Can We Fall, One More Time?

Chapter 72: They Tried, but failed

We were preparing our things when I decided to walk towards Ethan. Papasok na siya ng kwarto niya pero ng mapansin niya na sumunod ako sa kanya ay humarap siya sa akin.

"Pwede ba tayong mag usap?" tumigil ang lahat sa ginawa nila but when i look at them, they acted like they are busy with their staffs again.

Hinihintay namin na umalis sila but they seems to be interested on what we are about to talk about, binagalan pa nila ang pag kilos. It's been half an hour now, hindi naman sila ganito katagal kumilos.

"You know what? Tayo nalang ang umalis." Ethan grab my hand, nagpa tangay naman ako. Before we could leave the room, narinig ko silang nag hiyawan.

"Dapat sa susunod na practice maayos na kayo ha!" Sigaw ni Kit. Of course they notice the distance, the awkwardness.

It felt strange being in his car again, dati heto ang sasakyan na naghahatid sundo sa akin, this is the car i am most comfortable with and I could say, i miss this.

"Saan mo gustong pumunta?" He asked, tumingin ako sa kanya.

"Kahit saan, I just wanna catch up with you..." Hindi ko alam kung itutuloy ko pa ba ang gusto kong sabihin so I decided not to, i need to be sensitive.

Nang may madaanan kami na convenience store, we stopped by to buy canned beer. He was hesitant at first pero napilit ko rin naman and now we are at the trunk of his car drinking the beer we bought.

"Kamusta?" Tanong ko. Sa tagal namin na hindi nag uusap, we only greet each other even in school, hindi ko na talaga alam ang ganap sa buhay niya.

"Sa kaka push niyo sa akin kay Rhea naging interesado na ako,"Nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi niya, that's good then!

"Nanliligaw ka na?" Masayang tanong ko pero nawala rin ang ngiti sa mukha ko ng umiling siya. " You like her, why don't you pursue her?"

"It's not that easy to fully recover from the love I have for you, Allison. To be honest, nasasaktan parin ako kapag naiisip ko na I am trying to get over the love I had for a long time. " Tumingin siya sa akin. "I know that part of me will always love you but it still hurts. Gusto ko siya pero hanggat hindi nawawala yung sakit, ayaw kong mag simula ulit. I don't wanna be unfair to her, I don't want her to feel like a rebound."

I look down. "I'm sorry."

Inabot niya ang kamay at hinawakan ito. "Stop being sorry for something that is not your fault. Hindi mo kontrolado ang nararamdaman mo." I look at his eyes, there's no hint of bitterness on them.

"Are we good? Galit ka pa ba?" Nag kunot ang noo niya sa tanong ko.

"I was never mad at you, Allison," He said.

"Umiwas ka e,"

"That's because I don't want you to be uncomfortable with my presence. Now that you know what I feel, natatakot lang ako na baka isipin mo that I am doing things because of what I feel. I don't want to ruin what we have left."

Friendship, that's what never ends, it isn't too much to feel but never too less to maintain. It is in the middle, loving the person but not too much and not too less.

"Ikaw, kamusta ka na? Ang puso mo? Ang relasyon niyo?"

Tinignan ko siya bago tumingin sa mga kamay naming magkahawak. I played with our fingers. "Dati gusto ko lang mahalin siya, gusto ko lang ay ang ibigay ang lahat hanggang sa maubos ako but now, parang natatakot na ako,"

Natatakot ako kasi baka hindi na totoo, hindi ko na kasi maramdaman, nasasaktan na rin ako sa ganitong sitwasyon.

"If you're thinking about what he feels then believe me when I say he loves you. I hate him to death pero hindi ko nakakailang mahal ka talaga niya,"