Can We Fall, One More Time?

chapter 38: Tangled

Today I am going to Zambales with Chloe, the place where I took Allison hoping that a 3 days of stay in that place will do something to our relationship.

To have this 3 days break, I vandalized my chair and there I got the suspension.

"Lucas, may problema ba?" Nagulat ako ng tanungin niya yon. May problema ba? hindi ko rin alam, hindi ko lang maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko. There is something inside me that wants peace, something inside me that wants reform.

"Just assure me that we could make it work, kaya natin diba?" I need to hear it from her, gusto kong marinig na hanggang huli nandito siya. Dahil kung hindi siya, wala naman ng mananatili sa akin. She is the only one I am sure won't leave me. With her, I know I won't be in great pain of being left behind again.

"These days, I don't know what's on your mind."

Hindi ko alam, hindi ko rin maintindihan. I am not familiar to this feeling. Itong nararamdaman kong to para akong lumulubog habang unti unting nauubos. I want something but i don't know what. Para akong nawalan, para akong ninikawan ng isang bagay na sobrang importante sa akin.

When you are the one who let goof something, it shouldn't feel this way, right?

I was so occupied to the point na hindi ko napansin na nag ring na pala ang phone ko at ngayon, may kausap na dito si Chloe.

I looked at her when she gave me back my phone.

"Sino yon?" I asked.

"Allison." She said that it caused me to look at my phone, it's really her. How come?

"Anong sabi?"

"The teacher asked her to remind you about all the projects you haven't passed yet," I nod my head, "But how come she still has your number at naka save pa ang number niya sayo? I thought you're done with her? aren't you supposed to delete her contact? tsaka nag palit ka na ng number diba?"

"I did pero kaklase ko siya,"

"President ba siya?"

"Nope,"

"Then tell the president to be the one to remind you about everything!"

Napakunot ako ng noo sa inakto niya, "Are you jealous?" She just shook her head, she didn't mind looking at me.

"You became strange. Hindi ikaw yan lucas. After you're done with someone you cut them off and if not, sinasabi mo agad sakin." She said,

"I'm tired of changing right after chloe, naguguluhan na ako, parang hindi ko na kilala ang sarili ko."

After I said that, parehas na kaming tumahimik, wala ng nag salita. It's true that I always change numbers after I play with someone, then show them the side they never see while I am with them to scare them away pero the last time I changed my number parang bigla nalang akong napagod. Changing attitude is not as easy as changing cloth but that is what I made it look like. I never treated anyone the same, iba iba, dipende sa tingin ko ay magugustuhan nila at sa kung paanong paraan ko sila makukuha.

But Allison is in a different situation, she is like a dream that I was able to make into reality...

When we arrived to the place, she was quick to take a rest habang ako ay ibinababa ang mga gamit namin. I sigh when i look at her sleeping, I wanna walk so I did it on my own.

My mind is blank and yet something is messing with my head. parang wala pero ang gulo.

Nang palubog na ang araw, i asked chloe to watch it with me pero tumanggi siya, saying that it's boring.