Before Me, Him

Chapter 62

     I don't know what made me take that decision. I don't know what made me talk right there, with him. If I were to guess I would assume it was because of his eyes, they resembled someone dear to me, someone trustworthy and I guess that day my heart wavered slightly. The man grabbed two chairs and helped me sit down as I explain the whole situation that had happened in school the day before.

     - You know kid, when I was younger I walked a very thorny path. I was a rebellious teen and hated the world. My only friend was the heroin I would pump into my system and I would go wild a lot of time as well however, looking back I know that it was just a lack of communication with me and the world.

     - A lack of communication? How so? – I questioned him.

     - When someone becomes guided by instincts it's because their emotions are so clogged inside their heart that the only way for them to escape is through losing their sense of self. – he leans forward on his chair and smiles at me. – If you're no good at communicating with the world in your own words then use a different voice.

     - What did you do? – I asked as he laughed.

     - I would play the guitar. "I believe musicians have a duty, a responsibility to reach out, to share your love or pain with others." Do you know who said that? – I nod negatively to his questions and he smiles. – James Taylor.

     Listening to his words I remembered something important. I would only sing or play the piano when my emotions were unbearable and after that, I would always feel better and calmer with myself. Almost as if this big weight had been lifted off my shoulders, I can't explain it but it's true. The only problem is that I would sing and play my heart out so the person standing there, that artist, was nothing more but a clutch of emotions glued together, trying to do her best at everything she can. That's embarrassing.

     - Sir, can you teach me how to play the guitar? – I question him with a very serious expression.

     - Well... – he pauses for a couple of seconds before giving in. – It's not like the store is busy either way. Do you have a guitar?

     - I don't, I was hoping I could buy one but pay you every month instead of everything right now. I'm working part-time so I'm saving money and I don't have enough for it. – I lower my head expecting a negative response.

     - It's alright, that's fine by me. – he places his hand on my head and strokes it. – Now don't lower your head, it's not shameful to ask for a favor.

     A bright smile appeared on my lips as I felt another cloud from my heart being evaporated into the atmosphere. In this weird world, this unhappy and tricky world, I was, even for a couple of seconds, happy.

     We spent the rest of the time seeing a guitar that I liked and after I decided on a beautiful dark brown colored one we spent the rest of the day in a teacher-student relationship. I managed to learn and memorize a couple of accords on the guitar and he even let me borrow some books so I could practice in my house whenever I had time.

     Several days went by and there had been no news from the school. Most of the lighter wounds were now healed so I was able to move a lot better. I had spent the week visiting Robert in the morning, even if it was just watching him since I couldn't do any physical efforts and help him with his farm chores. I also dropped by Josh's store every day in order to memorize and learn whatever I could before my free time ran out. Of course, I wasn't able to touch the guitar yet due to my injuries but next week I should be more than fine.

     It's Friday afternoon and I'm getting ready for my part-time job. Therese and John told me to skip this weekend and rest but the truth is I was feeling a lot better and I really want to earn as much as I can since now I have two different goals to accomplish.

     My shift started at six pm and always ends around eleven pm. It's not too bad though since I manage to see the sun going down and the beautiful night being reborn over and over again. I tie my hair up in a ponytail like I usually do and tie the small white apron around my waist. On Friday night the place is usually packed with people since the bar is also a restaurant until ten pm.

     The service went smoothly and like I suspected I was a lot better. I would move around easily and it wouldn't hurt too much however He was here, again. I really didn't know why but this gentleman's presence really disturbed me. He is very mysterious and charming, almost as if he was a deadly machine created to seduce the opposite sex.

     I first saw him a couple of weeks after I started this part-time job when he entered the bar around ten o'clock and stayed there until around eleven. He would always look at me and from time to time I would be his waitress but he never spoke anything unusual however I felt something about him was off. He had extremely light eyes, almost light grey and his jawline was abnormally defined. His hair was always pushed back with gel and it was straight and long with a beautiful dark brown tone. His facial features made him look very mature but not old, it was almost as if it was a poison that would make you addicted to such beauty. When he would speak his voice was so determined and vibrant, almost as if he was a very decisive man. I can't explain it but even the whole aura around him was different than the rest of the customers in the room. Every single night he would get approached by ladies and today was no exception however he would only give them a small white card and they would peacefully leave. Weirdly enough every time I would head home he would have already left the bar. This mysterious man made me feel uneasy.

     The weekend passed and so did the whole week. It was Friday again and there was no change in the situation at school. I haven't seen the guys for a week so I've been spending my mornings with Robert and my afternoons with Josh. My wounds are also pretty much just healed so I can even play a bit of the guitar. I had lost the memory of wanting to learn new things, especially new instruments. When I was younger I loved to learn more about the piano and I loved to play it but I still feel that playing it is going to be too heavy for my heart to handle since, in the end, that was our secret. I need something else to show my feelings and I feel that the guitar might be the fresh start that I need.

     The man arrives earlier today and the bar was fully packed since we would be having a show today. From time to time, my boss decides to invite singers and bands to play so everyone is very excited to hear them.

     - Good night sir, do you already know what you wish to order today or would you like to look at our menu? – I ask politely as I see his light grey eyes looking into mine. A shiver runs down my spine. What's this bad feeling?

     - Bring me a cup of black coffee. – He answers with his charming voice as his lips portrait a beautiful cold smile.

     - Alright, a black coffee coming right now!

     As I was leaving the table I hear him and I look at him in shock. "It seems like you are fully healed now." He said has his head rested in both of his hands.