Before Me, Him

Chapter 29

     His voice echoed through my head. "Who is William", he questioned me. The silence was almost deafening, I just wanted to leave this suddenly really uncomfortable room.

     - That's... - I start saying but my courage disappears and I just end up quiet.

     - Who is William to you? – he questions me again. I know he was being pushy with me, he wanted to know this information and I understand it. If he really was the person that saw me cry and that saw me in that state, who could blame him?

     - He's my brother. – I say while I feel tears being created in my eyes again. – He has pa...

     - It's alright June. You'll tell me the rest when you are ready. – Jacob says while interrupting me and cleaning away the tears that had escaped my eyes with his warm hand.

     He saved me there from maybe, regretting something. I didn't felt like I was ready to talk about what happened with my brother. Even though it has been ages, it is still something very alive inside of me, that is why I never told anyone anything related to the matter. My parents, on the other hand, told every single person they knew and ended up trying to get better with advice from several different people. My mom ended up on a therapist and my dad found his way around with alcohol. Only around one year ago we went back to, sort of, have family meals together, I guess they were able to heal slightly. My mom left the therapist and my dad started to cut down on his drinks. He still has some of them every day but now he doesn't ingest enough alcohol to take him somewhere else than this reality.

     As I drowned in my thoughts I feel the silence coming around again and the air, suddenly, becoming heavy as I remembered what had happened a couple of hours ago.

     - Did you hear it? – I question while looking at him in his eyes. – Was it you?

     - It was wonderful. – Jacob says while nodding. – You have a gift, June.

     Usually, I would smile with this small token of appreciation but right now I can't. Everything is being too overwhelming, I don't truly know who to turn to or even what to say. I never did honestly but right now, is a lot worst than what it usually is.

     - Is Emily still here? – I ask Jacob to see him nod negatively.

     - Philip, Emily, Dean, and Polly already left, they had something to do. – He rests his head in his hand. – Em said she would wait for you at the house.

     - Did they see me as well? – my heart starts pounding extremely loud and fast as I feel more and more scared.

     - No. I told them that you were sleepy so you asked to rest. – in his lips, a warm smile is created. – You don't need to worry.

     I exhale all the stress out of me and feel the relief embracing me. I tell Jacob that I should get going, that I should go back to my house otherwise Emily might get worried. Of course, he replied that he would take me. I wasn't surprised.

     We leave the house and as we walk we see the sun on the horizon, slowly setting, while its rays turn more orange and darker by the second. The clouds were yellow, pink, and orange, reflecting the sun's last wishes of the day. Jacob was quiet and so was I however it didn't felt uncomfortable. I think I had already gotten used to this silence, it was warm and welcoming.

     His eyes were gazing to the horizon when I turned mine to him. His skin was reflecting the orange rays and his eyes were sparkling, turning a lot lighter than what they usually were. His light pink lips looked like the pink clouds around us. The wind was slowly playing with his black hair as if dancing in a synced melody. I feel my heart skip a bit.

     "What was that? Why did it do that?" I questioned myself. I guess it is silly to be asking myself things that I know the answer to right? He looked so much like William, my heart got fooled and thought it was him for a second. I breathe almost as if I was relieved with the conclusion I had arrived.

     As I was lost in thought his hand rubs against mine by accident and he looked at me. His light brown eyes filled with warmth and hopes. Somehow our hands ended up connecting as my fingers touched his. We didn't stop walking, we didn't say anything but we both looked away. It was comfortable, it was nice. It felt right. His touch was so warm and in my head, the only word appearing was "William".

     Once we arrived the warmth dissipated as our hands grew further and further apart from each other. That's when it hit me.

     - Jacob, why did you come back to the house? Didn't you go to the market with them? –I question while several memories of today's events pass through my mind.

     - I never said I'd go. I was in the house the whole time. – he states. – I entered a couple of minutes after you.

     - What about Polly? You said she was there, did she go shopping with them? – I ask remembering what he had previously mentioned.

     Jacob nods his head and I understand that Polly was in the house as well. My heart aches thinking that maybe she saw me in that state. How could I have been so careless? I thought the house was empty since I didn't know Polly was there and I assumed that Jacob would go to the market with them since they said "We're all going to the market". Maybe he could have any other familiar member there even though, from what Emily told me, his parents are very busy, always travelling to a lot of places, only being able to come home at night and, his older brother is currently working in a big company in the city so he didn't live here anymore. It was a risk, it always was but I did anyway. Until now I didn't regret doing it but now, I'm rethinking and my nervous system is starting to make me think about the worst possibilities.

     - She was in the pool the whole time so don't worry June. – Jacob smiles at me and reassures me, relieving a little bit of my anxiety.

     I give him a slight smile and open the front door. As I enter I see his shape turning darker and darker and, as the sun faded away so did he.

     Once I entered the house I hear Emily laughing alongside another person, another girl. I walk towards the living room and see Polly. Her light blue eyes look me from top to bottom and, afterward, she quickly gets up and grabs my arm, clinging onto me. Her eyes were looking straight into me and I felt so uncomfortable. I don't know if it was just stress or me being paranoid but, once she grabbed me, I understood that she knew about what had happened.

     - So June... How are you feeling? – she questioned me while her mouth was closer to my face. Once her lips touched my ear a different side of Polly is shown. –Did you dream a lot... with William?