Can We Fall, One More Time?

Chapter 50: Warning

It's half of the year, the first day of the week for the semester break and we're gonna go to Lucas' place. Sa zambales kung saan niya ako sinama noon. Almost half of the class tag along, yung iba naman hindi daw pinayagan ng parents.

Nang Kumpleto na kami, everyone entered on their designated place. May tatlong van ang isa ay pinag lagyan lang ng mga gamit. Kaming dalawa ni ethan naman ay humiwalay dahil may dala siyang sasakyan.

Lucas and I talked about this, gusto pa nga niya na sumabay na lang sa amin pero sinabi ko na baka mag taka si ethan.

The whole ride reminded me of why I love long roads, calming, with beautiful scenery. It screams peace and beauty.

Pagka rating namin, everyone chose to rest first, i didn't know that this house has so much room in it, kumasya kaming lahat.

When afternoon came, everyone were just up for a walk noong gabi naman, may mga nag babad but most of them just took their time to chill inside. Guess everyone are tired, bukas naman ang mga plano but still sayang din ang araw na ito.

It's 11PM, according to Lucas, wala ng nasa labas. We are planning to walk on the shore but instead of doing it with him, I am doing it with Ethan.

"Bakit hindi ka makatulog?" I asked. When I left the room, he was outside the door.

"Knowing you, you love night the most. Naisip ko lang na baka gising ka pa at gusto mong mag lakad lakad, hindi nga ako nagkamali," sabi nito. Sasagot na sana ako ng makita ko si Lucas sa gilid. I already told him about this. Sadly, we can't do what we planned.

Nang malagpasan na namin siya ay inaya ko si Ethan na umupo. Nang nakaupo na kami, wala ng nagsalita. There really is something with the sounds on the water, matatahimik ka lang it is as if it is asking you to connect with your mind.

"You know what, I read something that bothers me." Pagba basag ko ng katahimikan.

"Do you mind sharing?" He asked.

"Sabi, one should be mindful of how someone treats them at first because it will happen again, possibly even worse." Pag kukwento ko.

"Why does it bothers you?" Tanong niya. Tinignan ko siya, Nakatingin din siya sa akin.

"Because it made sense. If someone does something bad to you at your beginning, what's more kapag nag tagal na kayo diba? Kapag sinalihan mo ng love yung na topic na to, nakakatakot. Paano kapag nakita mo? Paano kung alam mo na na hindi ka naman tinrato ng maayos, pero mahal mo e, kaya maniniwala ka na hindi na nila gagawin ulit yung ginawa nila sayo?" I said and the real reason why it bothers me is because, I can relate to it. Natatakot ako na baka masaktan na naman ako, natatakot ako na baka iwan na naman niya ako but I love him kaya pinili ko na lang na pagkatiwalaan siya.

"When people treat you badly that could be a warning but a lot of people ignore them kasi maraming naniniwala sa second chance. Maybe yeah, some deserve a second chance at doon mas nag wowork, but it will depend on the situation. Yang mga bigay lang ng bigay, they should know how to love themselves because the love they have for the person will end up hurting them too, so bad that it will consume them. When you ignore the sign which could be in the form of what they did to you, you give them access to keep on hurting you. Kumbaga ayon na nakita mo na yung red light, pero hindi mo pinansin hanggang sa nasanay ka, you kept on ignoring it. Akala mo kagaya nung mga Nauna makakalagpas ka, but then the world decided that you should pay, hindi ka nga nahuli ng enforces, life and death naman ang kaharap mo. And love... Kapag nasaktan ka ng love it can also be life and death." what he said is true, kapag sinaktan ka ng pag mamahal, life and death is indeed a thing. Kapag nasaktan ka, buhay ka man, Para ka na ring nag aagaw buhay, the pain will take over you, matatakot ka sa umaga sa ibang rason nga lang. When you are given a life sentence, matatakot ka na sumapit ang umaga lalo na't alam mong napapa lapit ang bilang but with heartache, natatakot ka na magising sa bagong bukas dahil alam mong kailangan mo na namang mag tiis buong araw habang nararamdaman ang sakit, isang araw na naman para mag dusa pero hindi mo alam kung kelan matatapos.

The pain that love bring, it could make you feel like a breathing corpse, mawawalan ka ng buhay sa lahat ng bagay but you'll keep on breathing at yon ang masakit, kailangan mong mabuhay habang nararamdaman ang pagka durog mo, ang pagka ubos mo, ang pagbabago mo.

"But can we blame those who love despite the red flags? Love works differently for everyone. Sometimes, the person who completes you is also the one who bring you so much pain. Oo gusto mong hindi na masaktan pero kaya mo bang magpa tuloy ng hindi Kumpleto?"

"I never felt complete, how would I answer that?" Nasaktan ako sa sinabi niya. Ethan is a great man, I know he has so much love to give but how can he open himself to loving when he has trauma within him? How can he open himself to love when he finds it hard to trust others?

Lumapit ako sa kanya at niyakap siya.

"I hope we can fill that missing pieces but I know that will only be a wishful thinking," Huminga ako ng malalim bago iangat ang tingin ko sa kanya. "But I promise that whatever position I fill inside you, will forever be there. Hindi ako aalis, dito lang ako." Ngumiti siya sa sinabi ko.

"The position you have in me is big enough because having you in my life taught me something and that is to love..." Hindi ko narinig ang sinabi niya sa huli kaya tinignan ko ulit siya.

"What did my existence teach you?" I asked.

"It taught me that there is something constant in this world and not everyone will leave you. Allison, you sure has something in you that convince people that you mean whatever you promise. You are full of assurance and I know I can count on you. Never leave my side..." He said.

That was too long compared to what he said first which I didn't hear though...