Before Me, Him

Chapter 26

     - Today we are going to the beach do you want to join us, June? – says Emily as we wash the dishes from lunch.

     - Actually, I have a place I need to go to so I can't but we can go somewhere tomorrow if you'd like! – I smile.

     Emily nods and, once she is done I see her leaving the house with her beautiful light orange dress and her light brown sandals. I go to my room and see if I can find everything I needed: wallet, keys, phone...

     With everything checked I leave the house with my dark denim blue jeans and my white cropped top. Once I stepped outside I felt a warm breeze playing with my long brown hair as if they were dancing in the sunlight. Compared to today morning, the day had turned a lot warmer, almost a perfect beach day.

     As I walked my way to the library I would look at the people around me and, for once, see them. The brunette kid running after the blonde girl. The pregnant lady at the cafe reading a book. The couple walking by while holding hands. The seagulls feeding their kids on the roofs of the buildings. The sound of the ocean talking to me. It all seemed so new and so different than before. How come I didn't see things like this? How come I didn't pay attention?

     I enter the library and Lisa welcomes me with a warm smile.

     - Welcome back, June! The books you requested arrived this morning. – she gets up and places in the reception desk five different books, each one with its unique color and size.

     - Good afternoon Lisa, how are you today? – I question with a slight smile. – Here is the request sheet you needed.

     - Thank you! Once you are done with them deliver them to me. – she says before diving again into her book. It was already a different one.

     I walk towards the stairs and see Philip sitting at one of the tables. Instinctively I start moving towards the empty table while his eyes focus on me. "Don't be afraid." I kept repeating to myself until I gained the courage to sit at his table. I sit in front of him.

     - Hello June. – he says with a warm smile.

     - Hi Philip. – I answer him.

     - I've got to say I was surprised when you sat here. – his dark brown eyes stare onto mine. – Very surprised.

     I give him an awkward smile and place the books on top of the table. After removing my notebook and pencil case I noticed that he has picked one of my books.

     - Horses? – he frowns. – I didn't know you were interested in horses.

     - It's for a friend. – I say while fetching the book from his hand.

     - Oh... Interesting. - his eyes sparkle with curiosity. – So even you can have friends.

     - What is that supposed to mean Philip? – I question while frowning my eyebrows and glaring at him.

     - Emily doesn't own a horse and you never mentioned any other friend even though I know you have them. – he stares at me. – You always do everything by yourself, isn't it lonely?

     - I'm not lonely, I have plenty of friends. – I state while focusing on the books.

     - I wonder if that is the truth. You know that if you don't open this – Philip points to my heart. – you won't be able to let go.

     I stare at him. I couldn't say anything, my mind was blank and my mouth was just plain open. How could he know this about me? It's not like it's general culture or something in the between. I sight. He is right, I know it but I cannot open it like it, it was locked for a reason.

     - And you shouldn't meddle in other's people's lives. – I state.

     - You're right but due to some weird reason, I don't like to see you like this. – he leans to me and touches a piece of my hair, playing with it gently. – Closing your heart to wonderful things right in front of you.

     - What are you doing Philip? – I question while looking at him bluntly.

     - Trying to make you understand. – he smiles while his hand leaves my hair.

     - Understand what?

     - I wonder... - Phillip smiles and lays his back into his chair.

     Even though his smile looked gentle I felt like something was wrong. Maybe it was just my imagination, maybe I only thought that because of the way he was reading me. Maybe I just wanted an excuse to make him look like the bad guy so my instincts would back off straight away. Philip sounded as if he liked me as if he was the "wonderful thing right in front of me" but I couldn't know or even tell for sure. He was always weird, and ever since I met him he had been meddling with me and teasing me around with some strange words and actions. There is no way to know what is on his mind or even on his heart.

     - It's funny you say that Philip. – I state while reading one of the books I rented. – You say that I have my heart closed but yours is not exactly open for business, is it? – I give him a sarcastic smile.

     - Touché. – he looks to me. – You're most definitely right, I do have some demons to work out myself.

     - Then if that is the case, should you really be giving me those types of advice instead of using that precious time on working on your demons? – I question while flipping the page.

     - Who said that I wasn't? – as these words escape his mouth my head looks up and my eyes interlock with his.

     - What do you mean Phillip? – I question while glaring at him. I needed an answer from him, I needed to know what he meant. Was I his demon? That would be impossible he barely knows me, right?

     - Alright. – he gets up and pokes my forehead. – That's enough for one day. Have a great reading, June.

     And, just like that, he leaves the library. My brain ended up being focused on creating theories that would explain his actions but more exactly his words. I tried remembering my past the most that I could, maybe he had something to do with it? No matter how hard I tried I couldn't remember him at all.

     A couple of minutes later, unable to focus on that environment, I ended up going back home in hopes that I would be able to have a solution for Autumn's problem.