Pag akyat namin ay umupo na agad si Ethan at enzo sa pwesto nila while the others wear their guitars. I smile at the crowd while Asher is trying to communicate. Kit will do better, he knows how to flirt but we prefer it this way, we want them to love the band because of our music, not because of sugar coated words.

I should have focus and enjoy this morning but I am stupid, because my eyes look for him. Alam kong hindi siya pupunta, bakit ko ba siya hinanap.

I tried smiling brightly despite the disappointment, I already expected na hindi siya pupunta pero ang bigat pa rin.

I gather myself, I need to focus.

Kailangan kong ibigay ang best ko, this is our first, but it could also be our last. I have no doubt with the band I am in, they are good on their own.

I look at Ethan when he started counting using his drumstick, it is our cue. Napansin niya na nakatingin ako sa kanya kaya ngumiti siya. Everyone are nervous and yet they look well.

Nagulat ako nang hawakan ni Asher ang kamay ko. Maybe he felt it, that I am starting to get scared of what's in front of me. Ni ayaw kong tumingin sa harapan.

We are the last performers, and just like our band name, we must make them feel calm before they go back to their room.

We're just going to perform three songs, I can do it. I won't disappoint anyone, not even myself.

I look at the crowd, it's not that bad, they all have smiles on their faces.

Napa pikit ako pagbalik namin sa backstage. That is just 3 songs, kami na nga ang pinaka mabilis na nag perform pero feeling ko naubos ang energy ko for the whole day.

Kit, sky, Asher and Enzo are now talking to the other bands they admire so much, para pa rin akong nananaginip. I don't know how we made it here, I don't even think I deserve to be here.

Ethan run to me and with his arms wide open. Tumayo ako para salubungin siya. He hug me tight.

"You did so well, I love you." I can feel that he is happy, they all want this, we all love what we are doing.

"I love you too." I responded.

He hugged me for a minute. If this is a dream, It will be a big disappointment. I can feel the happiness on Ethan's hug and in front of me are the boys who have a big smile on their faces talking to the people they look up to.

They said we can have whatever we want given the background we have. We can ask someone to give us songs to sing, we can use our connections to rise up to the top. Sabi pa nila hindi na namin kailangang magpaka hirap dahil pwedi naman kaming mag pakasaya sa mundo hanggat gusto namin but the thing is, we don't want that. What we have is a dream, a dream that makes us happy. We consider using connection as cheating. At magpaka hirap? We want that, because that's the payment of achieving what makes us sincerely happy.

We don't care about the money, we don't care about the opportunity we could have if we decided to use our background.

Actually, my parents don't support this dream I have.

Basta ang alam lang namin, we love creating music, we love performing, kahit pa kami pa lang noon ang nakaka panuod sa isa't isa, masaya na kami.

Yeah, this will be hard, but it's our dream, not an obligation so it will be worth it.