Can We Fall, One More Time?

Chapter 62: Undeserving

Allison's Pov

Sinabihan ko siyang umalis para ayusin ang sitwasyon pero hindi ko lang talaga alam ang gagawin. When he left, binalot ako ng takot. Ethan never looked this mad, he never looked at me this way.

"Allison wag naman puro puso! May utak ka, gamitin mo rin!" I shut my eyes, whatever he says will hurt but I can't do anything with that, sa set p ng pinasok ko, I know it will cause me endless pain.

"I'm sorry..." Yun lang ang paulit ulit na lumalabas sa bibig ko.

"Sorry?! Wag ka sakin mag sorry, mag sorry ka sa sarili mo!" Ni hindi ko siya makilala ngayon. He isn't looking at me but I could see how furious he is. Kanina pa niya ako pinag sasabihan pero hindi nabawasan ang galit niya, his voice is still as loud as it is the first time words came out from his mouth the moment he saw us.

Nanginginig man ang kamay ay inabot ko ang cellphone ko. I message Asher.

Alam kong hindi tama ang ginawa ko dahil dapat ayusin ko ito but I don't know what to do, ayaw ko ring mag bitaw ng salita na hindi ko naman gagawin. I know what he wants to hear. Alam ko rin naman kung ano ang tama na dapat gawin, hindi ko lang alam kung kaya ko.

"No wonder he hurt you so bad, alam niya kasi na kapag bumalik siya tatanggapin mo ulit siya. I hope he hurts you again, maybe in that way you w-" Ang mga sunod sunod na saksak sa puso ko ay natigil ng marinig ko ang boses ng kanina ko pa hinihintay.

"Ethan!" Asher shouted before his eyes landed on me. Agad siyang tumakbo sa akin. "Shh, calm down. I'm here."

I buried my face on asher's chest, hindi ko na muling tinignan pa si ethan. Natatakot ako sa kanya.

"Allis-"

"Umalis ka na muna pre."

"I'm sorry." narinig kong bulong niya. Kumpara kanina, mahinahon na ang boses niya.

I didn't say anything not because I am mad but because he didn't do anything wrong and it's not his fault. Hindi ako makapag salita dahil hiyang hiya ako sa sarili ko.

Then i heard the door open, sumara din ito pagkatapos indicating that ethan is gone.

Asher was hugging me for some minutes now pero hindi ko pa rin alam kung paano umpisahan, hindi ko pa rin alam kung ano ang gagawin o kung ano ang sasabihin.

"Nakakapagod na ba ako?" Yun lang ang lumabas na salita sa bibig ko.

Pagod na pagod na siguro sila na intindihin ako. I am the only girl in the group but I think I am as heavy as 5 different girls who have different personalities.

They are 5 mens, people may think that it's difficult handling them but actually they don't stress me at all. In fact they are the comfort I have, the rest after a long tiring day. All of them are the definition of serenity in human form.

Pero ako, kung hindi ako iiyak, mapapagod ako, kung hindi ako mapapagod, matatakot ako and these days I have been making the foolest decisions.

I thought I was the strongest for being on a group like this and being able to handle them pero kaya pala magaan kasi ako talaga yung mabigat.

"Asher, I am the worst." Bulong ko.

I am the worst, not only as a friend, not only as a daughter but as a woman... as a human.

I felt his hand on my back, comforting me.

"I always thought you were the best

I guess I always will..."