Before Me, Him

Chapter 43

     The lights are turned back on and all the mirrors are brought down.

     - June! – I hear someone screaming my name while running towards me. Their arms are placed around my curled-up body. – It's alright, I'm here... it's alright.

     I manage to open my eyes slightly to see a blonde-haired person hugging me, it was Emily. The lights had been turned back on and the darkness was gone. I still didn't understand how she had found her way back to me.

     - Emily! – I scream and grab her, tears were rolling down my face. – It was not my fault, I swear! I... I...

     - I know June, I know. – she starts crying as she petted my head. – I know.

     - Is everything alright? –an unknown voice talks, most likely it was one of the attraction managers trying to see if everything was alright with me.

     - We're alright, just give us a minute. – Emily says while wiping up her tears with one of her hands.

     A couple of minutes passed and my tears stopped, as they always would. They would go out for several minutes but then it's as if they would stop for some unknown reason. I clean the remaining tears and get up slowly. I look around and see that all the mirrors had gone underground. "So there was never a way out." I realized.

     - Let's go? – I say while giving her a smile. Emily gets up as well. I didn't want to worry her so I had to show her somehow that I am alright even though I am quite aware that I am not.

     - June... - she starts. – You are not to blame.

     - I know. – I nod my head and we start walking towards the group. No one said anything, no one questioned anything. We were all silent, I guess this was a first for them, it is not something they were expecting or even something that is easy to react to. They wanted to talk, they wanted to say something but I don't think they knew what to say however Jacob was different. He was just staring at me with a serious expression, without any will to say anything. 

     - J... I'm sorry... It's my fault that... - Luke says. He looked lost and uncomfortable like he couldn't find the words to apologize. For a change, Polly wasn't clinging onto him, she was just looking at me with extremely sorrowful eyes.

     - It's late, we should... - I knew what Emily was doing, she was trying to convince everyone to leave the park so that I could go home get some rest.

     - Let's go to the Ferris Wheel. The sun is setting, right? – I say after placing myself in front of all of them and looking back. I give them a smile.

     Usually, I would have gone home in this scenario. I wouldn't have prevented Emily from talking and would have used it as an excuse to go home but I'm scared. I'm scared of going home and falling asleep. Right now I'm scared of mirrors, of the dark, of myself. I'd rather stay here and try to get busy with something else.

     The Ferris Wheel had several carriages but they would only carry two to three people at the same time. Polly grabbed Luke's arm and pushed him to a carriage while Emily looked at me as if waiting for permission to go with Dean. I give her a warm smile and they both enter. I would go with Jacob and Phillip.

     As the carriages would get higher the sunrays would go down. Right at the top, the Ferris Wheel stops for some minutes while I look into the horizon. You could see the ocean from here and the sun disappearing on its horizon. Jacob and Phillip were both sitting in front of me even though I wasn't even paying attention to them.

     - June... - Jacob says as I turn my face to him. His expression was still serious and his eyes looked impatient for an answer.  –What happened?

     - Jacob, you shouldn... - Philip starts a sentence but gets quickly interrupted as he gets up from his seat.

     - She can make her own decisions Philip. –Jacob returns his eyes to mine while Philip sits again.

     - My demons. – I said as I give them both a hurtful smile.

     - June... - Philip says. I think both of them understood what I meant. They also understood nothing else would be coming from my lips regarding this situation.

     - I'll miss it. This view. – I say while placing my hand on the glass.

     - Do you really have to go back? – Jacob questions me.

     I nod. Of course, I have to go back, that was the plan all along. I was never meant to be here forever, that would be too good to be true. My fairy tale was reaching its ending and sadly it isn't the happiest.

     After ten minutes we leave the Ferris Wheel. The park was closing and both Polly and Emily were starving. We ended up deciding we would go have some dinner at a Chinese restaurant. Both Emily and Polly ate all they could, I guess the whole day made them extremely hungry.

     We arrived home around nine o'clock and I went upstairs. I opened the room door and turned on the lights. I went a little bit to my balcony and I looked at the night sky. The stars were twinkling and the moon was shining bright.

     - I'm sorry Will... - I whisper hoping that he could hear me. – I truly am.

     I hear some noise so I look down and see Philip on the outside of the fence that surrounded the house. I go down without Therese and John noticing while Emily was in her room.

     - Do you need anything Phillip? – I questioned him while I closed the fence gate for a little bit.

     - June, about today... - He places his hand on his hair and starts meddling with it. He was unsure of what to say and, as far as I could tell, extremely uncomfortable. – I don't know what happened to you but if you need to talk about something that is bugging you or annoying you, let me know alright?

     - I know Philip, thank you. – I stretch my arm upwards to place my hand on top of his. – You don't need to blame yourself.

     - I just don't want you to go back to that. – he looks at me while grabbing my hand. – I wouldn't forgive myself if that were to happen.

     - It's late. You should go. – I say while letting go of his hand. – Goodnight Philip.

     I give him a sorrowful smile as I go back inside the house again.