Before Me, Him

Chapter 55

     - William, you are alive! – my dad states as he approaches Jacob. Since he was beside me I could smell the stench of alcohol coming from his breath. Just to make things worse, he was extremely drunk.

     - Don, it's not William, that's... - my mom starts explaining as my dad pushes her with one hand. He didn't want her to say what he didn't want to hear, even as a drunk person he was not stupid.

     I rush to my mother's side helping her getting up and when I look back I see my dad embracing Jacob in a very tight hug while he was broken down in tears. He was sobbing so hard but, even then, you could hear him talk: "I knew it was all a lie", "You were alive all along", "You can't leave us again William, stop riding motorcycles and doing those things, something bad might actually happen next time". I look to Jacob just to see his face with an expression I'd never seen before. His eyes looked dead, cold but at the same time filled with rage. How couldn't he be like that after having a random person hugging him thinking you are his long-lost son?

     - Dad, he is not William. – I say after my mom sits down at the table. I felt a shiver down my spine when my father turned his face to me. The tears that were falling from his eyes started to disappear just to be turned into angst and despair. His soul was slipping away from him and everyone in this house knew it.

     - Don't lie June. You know what happens when you lie. –he says with a sadistic smile.

     - I'm not lying. – I start feeling my knees getting weaker. Every time I would say something my dad wouldn't like to hear I would always turn into a punching bag. I guess we can say that I was the only one that was able to make him feel more or less alive as he got extremely thrilled when he beat me up. Even though it wasn't something usual it was still scary and, to be honest, no matter how though I act this man standing in front of me is still my dad. I've lived with him, I've seen him grow too high just to see him decay twice as low. To me, he is still a demon that I have buried in my bones.

     - Why do you always lie you... - my dad removes his arms from Jacob's torso and starts coming towards me, bouncing from one side to the other. The moment I could feel his alcohol stinking breath on my face, he finishes his sentence. – little bitch.

     - William's dead and you are drunk again. You should go to a rehab clinic maybe there they will cure you. – I state as I find some strength within my body to face him again. My feet start walking on their own towards the stairs. I still needed to pack.

     Out of a sudden, as I was starting to go up the stairs, I hear a loud sound and I look back instantly: my dad was a couple of steps away from me with his fist glued to Jacob's clutching hand that, by the second, looked tighter and tighter. I understood straight away what had happened as I start hearing my dad complaining of pain.

     - I will help you pack. – Jacob says as he lets go of my dad's hand. Don falls on the floor and surrounds his hurting fist with the other hand, not like it would make any difference. As Jacob's eyes cross mine they turn into the ones I am more familiar with, the kind and warm light brown eyes.

     We both go upstairs and enter my room. Jacob sits on the bed as I start removing my clothes from my closet and some items from my shelves. I wasn't going to take everything in there, I didn't even had space to do it but, to be honest, I don't need all of this. "Just the basic stuff should be fine" I thought to myself.

     As I was opening one of my big traveling bags I look at Jacob. He had his eyes focused on his phone, he was texting someone. My heart tightens as I remind myself of what had happened. I sit next to him and he looks at me.

     - I'm sorry you had to go through that Jacob. That's why I wanted to come by myself. – I state as I let out a sigh. I couldn't look at him right now, I mean, I was feeling guilty, my dad had just put on another show due to his drinking addiction and Jacob had to witness it. This is not something normal for me or even logical.

     Jacob didn't reply, for a couple of minutes he didn't talk or even move. I decided to look at him to see what was going on with him. I was anxious. As I look up I see him looking at me making me wonder if he had been looking at me all this time. He raises his hand and touches my lips softly, the place that was filled with blood the day before yesterday.

     - It is not your fault, it never was your fault. – he said as he kept cherishing my bottom lip with his warm fingers. – I would feel guilty if he had hurt you again when I could easily stop it.

     With every movement, his finger did on my lip a heartbeat from my uneasy heart would come out. It felt weird and unusual. My whole body felt warmer as his face grew closer to mine. It was so close that I could feel his warm breath on my lips, warming them even more than the touch with his finger. It was quiet, so quiet. I could only hear my beating heart speeding up by the second and our anxious breaths. His light brown eyes were sparkling so bright as if they were hoping for something. My body felt hopeful as well. In my mind, I was dying to have his lips glued to mine. What was this feeling? This desire? Could it be love?

     As our lips were almost touching his phone rings and we both jump on the bed due to the fright we had just gotten. I quickly get up as Jacob picks up the phone with his hand covering his face. I start touching some items on my desk, pretending I was cleaning them up and putting them in the bag but truthfully I was just trying to regain my sanity. My heart kept beating so hard, almost as if it were an uncontrollable beast, a wild dragon that couldn't be tamed while my mind was all covered with thoughts of Jacob. Who was this person? This random June that had just popped up out of nowhere? 

Who am I right now?

     - Hello Emily! – Jacob says as he answers the phone call from my cousin. They start chatting slightly regarding the moving situation and to know when I would arrive at their house.

     "This is not the time to be daydreaming." I think to myself as I hear his calmer voice. I managed to go back to my senses and start packing everything. It took around one hour and a half to finish filling up my two big traveling bags. Jacob helps me carry the bags down and my dad was nowhere to be seen. We place them in the car and then I get back inside to talk with my mother.

     - Where's dad? – I question her as she lets out a sigh.

     - I wish I knew. He just left after Jacob went upstairs with you. – she answers me with a sorrowful expression. Suddenly her arms embrace me tightly and I hear her sobbing as some tears fall down her eyes. – Promise me you will be happy there.

     - Why don't you come with us mom? – I say as I pet her hair softly.

     - I need to take care of your dad, you know I can't sweetheart. – she says as she lets go. – I will visit often, I promise. Now go, I don't want you to be late!

     My mom starts pushing me out the door and, as I enter the car where Jacob was waiting, she starts waving at me with a hurtful but happy smile.