Before Me, Him

Chapter 19

     The alarm clock rings, waking me up from my deep sleep. Once again the sun was hidden, waiting for his time to rise and create both light and shadow on the land of the mortals. I get up slowly and check my phone.

     "Thank you." That was Luke's message. It was still on my mind, I was still worried. I didn't want him to come here, I didn't want to deal with him. This was supposed to be a vacation but, for some reason, my emotions have been on a roller coaster that shows no sign of stopping. I just wanted my heart to feel at peace and to be quiet.

     I get dressed in some light denim shorts and an orange tight cropped top. I pick my denim jacket from the closet along with my backpack and go to the kitchen to prepare my breakfast. Once everything was done I leave the house and start my route to Robert's house.

     - Good morning June! – he says with a happy smile bathed by the dawn early rays of sunlight. – How was your weekend?

     - Mornin'! It was good! – I open the outdoor gate. – How about yours? Sorry I couldn't come here though.

     - It's quite alright June. – Robert picks up a bucket filled with fresh water. – Well mine was more of the same. I did go buy some groceries though.

     I smile at him and go to the animal food storage and pick up some hay and seeds. By now I was already used to everything, I knew what the animals ate and who needed special care. I also think that within this week and a half they have gotten more used to me. Maybe I'm just imagining things and they still don't understand anything but I feel like they allow me to do certain things that they wouldn't let before. 

     The chickens come straight out of their house when they see me, no matter if I'm with food or not, and walk around me as if telling me "Hello! We missed you". Gloria, the cow, would let me pet her softly in her head every morning. Midnight, a truly black goat, would poke my legs with his head to earn my attention. However, among all these animals, the one that wouldn't change at all was Autumn. He wouldn't eat the hay with the medicine and wouldn't come close to me. I was scared to get close to him as well and Robert advised me to maintain my distance. Maybe it was due to the sickness, it ended up making him more distant and less caring with his surroundings.

     Today I will try again. I'm not giving up on this stubborn horse. I place myself on the fence, stretching my arm to reach him, and, for a change,  Autumn stared at the hay.

     - It's alright Autumn, eat it, it will make you feel better. – I say softly in order to prevent him from getting scared.

     It didn't matter because after a couple of minutes he ended up giving up and leaving to the other side of his corral. I sight. I felt sad and maybe a little bit unmotivated. I really wanted him to get better but I can't help if he doesn't help himself first, that would be unwise. I wish there was another way to make it work but, during this past week, I tried everything: I bought different hay, I mixed the medicine with some apples, I applied less medicine but more food in order to have a less intense smell but, no matter what I did Autumn wouldn't even stare at me.

     I cannot give up yet. Today was a good day, she managed to actually look at the hay I was holding in my hand. Maybe tomorrow she will be able to eat it. Maybe.

     Once I was done feeding some of the animals and replacing their water I went to the kitchen and found Robert looking inside the fridge.

     - Do you need some help? – I ask while washing my hands on the sink.

     - I thought I had some leftovers from dinner but I was wrong... - he scratches his head and sighs. – Cooking day it is then.

     - Actually... - I look at him and smile. – Can I prepare the meal instead?

     - Only if you will make some company to an old soul like me. – he laughs.

     I nod and Robert sits at the kitchen table. While taking a look inside the fridge I could see some turkey steak and some onions and garlic. Hidden in the background there was a packed salad along with some tomatoes. I go to his pantry and see some raw potatoes. I have my ingredients.

     My mom always mocked my cooking skills, they were not great but they weren't bad either. I just know how to make simple meals but at least they are tastier since I try very hard. Isn't that what they say? What counts is your intention and your hard work? I smile to myself, I felt happy.

     After some forty minutes of cooking the lunch is ready and I serve it on the kitchen table where Robert was along Midnight.

     - It looks really good June. – he smiles kindly. – And smells even better!

     - You're exaggerating Robert but thank you. – I laugh while we start eating.

     - Do you want some steak, Midnight? – Robert asks while petting the goat in his head. Midnight bleated and, afterward, he left with all its might to the grassy fields.

     Once we finished our lunch I picked the dishes and washed them. I end up sitting back at the table with Robert.

     - What's the story with Autumn? – I question.

     - There is not much to tell honestly. – he looks out the window searching for Autumn with his eyes. – I found him some years ago roaming around. He had some wounds around his body and legs, I don't think he would've last long in that state. I ended up taking him in and when he was good enough I opened the door for him to leave but he decided to stay.

     - Hmm... - I say while my eyes lock on Autumn. – He's had it rough. Did you found out where he came from?

    - I tried but I didn't find it. I think he must have run from somewhere, far away from here.

     - He is fine here now though. That's what matters. – as I say this Robert's expression turns into a somewhat sad one. That's right, Autumn is not fine. He is sick. – Don't worry, we will find a way for him to be better.

     I offer Robert a kind smile but inside my head, honestly, I truly didn't know what else I could do. There is nothing that could be done that hadn't been done already. I really want him to be alright, both of them.

     As my eyes focus on Robert's lonely expression I realize that if Autumn left, a part of Robert would leave and never come back around. Part of his soul would be taken by invisible hands to never be returned to this Earth.