Before Me, Him

Chapter 35

     As we finished our dinner Polly storms to the stairs, only stopping in Emily's room. I give my cousin a smile and she ended up going upstairs as well.

     - You should go as well June. – said, Therese. – I'm fine here.

     I nod. In the end, I was here helping because I was trying to delay the meeting with Polly, I didn't know what to expect from her honestly. That scared me.

     I walk up the stairs and open my room's door to see my bag out of place. Somehow it was on the floor and everything was random inside it as if someone had searched for something inside it. "I guess Polly cannot control her curiosity" I thought to myself. I mean, who else could it be besides her? Emily already lives here and she never did something like that.

     I checked inside the bag but nothing was missing. Polly must have been searching for some dirt on me or something. I remove my clothes and dress in my light grey pajama, it was a two-piece and one of the most comfortable pieces of cloth I owned. After a couple of minutes, I enter Emily's room to see both girls chatting and laughing. Polly was on a chair with her legs wide open while Emily, on the other hand, was sitting on her bed grabbing mister Tiddles, one of her favorite plushies.

     - June! – says Emily excited. –Do you like someone?

     - What is this question out of a sudden? – I answer while sitting down on her side. – I like you.

     - No June! – a frustrated expression appears on her face. –Besides family, do you like someone? Do you have someone you want to be dating?

     - Of course not Emily, I don't have the patience for that. – I give her a warm smile while she lets out a sigh of disappointment.

     - Polly said she liked Luke, she said he was interesting to be around. – out of a sudden Emily regains all her excitement. – Maybe you could try something, Polly! Confess to him!

     - I would but it's no good, he only has eyes for "J"... - Polly answers while her blue eyes stare into mine. Her grin was evil as if she was planning something again. She really gets on my nerves, using the nickname that Luke gave me just to provoke me, didn't she had anything better to do?

     They continued talking for a couple of hours while I read one of the books Emily had on one of her shelves. I wasn't really interested in the topics they were discussing, it was mostly boys. "Dean is so pretty", Emily stated. "Jacob is more handsome though" Polly replied. Jacob this, Philip that, Dean something else, Luke in the middle. How long can they keep talking about boys? Are they that interesting of a topic that you can spend two hours discussing it?

     Finally, Emily starts yawning and starts curling up in her bed. A couple of minutes later she was sound asleep. Polly gets up and goes to Emily's balcony while I cover her with blankets. Once I'm done, I join Polly outside to find her smoking a cigarette. I didn't know she smoked since she never did it around us. The smell wasn't pleasant and she was filling her lungs with it.

     Her red hair was sparkling in the moonlight and the ashes of the cigarette would fall onto a small recipient she had brought with her. Her eyes were equal to two big diamonds, a neon blue that would make the sky jealous. Her torso was leaned on the handrail and as I noticed all these small details I leaned my back against it as well.

     - Did you hear me that day Polly? – I asked while looking at her.

     - Does it matter? – her grinning expression appears again as her eyes leave the beautiful moon and start focusing on me instead.

     - It does. – I state.

     - Even if I did you can't change that fact so it doesn't matter. – the cigarette finds the way into her lips again.

     - Answer me! – I grab her hand. I was running out of patience.

     - Let's play a game then June. – her face grows closer to mine. – I'll answer every question you ask, truthfully and you will do the same. If you refuse to answer you lose.

     - What happens if I lose? – I frown my eyebrows.

     - I wonder... - she lets out a giggle. – It's a bet you are making. Life is made of bets after all.

     I nod my head, Polly was right. In life, we are always betting, no matter what it is. Just by being here, breathing, is a bet on my own body, a bet where I can die out of a sudden or just stay alive. That's not something we can change but we can adapt to it and accept it.

     - I start. – Polly rubs her cigarette on her recipient and throws it inside. –Why are you so cold to everyone?

     - I wouldn't say I'm cold but at the same time I don't know how to behave differently. –my eyes are glued to hers. I know this game is a trap, she wants to know more about me for some reason and I have to be extremely careful with the information that I pass onto her. – Did you hear me on that day?

     - Yes I did. – she grins. –What happened to you that made you behave like that?

     - I was always like this ever since I was a child, I guess I was born this way. –I smile coldly. I wasn't getting her the satisfaction of getting too deep. – What did you mean by "I want you"?

     - You still remember that? That was a joke, I wanted to see how Jacob would react but he didn't show a little bit of jealousy. I guess he was onto me. – Polly lets out a giggle and shrugs. – From Phillip, Jacob, Dean, and Luke, who is the one you truly like?

     - I don't like them, I accept them and tolerate them. They are not my friends. – I glare at her as she looks into my eyes in a state of shock. I guess she was not expecting this answer but that is the truth, I'm not lying. They are not my friends, Emily and her loving family are. Not those people who are just strangers. –Where did that cocky attitude come from?

     - Some years ago I was in Russia and I was very naive, similar to Emily in fact. I happened to let some people get too close and now I have this attitude to make them want their distance. I just happen to know what will make them feel uncomfortable or extremely comfortable. I can control them as I please. – for a change Polly was serious and I noticed, as she removed another cigarette from her bag, a small shiver. I guess that what happened to her did really leave a scar, such a big scar that still haunted her now. My heart started to flaunter as I could feel like I related to her. Maybe she was not that bad after all. After placing her cigarette on her mouth she removes a small picture from her trousers' back pocket.- Is this William?