Can We Fall, One More Time?

Chapter 36: We just need to exist

Ethan POV

I shut my eyes when someone knocks on the door.

"Masakit ang ulo ko, just eat whatever you want there." I said.

Akala ko aalis na kung sino man ang kumatok nang biglang bumukas ang pinto.

"Just eat wh-" pag harap ko sa pinto ay nakita ko si Allison na nakatayo roon, "Allison..."

"Hindi ka lalabas o mag st-stay ako dito?" I sigh as I stand to sit. Umupo din naman si Allison sa gilid ng kama.

"I am just busy thinking, hindi ko alam kung ano ang tamang gawin," I said.

"So it's not because you're not feeling well but it's because you're here, sinasarili ang problema. Para ano pa't mag ka kaibigan tayo." she said, umiwas naman ako ng tingin.

"You have a problem on your own, da dagdag pa ba ako?" tanong ko.

I hate being transparent but when it comes to her, sinasabi ko lang lahat ng iniisip ko. God, if it is not her, kawawa naman yung future girlfriend ko. But if it is not her, will it be possible for me to fall in love with another? I don't think so.

"kahit gaano pa ka babaw yan if it is bringing you down then it is a big deal. Let's solve each other's problem together, tayo lang ang sama sama, sino pa ba ang magtutulungan diba?"

Tinignan ko lang siya, trying to analyze her expression. She has such beautiful words as if she's taking everything positively but her eyes say otherwise, they still look lost.

"How are you?" I asked, ngumiti naman siya bago napa iling.

"Typical Ethan who will always think about me before himself. Tell me your problems then I'll tell you everything that is one my mind, yes?" Ngumiti din ako bago tumango.

"Inom later, just the two of us, g?" mukha namang nagulat siya sa sinabi ko.

"Wow, inaaya mo akong uminom sure yan? Di ako tatanggi!" She said, '' I know we both need this, I don't know if she needs me but I need her.

"I'll take care of you, don't you worry," I pat her head assuring her that she will be fine.

"Paano yung promise niyo na di kayo i inom ng kasama ako? alam ko yon. Ang oa niyo nga e."

Though we know that we will bring her no harm, it's still a promise.

"Hindi ko rin alam. Guess I'll be breaking some rule?" Huminga ako ng malalim, "I know I need to open up but I don't think I can open it up to anyone else but you."

"Let's not tell them for now then. I understand why you made some rules but I trust all of you. Basta promise, later ha? Di mo ko goghost ha?" umiling ako,definitely won't do that.

"It's me who needs it, you're permission is more important. Wag mag babago ang isip mo ha?"

Allison is not the type of person to break her promises, pero gusto ko lang makasigurado, I can't afford another sadness just because she wasn't able to make it. It's nobody fault when that happens but it will hurt my feelings pero wala akong masisisi kaya nakakainis talaga.

"I definitely won't change my mind."

I was taking a shower when my phone rang. Pinatay ko muna ang shower at inabot ito, it's Allison.

"Papunta na ko," I said. Medyo mahapdi pa ang Mata ko dahil may konting sabon pa na natira sa mukha ko.

(ahm, Ethan...) I was waiting for her to say something but she paused.