Pang ilang beses na ba akong tinanong ng mga kaibigan ko kung anong nangyari sakin pero hindi ko sinabi ang dahilan? The first night of not communicating with him is hard, nasanay ako na may na babasang text mula sa kanya kahit pa tipid o minsan sobrang late na at hindi na nagtutugma ang oras namin.
It's weird being hurt like this. Feeling ko hindi valid, feeling ko ang oa ng feelings ko. Feeling ko wala akong karapatan masaktan ng ganito. Sa sobrang sakit, gusto kong ipaintindi sa kanya kung paano ako nasasaktan pero hindi pwede. The moment he stopped what we have, wala na akong karapatan, kasi wala naman akong pinanghahawakan.
"Ms. Garcia what about you? What do you think?" Agad akong tumayo nang tawagin ng teacher ang pangalan ko. I don't know the question.
"Ma'am may you repeat the question?" I requested.
"Next time focus Ms. Garcia, you're ruining your own image." she sighs before repeating the question, "Your classmate said customers are the most important part of a business and no one in the industry could be at their level. Do you agree?" I don't know who said it, I just wanna answer based on what i know. I'm so caught up in my situation, I kept on disappointing people.
"I respect her thoughts but for me, in a business, stakeholders are equally important, thus, it cannot function with one missing." the teacher nodded before looking at the book she was holding.
"According to this book, there are two types of stakeholders. Do you know what they are?"
"Primary and secondary stakeholders." I answered. Nang paupuin niya ako ay nag pa alam ako para pumunta ng cr.
I stare at myself in the mirror, will I keep on disappointing people? They can't be more disappointed than I am to myself. Nag hilamos ako ng mukha at kumuha ng tissue para punasan ang mukha ko bago lumabas. Nagulat ako nang makita si Ethan doon.
"Are you okay?" Ilang beses na rin ba niya akong tinanong? He kept on asking me that, hoping that I'll open up but I am not yet ready to open up to anyone. Panigurado na iiyak lang ako ulit.
I smiled at him bago mag umpisang mag lakad, "I am." I said.
"Why did I even asked that. I know you're not." He said. Narinig ko ang pag buntong hininga niya pero diretso lang ang tingin ko sa daan, "We're always here, Allison. We'll wait until you're ready to open up whatever you have in there."
"I know." tipid kong sagot. Alam ko naman na nandito lang sila, hindi ko makakalimutan yon and I'm thankful that I have them. Kahit na wala pa akong sinabi sa kanila, pinapalakas nila ang loob ko. They care for me, and I am grateful for that.
"If it is still because of that artist then don't think about her that much. She's receiving the same hate right now." I left out a chuckle before I shook my head.
"She doesn't deserve that." I said.
"Mas hindi mo deserve na sabihan nang ganon. You did nothing." nagulat ako ng harangan niya ang daan ko, "Allison please, stop doubting yourself. Gather yourself, we don't like seeing you like this." Umiwas ako nang tingin, mas ayaw kong nakikita na parang nasasaktan sila sa sitwasyon ko. "Hindi ko sinasabi na wag kang masaktan sa problema mo dahil imposible yon. What i am saying is that, don't lose yourself. You look lifeless, i can't see anything with your eyes, hindi yan yung matang kilala ko Allison. "
Bigla na lang pumatak ang luha ko, I tried wiping the first few drops pero tuloy tuloy na tumulo ang mga ito hanggang sa hindi ko na napigilan.
"Ang hirap na Ethan," I cried.
He pulled me into his embrace. Hindi ko na mapigilan na humagulgol. Ang sakit sakit.
And that day, he let me cry on his chest. I am grateful that he didn't ask any question after that, hinayaan niya lang akong umiyak hanggang sa wala nang lumabas na luha sa mga mata ko.
Lucas Point of View
Napa kunot ako ng noo ng makitang may sumusunod sa akin. Bumaba ako para tingnan kung sino to and when i saw it, na tawa na lang ako.
"Why are you still after me?" I asked. Pero galit siya, he was quick to punch me at sa sobrang lakas ay natumba ako, "Fuck."
"Tangina Lucas. Mahal ka ng tao tapos lolokohin mo?" It's Ethan, the lover boy.
"She knows what she entered. Wag kang umakto na parang ako lang ang may kasalanan ng lahat." I said. But in reality, I am at fault at everything, ang tanging ginawa niya lang ay nagpaka tanga siya sa katulad ko.
Hindi pa man ako nakakatayo ay inambangan na naman niya ako ng isa pang malakas na suntok.
"Mapapatay kitang gago ka!" Sinipa niya ako bago umalis, i winced in pain. Putang Ina talaga.
I didn't mind parking my car at pumasok na sa bahay ni Chloe.
"What the fuck lucas!" She shouted.
Tinulak niya ako sa banyo at doon pinag linis.
"Chloe I need first aid hindi ligo!" Sigaw ko mula sa banyo pero hindi niya ako pinapansin kaya hinugasan ko na lang ang labi ko na dumudugo bago ako lumabas ulit.
"What happened?" She asked.
"Got beaten by the bestfriend again." She sighs with what I said before she sat on the sofa.
"Tapos ka na sa kanya, maybe you should fight now."
Tinignan ko sa salamin ang mukha ko, hindi naman malaki pero pumutok ang labi ko.
"By the way, did you end it harshly the way I told you?"
I look at her from the mirror, 'end it harshly' She said.
"Yes." I answered.
I did the half...I almost didn't.
BINABASA MO ANG
Can We Fall, One More Time?
RomanceI loved the thrill, the adventures he offered but with it is the pain, the taste of hell his love offers. Sometimes he is love but most of the time he is the definition of suffering in human form. Our beginning mirrored our ending, I should have k...
