In a month dapat aalis na ako but I asked my brother for extension dahil kung duon ako mag aaral, panigurading matatagalan bago ko ulit makita ang mga kaibigan ko.
I was also informed that the band is on hiatus too, hindi daw kasi kumpleto ang banda kung wala ako. But I already told them about my plan and I also said sorry to them, kahit naman ayaw nila akong pakawalan, kailangan. I don't think I can still grow in this field but they can.
Ayaw ko mang sabihin ay nilakasan ko pa rin ang ko, it's final. I already caused one big disappointment to my parents, what I did affected them too. Maybe this is not for me and if that is the reality i'm gonna accept it wholeheartedly.
After spending time with them, I also spend time with stella. Sinabi ko rin sa kanya na aalis ako.
Upon talking to them they have one question in common, what happened to lucas.
I didn't answer them directly, ang sinabi ko lang ay we didn't work out because just like what I said to him, i dont wanna ruin his name too.
Pero hindi pala yung tanong nila. It's not about what happened to our relationship, it is about what happened to Lucas who doesn't look like himself.
Hindi ko alam kung paano sasagutin yon dahil hindi ko na rin alam kung anong gusto niya. Didn't he played me? Nakuha na niya ang gusto niya, dapat tumigil na siya, dapat masaya na siya.
It's afternoon when I got to meet mica.
"Lucas didn't graduate," Bungad niya sa akin.
Nagulat ako doon, this is not about us anymore, this is about him and his future... his life... his dream...
"But he attended the graduation,"
What happened that day is still fresh to me, hindi ako pinapatahimik ng konsensya ko sa tuwing naaalala ko yon. Oo hindi ko nga sinira ang pangalan niya, pinahiya ko naman siya.
"He attended because of you. He just want to watch you graduate and congratulate you," Nanahimik ako doon.
He shouldn't have attended. Hindi ba masakit makita na lahat ay gumraduate habang siya ay hindi? Ano bang nangyari sa kanya?
"He failed the last quarter, pinag papasa siya kahit late na but he said he can't. His father was supposed to pay the school for him to graduate but he said you won't be proud of hearing that. Allison nakokonsensya ako sa ginawa ko."
Umiling ako. "Don't feel that way, you did the right thing," Pag kukumbinse ko but I can still see guilt in her eyes.
"What if that plan was long done? What if sasabihin naman niya sayo pero inunahan ko?"
"But what if he don't? What if just like you i'll look for a reason why he broke my heart? Paano kung hindi ako makahanap ng rason? Mica what if all my life nabuhay ako sa mga kasinungalingan niya? If it isn't his intention anymore then he should have destroyed those. Dapat sinabi na siya at bumawi na siya. Nag tatanong ako Mica, nag tatanong ako ng mga sikreto niya, dapat doon palang sinabi na niya. At isa pa kung tapos na lahat, bakit nandyan pa rin si Chloe kahit sinabi niyang wala na?"
"Chloe is also the one that triggers me to tell you all of those. I was in doubt because Lucas seems to really love you. Pero oo nga, bakit nandyan pa rin si chloe?"
After that conversation, nag umpisa na kaming kumain. Punong puno na naman ang utak ko, nadagdagan na naman ang iniisip ko.
I am waiting for kuya to fetch me, nag hintay na rin si Mica saying that she won't leave hanggat wala ang sundo ko.
When I saw my brother's car, nag paalam na ako kay Mica but before I could even walk a mile, she called my name.
"Allison!" I look at her. "I've been thinking about this. Kung kay lucas mo ba narinig ang lahat ng yon at nalamang matagal ng tapos yon, mapapatawad mo ba siya? Will you end it like this or will you spear him another chance?" Napaisip ako don. Nakatingin lang ako sa kanya trying to find the right answer pero walang lumabas sa bibig ko.
Maya maya lang ay narinig ko na ang busina ng sasakyan ni kuya.
"If it came from him I'm sure it would be better than how I am treating it but it didn't and this is the right treatment it deserves."
I wave my hand at her at tuluyan ng sumakay sa sasakyan ni kuya.
Gabi na ng may kumatok sa kwarto ko, the made told me that Luke was waiting for me outside.
When i went out, nakita ko na nasa likod niya si lucas. Lucas was just staring at me, para siyang nag mamaka awa na wag kong kausapin si Luke but that is not what I did, i asked luke to enter. His jealousy doesn't matter to me now.
Pag pasok namin sa loob that is when i was able to scan him. He is drunk!
"Umuwi ka na." sabi ko sa kanya.
Nakita kong bumaba si kuya pero nang makita niya kung sino ito, agad din siyang umakyat.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
Umiwas ako ng tingin.
Ni hindi ko kayang mag sinungaling dahil sobrang sirang sira ako and I think it shows even physically.
"Even if I say yes I know you won't believe me," Sabi ko sa kanya. "Upo ka." Tumalikod ako sa kanya para sana umupo ng maramdaman ko ang pag yakap niya mula sa likod ko. I froze on my spot.
"I shouldn't have give you up, lumaban sana ako. I thought in this way you will be happier but look at you, i am sorry." Ramdam ko sa boses niya ang sisi but what is his fault? Wala.
"Ano bang sinasabi mo?"
"Sana pala inagaw kita sa kanya just like what i was planning. Allison mahal kita, mahal na mahal kita!"
I don't know what to do with that information, I am not ready for anything that relates to love. Sobrang sira ang pag ibig sa akin, I don't even wanna be involve on anything that has a connection to it.
"Luke, I'm sorry but I'm not ready for this conversation. Aakyat na ako."
Tinanggal ko ang mga kamay niya sa pag kakayakap sa akin at agad na umakyat.
Maybe it's because he is drunk that he wasn't able to think of what he is doing pero this is not the right time for this. Hindi ngayon na andami ko pang kailangan ayusin sa sarili ko. He isn't respecting my situation. I don't even know how to start tapos ganito.
BINABASA MO ANG
Can We Fall, One More Time?
RomanceI loved the thrill, the adventures he offered but with it is the pain, the taste of hell his love offers. Sometimes he is love but most of the time he is the definition of suffering in human form. Our beginning mirrored our ending, I should have k...
