Before Me, Him

Chapter 8

     I didn't know how to answer his question so I just walked straight to the sand, without looking back. As I reached the towel I lay down and let the water dry with the warmth of the sun. What was I supposed to say in that situation? I didn't know. I'm not running away, I'm just preventing tragedies. "The sun, as if" I thought. The only person that should earn that role is Emily, she is always so bright and so shiny. The environments change just with her presence. She is the most befitted for that role, not me. I don't push people away, do I? I don't think I do because I never let them get too close. I always let people know their places, I don't fool anyone. I never did.

     A couple of minutes after, Jacob lays down on this towel and stares at me. Our eyes were looking into each other, wondering what was running through our own minds. He closes his eyes and I rotate my head to look at Emily sitting down and playing cards with Dean and Phillip. 

     My heart was hurting, seeing Jacob, talking with him, hanging around him, was painful for me. When he was in the picture I just felt like going back to the ocean and drowning so I wouldn't have to see him again. Every time I would look at him the memories that were once locked in came back.

     I know they are not the same. Jacob is Jacob and William is William. But... The similarities are too big to ignore. I cannot think about Jacob without thinking about my brother. That's why it scares me. That's why I need to back away. Try to avoid him at all costs.

     - We should get some lunch, I'm starting to get hungry. – states Emily after a couple of hours had passed. They had gone to the ocean a couple more times but for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to go again so I ended up being alone in the sand the rest of the time.

     The group agrees and we pack everything up. We start walking alongside the beach until we find a restaurant with reasonable prices and good food. Everyone was having fun and enjoying their meal, I didn't talk much, I never did so I wasn't feeling too bad for not being apart of the conversation. I guess I felt like I was a little bit out of place just because I don't fit in this "extremely beauty" category.

     - So June, where do you live? – Phillip was sitting on my side and started to have a small conversation with me. He was a peculiar guy, always surrounded by books. When we arrived at the bar yesterday he was reading a book and today at the beach he was reading a different one. I bet the only reason why he is not reading one right now is because he is eating otherwise... - Hollum. – I state as I take some water into my mouth.

     - I only went there a couple of times but not for the greatest reasons. Also, my parents don't really enjoy the idea of me traveling by myself, they are a bit overprotective in my opinion – while Phillip talked I kept on eating. Since I gave no response to his previous statement he continues – Hollum has one of the biggest libraries in the country right? I wish I could go see it. His dark eyes were sparkling and he had a big smile on his face. Phillip looked like a little kid when talking about books, he was extremely excited and happy just thinking about it. In a way, Phillip and Emily are a little bit similar, when they get excited their eyes sparkle like a night sky filled with stars. I thought it was cute.

     - Well it is very big, you have a lot of books but I think that the majority of them is creative writing-related. They don't have that much that relate to certain types of studies so you end up having to order them. – I lay back on my chair and look at him. – And the library itself is not the greatest place to be. It's great to rent books but the place itself is very dusty and is filled with people. Even if you want to read quietly in silence it's not possible because there are too many people whispering.

     - Do you go there often? – Phillip's expression changes and what was once excitement turns into curiosity.

     - I usually go there once or twice a week. The book you were reading in the bar, "The Girl on The Train"? I already read it, it's a very interesting suspense book.

     - I wouldn't take you for someone who likes to read. – he says while the curiosity turns into interest.

     - That's natural right? You don't know me. – I finish my food and get up to go to the bathroom. When I get back everyone else was already in the deserts so I just sat again and started looking around the restaurant. I usually pay extremely attention to the environment around me but something was distracting me so I ended up not appreciating the place where we were.

     - So, what books do you enjoy reading June? – I look to my side and Phillip was right there, a lot closer to me than he was before.

     - It depends on my mood but I read a little bit of everything. – I place myself a bit further away. – A favorite would definitely be romance or suspense.

     - So you like romances June? – Jacob interrupts the conversation before Phillip has a chance to reply. – Who knew.

     He was smiling straight at me and his eyes were fixated on mine. I had a bad feeling. My heart was feeling heavy and hurting but this time was something else. It wasn't my late brother's memories hurting. I don't understand his feelings and this whole mood around Jacob so I'll just ignore it.

     - I knew. – I give Jacob a cold smile and get up to pay for my share.

     The rest of the group ends up following me and after ten minutes we leave the restaurant. They decided we would walk around a little bit to digest our food quicker but I wasn't really in the mood to walk with them. I felt like I needed to be alone.

      Jacob was staring at me and right before I could say anything he talked.

     - What about if we go to my house?

     - That's an awesome idea, Jacob! You even have a pool, right? – Emily gets excited and grabs me by the arm, leading the way to Jacob's house.

     I wonder if he saw right through me. I wonder if he knew that I wanted to go home and be alone. It was pure coincidence, right? There's no way that could happen. We barely know each other so there's no way he can read me like that.

     After a fifteen minutes' walk, we ended up arriving at Jacob's house. His place was extremely big, just by watching it from the outside I felt intimidated. It was almost like a mansion: the house had four floors, several windows and balconies, and even a really big entrance door made of extremely dark wood. A pearl white house with an extremely green garden and a beautiful blue pool.

     - Come on in! – says Jacob as he opens the entrance door.