Before Me, Him

Chapter 14

     Once I get to the front gate I hear his voice.

     - Hello June. – I feel a slight pinch on my heart.

     - Hello. – I look to him and see, on his side, Dean giving me a beautiful smile while Philip was focused on his typical reading. I didn't want to be bothered by their presence. – Have a great day guys.

     Jacob was wearing a black shirt with some grey trousers making his black necklaces blend together. On the other hand, Philip was wearing a white shirt and some beige trousers while Dean was wearing a green tank top and some grey shorts.

     - What happened to your hands? – Jacob asks while closing the gate that I was trying to open.

     - I fell. – I state while looking at his light brown eyes.

     - Oh really? – Jacob frowns – Then how come you have your hands perfectly treated if you weren't at home?

     - It's none of your business is it, Jacob? – I give him a cold smile as he lets go of the gate.

     - June! – I hear Emily screaming from the front door, running towards me and giving me an extremely tight hug. – I was so worried, yesterday you just fell asleep and I couldn't wake you up even!

     As usual, Emily was stunning. She curled her blonde hair and was wearing a white shirt with a pink mini skirt followed by some light brown sandals and a light brown handbag.

     - Sorry, I was just really tired. – I pet her head.

     - We're about to go grab some lunch, want to join us? – Emily gives me a stunningly bright smile. As I was about to answer "No" Philip's question emerges "Why are you avoiding us?". I guess I kind of feel guilty, I did not give them a chance to do anything. I just ran from them and tried to escape their presence at all costs.

     - Sure. – I say hesitantly – Let me just change alright?

     My dark denim jeans and my grey sweatshirt had some dirt and water stains, as well as some seeds and hay leftovers. It was better not to go to the central area looking like this, it would attract too much attention. I enter the house and, after five minutes I go down with some black denim jeans and an oversized white t-shirt. My hair was tied up in two low ponytails and my black backpack was on my left shoulder, hanging around. As we walked towards a fast food restaurant in the area Dean decides to chat.

     - You know you should be more feminine right June? – he looks at me smiling. – Otherwise, guys won't notice you.

     - Dean – I say with a cold smile – I don't remember asking for your opinion.

     Both Jacob and Philip start laughing while Emily looks back at me confused.

     - What's going on? – she asks.

     - Nothing important Emily. – I state. – Was just taking care of an annoying fly.

     After twenty minutes of laughing we reach our lunch spot and, thirty minutes after our arrival we finish eating everything. As we were walking around Dean receives a phone call and states that he needs to leave. Emily and Philip join him leaving me and Jacob behind. Of course.

     - Where do you want to go? – he asks.

     "Home" that's what I wanted to reply but couldn't. Every time I considered avoiding Jacob the question would always pop up in my head. "Why are you avoiding us?" I still had no answer for that besides "it's easier". To whom? To me? To them? To whom?

     Will I ever be able to say something? Will I ever be able to fight for something? Will I be able to ever stop being like this?

     - Anywhere is fine. – I answer.

    - Well... - Jacob looks at me shocked. I assume it was because I'm always saying "No" or just leaving but this time I stayed. – I have the perfect place.

     As we walked I would see everyone around me, smiling happily as they passed by. The dogs were barking and their tails wiggling. The couples were eating their ice cream at the cafe. The kids were running around playing catch. The sun was shining bright and the sky had a beautiful blue tone. Somehow it was pleasant. The environment that yesterday brought anxiety and stress into my soul was not a comfortable place to be in like this is a lot better.

     I look to Jacob as his eyes were wandering on his surroundings. From this point of view, he didn't look like my brother at all. His mouth was different, William's was fuller. His ears were also different, Jacob's were smaller than my brother's. Lots of Jacob's facial features were different than William's now that I can actually look at him for a longer amount of time. I do understand the similarities though.

     - We're here. – Jacob says while looking at me and smiling.

     Once my eyes disconnect from him I see a small park with several healthy trees filled with vivid green leaves. In the middle, there was a small lake with some fishes touching the top of the water, from time to time, with their mouths. I sit on a bench and Jacob sits next to me. For fifteen minutes none of us says anything.

     - How did you meet Emily? – I ask while looking into the small lake.

     - We met four years ago. – he lays his back on the bench – I was with Philip and Dean at the mall and out of the blue I hear someone screaming "William!" and then I feel someone hugging me from behind with a lot of strength. When I look back there she was, crying non-stop. We took her to a cafe so she would calm down and that was when she apologized. Emily explained that an important person to her had died recently and that I was very similar to him.

     "So even Emily saw the resemblance". I did think that Emily didn't notice the similarities between both of them but I guess I was wrong, she did saw how alike they were and she actually had the guts to run for it. She's brave. On the other hand, I'm just here, running from Jacob just like I'm running from my past just because I don't want to get hurt again.

     Hurt again? Did it ever stop hurting though? I don't think so. I just pretended that it did, I deluded myself into thinking I was alright all this time when I wasn't.

     - William... - I say while staring at Jacob.

     - You knew him?

     - Yeah. – I get up and stretch my body. – He was... a friend.